"it is hard to be a king, it is harder yet to become one." For a generation that has grown up with modern royalty, nothing more need be said.
Mark Helprin takes on the British royal family in his latest novel, a hilarious satire on Charles and Di, and the British royals in general. Don't expect Helprin's more ethereal books of the past -- in "Freddy and Fredericka," he just seems to be having fun.
The Prince and Princess of Wales are stuck in a loveless marriage: Freddy is stodgy, pompous, scholarly, and tends to embarrass himself. Fredericka is sexy, blonde, ditzy, and loves discos. She is adored by everyone, while he consoles himself with his longtime mistress. The media dislikes him for his "out-of-touchness," but she can do no wrong in their eyes. Ladylike Queen Phillippa considers Fredericka a massive threat to the throne.
But when Freddy ends up naked, tarred and feathered outside the palace, Phillipa decides that her son and daughter-in-law have embarrassed the royals once too often. She calls in the mysterious Mr. Neil, who sentences the bickering pair to conquer a rough new land: industrial New Jersey. Doing manual labor, parachuting, dealing with biker gangs and dental practices, Freddy and Fredericka begin to learn what real life is like -- and more about each other.
Everyone except the British royal family knows what they need -- a swift kick of reality. So it's pretty fun to see a story about Di and Charles clones having to live like commoners for awhile, and so losing their absurd pretensions. Too bad this never happened in real-life, or the British royal family might be in better shape.
It does tend to ramble on in the last quarter, and Helprin gets a bit too goofy with some of the names. Faintingchair? Okay, whatever. But Helprin's sense of humour is much sharper elsewhere: Parliament laughing over the "bosoms" tape, the "Fah Kew!" incident, and the duel with the bikers. Not to mention the hilarious duplicates of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip, either quietly ineffectual or rigidly disdainful.
But "Freddy and Fredericka" wouldn't be really good if it were all humour. As Freddy and Fredericka explore the U.S., even helping on a presidential campaign, they become a lot more likable and fun. It's touching to see the formerly un-loving couple begin to form genuine respect and liking for each other.
Helprin has abandoned his more ethereal style for a robust, undignified kind of writing. It's still detailed and witty, but he seems to have loosened up. The one exception is the note of magical realism, Mr. Neil. He's ten thousand years old, knows of every English king in history, and works in a sex toy factory. Only a writer as talented as Helprin could make such a character work.
We'll never know what would have happened if Di and Charles had been commanded to live incognito in New Jersey. But "Freddy and Fredericka" offers a hilarious, touching look at what might have happened if they ever had.