First things first: my two and a half year old loves this trampoline. It made him giggle with delight from the first moment he climbed on it. Once constructed, it is durable, a good size and well balanced. 'Folding' is a slight misnomer: the feet do fold, but you actually have to unscrew and remove the handle if you want to put the whole thing away.
But as you watch your child's happy face you will have to try and forget the trauma that was the self-assembly process. I'm not quite sure why the actual trampoline section of this toy has to be self-assembly. It's much like buying a tennis racket and having to string it yourself. And about as much fun.
In essence the task before you will be this: take one bungy cord, and, using brute force, stretch it to double its natural length in order to lace it between the eyelets in the metal base and eyelets in the trampoline mat. But that's not all. The mat will have to remain around 5cm equidistant from the metal frame at all times.
A few things will be working against you in this task. First: the laws of physics - specifically the one about gravity (the whole structure is light and wants to lift off the ground as you yank the bungy cord); and also Newton's third one about motion (the one that says that every stretched bungy cord has an equal and opposite unstretching if you relax your grip for a microsecond).
Secondly, your sense of humour. You will be familiar with the first law of self-assembly: time spent is inversely proportional to fun gained. Whenever you tighten the cord, the mat will naturally pull tight to the metal frame. But yet it must stay several centimetres from it. My, how you'll laugh.
And thirdly the resilience of your skin: the inevitable blistering of your hands as you attempt to wrap those last groaning millimetres of bungy around the final eyelets will be an impediment to the task-completion you will by that time be prepared to sacrifice your life for.
Its at about this point to you will remember how you scoffed at the manufacturer's advice that this toy is best asembled by two people. Two adults to assemble one modestly sized item of garden recreation? Don't be ridiculous. In desperation you will nonetheless summon your hapless partner/spouse to assist. But that, sadly, will serve only to double the frustration and half the viable duration of your marriage.
There is possibly a decent TV programme format in getting the manufacturers of self assembly merchandise to construct their own products in front of a hostile audience. Your small child however will simply watch your misery in bewilderment, and then climb on board and bounce. And as you watch them a tear will come to your eye. The tears of pure, uncomprehending, bewildered misery of a kind only self assembly can induce.