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GET IT, UNDERSTAND IT, GET AHEAD - how to develop exceptional personal skills [Paperback]

James Taylor

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Book Description

15 Mar 2012
Only a few special people have that little extra something which defines them as exceptional people. Can these skills be acquired? Yes they can, and here is your opportunity to acquire them. If you read and apply the contents of this book, working through the exercises in each section, you will 'get it', and you will evolve into a person with outstanding people skills. This is a book which looks at personal development from a completely practical angle, setting the reader many exercises in order for them to develop new ways of speaking and relating. 'Get it' explains how we can become much more powerful people by examining our behaviour, our language use, and our appearance. You, the reader, will be involved throughout, developing these as you progress through the book.

To fully achieve our personal goals, we need exceptional communication skills, and we also need a complete knowledge of how others work. We need this because this will not only enable us to bring out the best in others, but will also enable us to deal effectively with manipulators, liars, and bullies. All these characters and the relevant skills needed to handle them with ease are thoroughly studied in this book, along with communication skills which will make you inspiring to everyone you meet and leave you immune to any verbal sabotage. Naturally, you will be highly respected for these skills, and you will rise to the higher end of the social spectrum.

Here is the workbook of contemporary social skills - the workbook everyone has been waiting for. James Taylor has a no-nonsense approach. There is no metaphor here, just a book full of immensely useful exercises and advice, from areas as diverse as pragmatics, philosophy, NLP, hypnosis, counselling, persuasion, grammar and linguistics, seduction, and many other areas of popular psychology. Skilled use of language is crucial to enable us to reach the pinnacle of interpersonal skill, so there is an additional supplementary language study workbook available to offer more practice exercises and discussion.

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More About the Author

I published 'Get it, Understand it: Get ahead' in March 2012. This book looks at status in a very practical way, examining things we can do to raise our status, and things we might not realise we are doing that are lowering our status, enabling us to manage our status more effectively. This is a book which offers real rather than imaginary benefits, and although it was originally written only for friends and family I sincerely hope that many more people will benefit from the rich pool of social resources offered here.

I have already (July) had reports from people who tell me that it has enabled them to deal with manipulative people constructively and effectively. Manipulative people are people who shirk responsibility by blaming others, making others feel guilty and obligated to 'help' them, and although there is an abundance of literature on handling these people, very little of this literature discusses the way these people use language to carry out their manipulations. This book looks at this in detail, and along with explaining argument strategies (e.g. 'I don't expect that from an intelligent person like you' or 'prove I'm wrong and I'll believe you') and presupposition patterns (e.g. 'why do you always behave like this?' or 'you know that idea won't work') it also looks at other linguistic tricks that are frequently used, e.g. 'eating/spending/relaxing again are we?' which is used to suggest we are overeating/overspending or underworking. Also there is the common trick of answering a question with a question/accusation - here, rather than allowing them to take control by answering their question, we need to address their question answering strategy. This book examines not only the words these people use, but also the way they construct these tricks, enabling you to play on a level field. Obviously it is a good idea to read the material by Martha Stout, Robert Hare, George Simon et al to uncover the darker aspects of some manipulative people, but in many cases this behaviour is simply a power game that can be countered with knowledge and skill.

'Get It' was written because I felt that the people skills and popular psychology library needed a book with a more inclusive approach. Whereas there are many books on conversation, sales, and influence, there is so much to gain by drawing links between these topics. Also, I felt that it was time for modern linguistics to be brought into mainstream popular psychology literature in a thoroughly integrated way. The book had to be a fun read yet still go into enough detail to be of great practical use.

When we seek to improve our communication skills, what we find frustrating is that so many fields need to be studied. My early interests in NLP and CBT revealed ways to alter mindset; my work as a personal trainer revealed that good posture is crucial if we need to command other people; my work in philosophy revealed how we use various argument strategies in everyday contexts; and so the list goes on, embracing voice training, lie detection, handling manipulators etc. Having worked through this long list of relevant items, I realised that although NLP was full of linguistic concepts, the field of linguistics itself was - and is - still in its infancy. Realising that Bandler and Grinder had applied the linguistic concepts of the 1970s to the work of the leading therapists at that time, I thought that a look at contemporary linguistics would offer more material; this led me to semantics and pragmatics, where I discovered many additional relevant linguistic concepts.

Having looked at many different areas, I thought that it would be a good idea to combine all of these elements in one book. Better still, a workbook. Even better still, a workbook that would present this essential information in a form that everyone could understand. After all, the people who need the book the most are unlikely to be therapists themselves, so each idea had to be presented from the bottom upwards in plain English. 'Get it' was on the way - a course covering all this material in the form of a workbook. The material is explained without any jargon, in plain English, to make it accessible to anyone.

I published three books along the way to 'Get it; Understand it: Get ahead', namely 'I want what they've got', 'How you can command respect' and 'Attraction, love, and relationships'. These are early attempts at assembling this book, and so in all honesty I would not recommend getting these.

But now we have the item I envisaged. 'Get it: Understand it: Get ahead' looks at at the complete picture in the form of a workbook. It contains lots of material, each idea being followed by exercises just to make sure that you know how to apply the knowledge you read. Skillful use of language is of the utmost importance for social success, linguists tell us that status is encoded in speech, so I have published a companion language workbook which examines relevant linguistic ideas.

These ideas will certainly help a person who is 'too nice', simply by telling them the complete behavioural picture. In fact, anybody who feels they lack control of their lives will benefit considerably from this information. Confidence and status are linked, and when we behave in ways that command greater respect, our confidence will be free to grow.

In writing this book I've tried to make your journey a lot easier than mine, and I hope that you will enjoy the benefits of this information as much as I have. Having worked your way through this book, and the language workbook, you will have learned the essence of many long years study.

Product Description

From the Author

A lot of us feel frustrated. We want to have absolute control over our lives, but we constantly find ourselves obliged to serve others. We feel that people don't listen to us at meetings; we feel that we are trying to please people we don't even like. Then we become even more frustrated when discover that the people we tried to please are getting promotion after promotion. What is going on?

The answer is quite simply that these less nice individuals know some things you don't know. They are doing certain things that cause you to be 'nice' to them, and they know how to make you follow their lead - whether you want to or not. If you find out what they are doing, you will be able to copy their ways if you choose. Additionally, simply recognizing their tactics will make you immune to them. You probably won't choose to behave like they do, but you can enjoy using some of their ways in order to get what you want.

We are creatures who judge each other on the basis of what we see and hear, so we need a complete mastery of both the image we project and the language we use. We also need an overview of power-play psychology. Get it: Understand it: Get ahead and its companion workbook offer you this, setting exercises to show you how to apply this knowledge in a way that fits your own unique needs. Both books are workbooks, providing many exercises. The main book provides lots of material on the strategies people use to gain the upper hand, and the companion workbook provides further work on verbal communication power. These books will provide you with skills to get ahead using knowledge and verbal dexterity.

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