Freezer Burn [Hardcover]

First, let me talk for a moment about the writings of Joe R. Lansdale. I'm now totally addicted to this remarkable East Texas author. I think his novel, THE BOTTOMS, is one of the true masterpieces of modern American literature. I love the "Hap/Leonard" series and could read a new novel about these two hilarious and utterly heroic characters every week, if Mr. Lansdale could write the books fast enough. I've read his novellas THE BOAR and THE BIG BLOW and have wondered why a mainstream publisher didn't pick up these two great little books. I've also read his children's story, SOMETHING LUMBER THIS WAY COMES. So far, I've enjoyed every piece of writing by him that I have read. FREEZER BURN is no exception. Though certainly different from the above books, it nevertheless is pure Lansdale at his best. This is the story of Bill Roberts, a low life who simply doesn't know any better. He's been living with his dominating mother for a long time, and when she finally dies, he decides to keep her body in the bedroom so that her social security checks will continue to come in. The only problem with the plan is that Bill is unable to successfully forge her signature on the checks. So, with a handful of checks he's unable to cash, a raucous smell permeating the house, and a couple of cans of beets in the kitchen cabinet left to eat, Bill makes the less-than-lucid decision to rob the firecracker stand across the street on the fourth of July with the help of two equally stupid acquaintances, Fat Boy and Chaplin. Like everything else in Bill's life, the robbery goes terribly wrong. The owner of the firecracker stand is murdered and then Fat Boy (he encounters a nest of water moccasins in the swamp!!!!) and Chaplin are killed in the getaway. Bill hides out in the Bottoms for a day or so, feeding the mosquitoes with his face, avoiding the poisonous snakes, and praying the law doesn't catch up with him. When he eventually comes out of hiding, he sees a carnival in a nearby field and goes to them for help. The owner of carnival, Jack Frost, takes Bill in and allows him to stay until he's completely healed from the mosquito bites, and then offers him a job. This carnival is special. It's filled with freaks: Conrad the Dog Man, U.S. Grant the Bearded Lady, the two-head Buckwheat, pin heads and punk heads, midgets, and the Ice Man. Even Frost has a hand growing out of his chest. The only other normal person (except for a couple of nasty roustabouts) besides Bill is Gidget, the wife of Jack Frost. Gidget-blonde, beautiful, sexy, and as deadly as one of those cottonmouths in the Bottoms-is every husband's worse nightmare. Over a period of weeks, Bill gradually begins to see Frost and some of the other freaks in the carnival as human beings, but it isn't his destiny to be a nice guy. Gidget has other ideas for him. It isn't long before she seduces Bill with her body and talks him into helping her kill Frost so that they can take over the carnival. Of course, like Bill's other endeavors, the plan to kill Gidget's husband will have its drawbacks and pitfalls, and nothing will turn out quite as he expects. FREEZER BURN is definitely not for everyone. I think the reader has to have a rather bizarre sense of humor and a willingness to allow the author to take him/her down a path that may seem somewhat weird to the average person, yet is actually a journey about life and what it means to be different, not to mention what goes around, comes around. This novel is Mr. Lansdale's homage to James M. Cain's THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE, using the themes of lust, adultery, and murder, only with a slightly different twist. Though funny from beginning to end (yes, I have a rather bizarre sense of humor about life), this novel is also filled with poignant insights into how people treat those who are different. I also think that Mr. Lansdale is a firm believer in karma. When people do bad things, it always comes back to bite them in the butt sooner or later. I will say that the finale of FREEZER BURN is a downer; yet, I don't see how the author could've ended it differently. The story could only have one final outcome and still remain true to the very nature of who Bill Roberts and Gidget Frost actually are. If you're looking for a happy ending, this isn't the book to read. If, however, you're looking for a book that will shock you, tickle your funny bone, and make you think about prejudice in all of its sad and unhealthy forms, then this is the one to buy.

First, let me talk for a moment about the writings of Joe R. Lansdale. I'm now totally addicted to this remarkable East Texas author. I think his novel, THE BOTTOMS, is one of the true masterpieces of modern American literature. I love the "Hap/Leonard" series and could read a new novel about these two hilarious and utterly heroic characters every week, if Mr. Lansdale could write the books fast enough. I've read his novellas THE BOAR and THE BIG BLOW and have wondered why a mainstream publisher didn't pick up these two great little books. I've also read his children's story, SOMETHING LUMBER THIS WAY COMES. So far, I've enjoyed every piece of writing by him that I have read. FREEZER BURN is no exception. Though certainly different from the above books, it nevertheless is pure Lansdale at his best. This is the story of Bill Roberts, a low life who simply doesn't know any better. He's been living with his dominating mother for a long time, and when she finally dies, he decides to keep her body in the bedroom so that her social security checks will continue to come in. The only problem with the plan is that Bill is unable to successfully forge her signature on the checks..FREEZER BURN is definitely not for everyone. I think the reader has to have a rather bizarre sense of humor and a willingness to allow the author to take him/her down a path that may seem somewhat weird to the average person, yet is actually a journey about life and what it means to be different, not to mention what goes around, comes around. This novel is Mr. Lansdale's homage to James M. Cain's THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE, using the themes of lust, adultery, and murder, only with a slightly different twist. Though funny from beginning to end (yes, I have a rather bizarre sense of humor about life), this novel is also filled with poignant insights into how people treat those who are different. I also think that Mr. Lansdale is a firm believer in karma. When people do bad things, it always comes back to bite them in the butt sooner or later. I will say that the finale of FREEZER BURN is a downer; yet, I don't see how the author could've ended it differently. The story could only have one final outcome and still remain true to the very nature of who Bill Roberts and Gidget Frost actually are. If you're looking for a happy ending, this isn't the book to read. If, however, you're looking for a book that will shock you, tickle your funny bone, and make you think about prejudice in all of its sad and unhealthy forms, then this is the one to buy.

I had never heard of Lansdale until I saw the movie 'Bubba Ho Tep', which is based on one of his stories, and the sheer wildness of the idea behind that story just blew me away. I immediately went and bought the first Lansdale book I could find, which happened to be this one.
I started it on the bus to work the next day, and was so stunned by what I was reading that I couldn't face a day at work away from the book so made up a convincing ailment and rang in sick! I continued to read the book on the return journey and all day at home, and absolutely loved it!
It explores something dark and strange, and yet beautiful that exists just under the surface of human nature. Something that we don't always see enough of, yet deep down we long for.
I loved all of the characters in the book - every wild, crazy, freakish one of them, with their hopes and dreams and loves and aspirations.
The dialogue and characterisation is stunning. This is a cliche I know, but it really is like the purest wildest rock n roll put into writing. This book is really something special, and I will genuinely remember all the characters forever - or until I read it again. Enjoy.