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Football My Arse [Illustrated] [Hardcover]

Ricky Tomlinson
3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)

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Book Description

19 Sep 2005

I have always collected football stories like other people collect stamps, and it's great to get this opportunity to stick them in a book'

From the bestselling author of RICKY comes this collection of hilarious anecdotes about football, with stories about the stars themselves, the fans, the girlfriends, the managers ... in fact every aspect of the beautiful - and occasionally ridiculous - game.

Recounted with Ricky Tomlinson's trademark wit, this is a bright and brilliantly entertaining collection that will delight football fans everywhere.

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 244 pages
  • Publisher: Time Warner; First British Edition edition (19 Sep 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316730610
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316730617
  • Product Dimensions: 13.6 x 2.2 x 20.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,030,581 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description


Rollocking collection of hilarious football anecdotes from the much-loved entertainer. (SAINSBURY'S MAGAZINE)

Book Description

* A hilarious book of football anecdotes from one of Britain's best-loved actors and comedians

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Very Funny Book 24 Jun 2006
By J. Chippindale TOP 500 REVIEWER
This is a very funny book of football anecdotes and for those of us of certain age brings back memories of certain players. In fact, some of the names go back even further than I do.

Ricky Tomlinson is the ideal man to compile this book. Certainly for me while reading the book I had this picture in my mind of Ricky with his heavy Liverpool accent telling these stories down at the local and having everyone in stitches.

Here are a couple of one liners from the book. There are hundreds of them:

Malcolm Allison: "Our 'keeper Joe Corrigan many be concussed, but it's difficult to tell with him as he always looks a bit dopey."

David Beckham: "My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven."

Many of the anecdotes are several pages long but there is also a good assortment of one liners, like those above. Gaffs from players, managers and commentators alike.

If you are a football fan, you can't help but love this one.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars He can write them but he can't tell them....... 21 Jan 2008
By tygris
Format:Audio CD
Unfortunately Ricky has made a serious error of judgement in narrating his own book - it just doesn't work.

The book itself is witty, full of enough anecdotes and one-liners to detract from the constant references to Liverpool FC, and Ricky himself is a very talented actor, and an excellent after-dinner speaker and raconteur.

But this does not translate to the smoothness of narration required for any audiobook - the audience is not able to see facial expressions and hand gestures whilst settling back after a Sports Dinner, but is more likely to be someone on a long journey, or maybe stuck in a traffic jam, or to have a sight problem which prohibits them from reading the book.

Ricky's delivery is stilted, the timing is out, and the overall impression is one of hearing a monologue delivered by someone reading one word at a time from an autocue moving at an intermittent pace. This is unfortunate, because a lot of the material has the potential to be very amusing, if only it was presented and delivered by someone with timing and voice variation.

The book is a buy, the CD audiobook is poor.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Football My Arse: 8 July 2006
Ricky Tomlinson is probably Famous as both the lazy father of the family in "The Royles" (Jim Royle) and as the last Manager to give a team Talk in the changing rooms at Wembley before it was knocked down and rebuilt. as Mike Bassett. Directly because of this, there are several references to the fictional England Manager in this book. Perhpas too many.

Nevertheless, This book contains some of the most amuzing and hilarious stories from "the beautiful game" itself, some of which have now surely gone down in football folklore. Not only are there crazy stories from these shores, but from overseas. Stories from deep in the game's past, and some of the more recent Howlers. (Peter Enckelman, anyone?)

Some of the witty remarks included also help the book in its comedic cause (Football my Arsene, and football my Farce Being two good examples)

This book is surely one of the most amuzing football books ever written, better than anything that has gone before it. Whilst on the subject, I recomend "David Seaman's Goalkeeping Nihgtmares" on DVD. Some of the things menioned in this book appear on the DVD.
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