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We all play games. In every encounter with other people we are doing so. The nature of these games depends both on the situation and on who we meet.
Eric Berne's classic Games People Play is the most accessible and insightful book ever written about the games we play: those patterns of behaviour that reveal hidden feelings and emotions. Wise and witty, it shows the underlying motivations behind our relationships and gives you the keys to unlock the psychology of others - and yourself.
You'll become more honest, more effective, and a true team player.
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Dr Berne's theory is based on the idea that 'Games' provide a means to an end. They structure our time, and enable us to 'belong' to social groups: an important factor in survival. However, they are limiting, in the sense that they are almost always negative; learned from our parents, or based on narrow influences. The games have names such as: 'See What You Made Me Do' ; 'Ain't It Awful'; and 'I'm Only Trying To Help You'. It is easy to recognise games in action, having read the book. Ultimately, the individual has the choice to continue to play games, or to stop playing games (not easy) and to strive for autonomy.
It is hard to believe this book was written in 1964 - it feels so modern. 'Timeless' is probably the best way to describe it. Are you 'Waiting For Rigor Mortis To Set In', or (essentially the same) spending your days playing 'Waiting For Santa Claus' ?
Read this book, and see how many games you and yours play in your daily life - and why! This book is a must for anyone interested in psychotherapy, or in books which aim to help the individual live a more rewarding life.
'Games People Play' explains and analyses, with pertinent real-life examples, the continual stuggle between our inner child, parent and adult to dominate a social situation, colloquially termed as 'games'. It explains that the outcome of these games are a fundamental human requirement, and by understanding the way these games are played we learn to understand the motivations of ourselves and our peers.
The first time I read this book, I instantly recognised real life occasions where the information contained was relevant and useful. If you have only a passing interest in psychology, you will still occassionally sit upright while reading and say to yourself - 'So this is why people act like that'.
Some of the passages are eminently quotable - "Everyone carries a little boy or girl around inside of him", and at the very least by remembering some of these key phrases, you will begin to understand the desires and reactions of others.
This is no pop-psychology rubbish - it is clinical psychology explained at a fundamental level, and crafted to be accessible and useful for everyone. The book is rarely dry and monotonous, and I was pleased to find some extremely humorous passages.
I challenge anyone to read this book and not find a revelation or two inside.
With some serious relationship problems outside the workplace, I bought Games People Play with the hope it could help to explain some of the things that have been going wrong. I wasn't disappointed, and quite apart from help me do some self-analysis, it has allowed me to see just how many "games" are played by others.
As well as being of great personal benefit, I found descriptions of some of the games (such as Alcoholic and Courtroom) very interesting. Alcoholic, in particlar, is given several pages, as one of the most complicated and destructive games that people play - and even goes some way to explaining how and why AA are effective in helping people.
If the book has a down side, it's perhaps only that it doesn't work as a self-help title without some serious thinking, honesty and soul-searching by the reader. However, it is really not meant as a self-help title and it would be wrong to judge it as one.
On the whole, though, a very interesting study of human behaviour and a good set of "worked examples" for anyone trying to understand Transactional Analysis.
There is an index of Pastimes and Games included at the end of the book but they point to the wrong... Read more
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