Full of Myself [Hardcover]

If you've got any interest in British rock climbing (or climbing full stop), then you know -- or should know -- who Johnny Dawes is.

Dawes (The Dawes, the Stone Monkey, the Cosmic Rascal ...) is one of the great climbers of the 20th century. In the 80s, he pushed the grades with routes like Gaia, Indian Face, Braille Trail and the Quarryman that were not only harder than anything anyone else was climbing, they were bolder, stranger, more visionary. While his peers were getting into sport climbing, regimented training and athleticism, Dawes seemed to be imagining new ways of moving on rock, finding ways to stand on nothingness or use dynamism to flow through a series of inadequate holds.

It's no surprise that this is anything but a standard climbing autobiography, and it shouldn't be: instead, it feels like a download direct from Johnny's brain, raw and unfiltered, a glimpse into what it feels like to have the kind of mind that could envision those routes. It skips over what a ghostwriter would have added, the bland and factual over-elaboration of who and what and where, in favour of wonky lyricism and move-by-move descriptions of climbs, the textures and subtleties of holds and moves recalled in microscopic and impassioned detail. More than any other book I've read, it communicates the way in which climbing can transcend "sport" to become a deep engagement of the heart and the world.

Oh, and there's a very important existential encounter with a bee.

Baffling, brilliant, heart-breaking, slyly hilarious when you least expect it; it will make you believe that if you could understand all of it, you could climb a good five grades harder. Essential reading.

Johnny Dawes commenced climbing as a schoolboy on various structures in addition to rock, and in the 1980s he transformed climbing techniques with introduction of the dyno using momentum to convert unusable features into holds, and he raised standards to E8 and E9. Revolutionary performances on gritstone and in North Wales culminated at age 22 years in his mesmerizing ascent of Indian Face on Cloggy. Together with accounts of climbs and the climbing scene on grit, Welsh slate, Gogarth, Strone Ulladale, abroad etc. the outlandish build up to this seismic event, including his obsessional attention to controlled falling, is quirkily told in `Full of Myself'. With honesty and self-deprecation his approach is wacky, humorous and original, but behind this imaginative, multi-dimensional rock-climbing genius is a deep thinker whose choice of subjects is an eclectic mixture stirred by a style of writing embracing both move by move portrayals and throwaway quips. In addition to climbing stories there is brief mention of his filming activities which endorse him as having an artistic inclination, and this is readily appreciated via his self-published book with its neat binding, attractive endpapers and dust wrapper as well as delightful illustrations and stunning photographs. Though somewhat disjointed there are also tales of political stunts, American escapades, motor racing, personal considerations etc.

Like a Dickens `Great Expectations' character described as "different and extraordinary" the idiosyncratic `Full of Myself' confirms Johnny Dawes as unique and incredible. As probably the best of the leading British rockclimbers of his generation he is ideally placed to comment not only on his own breathtakingly stupendous achievements, but also to compare with his contemporaries, and even to pass judgement on undertakings of those who came before and those who followed. From rubbing shoulders with the elite Johnny Dawes could be expected to dispense more meaningful insights, yet in outspoken and irreverent manner he chooses to be flippant with nearly as much emphasis on car driving capers, wild partying and general larking about as on climbing.

For readers preferring something more conventional and less controversial their expectations for a mainstream climbing autobiography are likely to be unfulfilled, but maybe the hedonistic and anarchic behaviour of Johnny Dawes stems from the same visionary and creative qualities necessary to see beyond credible boundaries and to dare to proceed. In many ways `Full of Myself' chronicles a journey of understanding and in addition to the spellbinding innovative climbing element there are references to his difficulties in fitting in; from schooldays onwards. He ends his book asking readers: "What do you think about me?" He has doubts; which is not surprising after reaching a pinnacle of success so early. He alludes to therapy and meditation, and in a form of introspective analysis he expresses a desire to be part of the wider world. The book title `Full of Myself' reflects Johnny Dawes acknowledgement of his brashness, self significance and his habit of interjecting and imposing his views on others. However perhaps it is his ability to interweave and interpret off-the-crag issues together with accounts of his own climbs that guarantees his autobiography will become a classic.

For anyone who read previous articles by Johnny Dawes - the Indian Face account in Extreme Rock for instance - this book perhaps came with high expectations. That line - my movement startling me like a car unexpectedly in gear in a crowded parking lot - said so much more than mere climbing, more climbing as a window into other areas, states of mind. Happily, this book delivers - a diverse series of essays linked by his life, rather than a cohesive autobiography. There is something quite unique about it. Even the non-climbing sections are fascinating. And a new favourite line - just as affectionately slapping an elephant's haunch you would be greeting the whole creature, the surface of the rock became the skin of all the rock beneath. This book speaks to me more about the magic of rock climbing than anything that's come before. Read it!