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French Children Don't Throw Food
 
 

French Children Don't Throw Food [Kindle Edition]

Pamela Druckerman
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)

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Review

'Fascinating...gripping...extremely funny...A desperately needed corrective to received wisdom about child-rearing and what having children is supposed to do to a woman's sense of self. I loved it. It made me want to move to Paris.' --India Knight, Sunday Times

'Self-deprecating, witty, informative...But however much she admires "the easy, calm authority" French parents seem to posess, will Druckerman manage it herself? Her efforts to do so add a compelling narrative to this fascinating study of French parenting.' --Michele Hanson, Guardian

'I couldn't put it down! Smart, funny, provocative, and genuinely eye-opening.' --Amy Chua, author of 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother'

'In engaging story-telling prose, Druckerman describes a French scoiety of good little sleepers, gourmet eaters, and relaxed parents.'
--Mireille Guiliano, author of 'French Women Don't Get Fat'

'Pamela Druckerman is a charming narrator...she has produced an important guide to staying calm, and if half of what she says about anglophone parents is true, her book should be dispensed on prescription.'
--Spectator

Book Description

What French Women Don't Get Fat did for dieting, French Children Don't Throw Food will do for parenting - a witty memoir that gives an insightful look at the secrets of parenting a la Francaise.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
59 of 64 people found the following review helpful
By Emma
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I recently bought this book as I live in France and am expecting a child. It is an entertaining read, and I believe that is all it is meant to be. However the author's view on France is incredibly narrow and became increasingly frustrating. It is a shame that she insisted on generalising so much when her contact with France and the French seems to be very limited, she mixes with a small section of wealthy and educated Parisians. Comparing Parisians to the rest of France is silly and shortsighted. Londoners do not represent the UK, nor do New Yorkers America.

Some of her facts about France's views on baby rearing are incorrect. She claims that in France practically nobody breastfeeds and it is not considered beneficial. That is untrue on the RSI website it states very clearly that breast is best, should be done (if possible) for the 1st 6 months and going back to work was not a reason to stop.

I also find her generalisations about Anglophones frustrating as again I don't think that her experience of British people has much depth. Admittedly she is married to a Brit, but he was brought up in Holland and so possibly not a true representative. Some of the things that she seemed to be amazed about in France are also common place in the UK.

All in all it is an entertaining book with a couple of good pointers, but be aware that there is a lot of generalisation and so should be taken with a large pinch of salt.
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98 of 108 people found the following review helpful
Vive la Difference 21 Jan 2012
Format:Hardcover
Beneath a cloak of chatty prose and self-deprecating humour, Pamela Druckerman offers an incisive commentary on child-rearing in France. An irritating American with an irritable British husband (her words, not mine!), she experiences first-hand the differences in cultural, linguistic and performative expectations, covering everything from assumptions about pregnancy, to the socialisation of toddlers, and, of course, plain good manners. Embedded in the text are other stories, of raising bilingual children and of expat mothers in Paris, commiserating over French weirdness and tipping each other off as to where they can buy Marmite and Frazzles.

This is no hatchet job on Anglophone maternity, nor is it a hagiography of French methods. Druckerman is far too smart for that, and even takes time out to investigate how many "American" methods have already been lifted from abroad. Discreet references at the back of the book ground her comments firmly in real research and childcare philosophy, stretching all the way back to Rousseau. Plenty of food for thought, and none of it thrown.

However, since the French are not above dishing out smacks, perhaps someone would like to spank the design department for the ridiculously twee dust jacket, which serves little purpose and ended up in the bin shortly after I acquired the book.
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34 of 38 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This is a well-researched, well thought-out book about the philosophical differences between the Anglophone and the French approach to raising children. I found it very thought-provoking, especially as a Mother of three small and boisterous boys.

Obviously the cultural structures (Creche/School/Food culture etc) that support the French approach to parenting aren't available here in Western Australia (!) But Pamela's discussion of the need for children to wait; the idea of the certainty of the cadre inside which children have freedom; the notion of trusting your children more; of respecting their rationality; of not beating oneself up about perceived failures of Mothering - these were all a-ha ! moments for me. She refers often to French experts on parenting who are quite simply unheard of in the Anglophone world (and unavailable in translation - like Francoise Dolto) and she also refers to the influence of Rousseau on the French approach to parenting.

I am about to re-read my Kindle version again, and take notes this time. I can't implement all of the ideas that she discusses - I don't have the level of support that she does; but I do like the idea of calmer, more confident children.

This book has a confiding, chatty tone that is extremely pleasant to read. I don't have a problem if she is rich (two writers ? I doubt it !) or if she lives in a certain area in Paris, or moves in certain circles - I'm a middle-class professional myself (or was, before I became a SAHM - and having read this book am now thinking quite hard about that as well). I don't think that the points that she makes are any less valid because of her perceived social status.

I think it is a little harsh to attack such a useful and thoughtful book on the basis that she has only covered the areas of French parenting that she is familiar with, and from the perspective that she is familiar with. She hasn't discussed the issues of raising a teenager in a working class suburb of Lyons because she has no experience of that and it seems pointless to me to attack her for only covering what she knows. She doesn't discuss teenagers much either - again because her children are only very young....

Don't be put off reading this book - it offers not only a thoughtful critique of the differences in approach to parenting, but also an analysis of how to implement those aspects of the French approach that you find appealing, in detail.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Fascinating book
This is a fascinating book which will be of interest to all parents and grandparents. The French traditions described, such as pausing before going to one's crying baby, seem to me... Read more
Published 11 days ago by Bachgen newydd
Food for thought!
This book is for anyone with children! There is lots to take away and think about from the French culture of bringing up children. Read more
Published 14 days ago by Mitchell
where children are not god
Watching the changes in the way children have come to dominate people's worlds is quite un-nerving. this very amusing book contains some great insights for new parents on our side... Read more
Published 22 days ago by cranston
Interesting, funny...until the kids get their bits cut off
I was thoroughly enjoying reading this. Despite the stereotypes some of the advice was very practical and simple. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Frank Coles
A must read if you are overwhelmed with baby guidance.
A refreshing and very funny autobiographical journey through the writer's experience of becoming a parent in Paris. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Anillorac
Lessons to be learned?
If only I had known all of these methods when I had my children, best think of the saying 'ignorance is bliss' in this instance! A really good read and full of food for thought.
Published 1 month ago by Veronica Lyons
Another excellent read
Witty, captivating and well worth reading. This book talks about the parenting habits that lead to well behaved children as well as the ones that don't! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Cara H
Wry humour and some pearls of wisdoms
A laugh-out-loud funny book that makes a lot of excellent observations. Pamela Druckerman has a lovely warm writing style and captures beautifully the frustrations of new... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Golgafrincham
Practical Advice for parents & caregivers
I really like this book because it breaks down, in a very practical way, what it is that the French are doing to end up with children that don't need constant stimulation, and... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Yoshi
Loved it
I loved this book. I found some parenting concepts fresh and interesting and overall it helped me look at my parenting style from a different angle. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Lola Kane
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Popular Highlights

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&quote;
The first principle is that, after the first few months, a baby should eat at roughly the same time each day. The second is that babies should have a few big feeds rather than a lot of small ones. And the third is that the baby should fit into the rhythm of the family. &quote;
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My first intervention is to say, when your baby is born, just dont jump on your kid at night, Cohen says. Give your baby a chance to self-soothe, dont automatically respond, even from birth. &quote;
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&quote;
Rousseau says the biggest parenting trap is to think that because a child can argue well, his argument deserves the same weight as your own. The worst education is to leave him floating between his will and yours and to dispute endlessly between you and him as to which of the two will be the master. &quote;
Highlighted by 17 Kindle users

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