- Paperback: 208 pages
- Publisher: Element (3 Feb 2003)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0007147678
- ISBN-13: 978-0007147670
- Product Dimensions: 21.5 x 16 x 1.5 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 735,155 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- See Complete Table of Contents
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More About the Author
Product Description
Product Description
A guide to perfecting your flirting skills, from Flirt Coach Peta Heskell. Use your communication skills to find the right relationship for you. Peta Heskell has refined flirting to a fine art -- a sexy, lighthearted art that makes communication fun and has the power transform your romantic relationships. Successful flirts draw people to them with ease and once they have got that special someone's attention, they rarely lose it! Peta insists that the key to successful relationships is being able to be yourself. She offers a straightforward programme to help anyone learn to be comfortable with being themselves. As she sees it, flirting can be the key to success in love, life and especially in the bedroom! Her system works by: Looking at the inside -- finding out what is really you, your belief system and reviving your innate skills of childlike curiosity, daring and intuition. Scrutinizing the outside -- learning how to understand people's signals and how to get your message across. How to 'glow', how to wield power and influence. Applying what you've learnt -- specific ways to apply the techniques to your relationship for lifelong love and happiness.
From the Author
I wrote this book because I sense a new awakening in the air about how we create and manage relationships. You might be yearning to find a relationship in the hopes that it will make your life better. Or you may be asking yourself 'why do I always end up in the same type of relationship?'. Perhaps you have a desire to form a different kind of relationship that seems to suit you but you are worried that people won’t approve or that what you want isn’t 'normal'.
My question to you is 'WHO DECIDES what’s right for you'? My answer is 'NOT your parents, religion, friends or society but YOU! As long as you are not hurting anyone else, you can be and do anything with your life.
Most of us have beliefs and attitudes about relationships that have nothing to do with what we truly want. More often they are ideas that have been programmed into us and that's what we THINK is right for us.
I'm not sure that the common ideal 'semi-detached suburban, 2.4 kids happily ever after' IS ideal. Have you thought how useful it might be to reconsider the very nature of our relationships in light of the continuing 'failure' of marriages.
Perhaps the time has come to create our own personalised relationships. Maybe some people have so much to do in becoming who they are that a permanentever-after relationship isn’t going to work at this stage in your life. Maybe right now you just need someone for right now.
Do you keep getting into the same kind of relationships and wonder how to break the cycle. I'm suggesting that we all follow patterns and take on archetypal roles that relate to where we are on our life's journey of self discovery.
Unconsciously we enter each relationship because we need to learn something. That is we need some information and experiences that help us grow into more of who we are. Ideally after each experience, we should learn the lesson and move on. But all of us are different and often we don’t listen to the message. If we continue to repeat the patterns, it’s just our unconscious minid making us go to the same class over and over until we get it and can e graduate to the next level of our development.
And if you’ve been led towards this book it's likely to be because you want some help in breaking the cycle and recognising what you need to learn so that you can move onwards and upwards.
My aim in writing this book is to help you to see, feel and hear clearly in your own mind how you currently relate and if it isn’t working for you, my aim is to help you formulate some ideas on what you really want and how to manifest that.
Here's how it works
I’ll be encouraging you to look at the way you’ve related intimately in the past and to learn from it. Even if your relationships have been hell, there’ll be something you can learn from them – if only not to go there again! Then you can start to attract relationships that are right for you.
Chapter 1 Your story
Discover how you have been affected by primitive genetic coding and years of programming and realise that you can with some help become once again the natural, alluring, magnetic, wonderfully perfect person you truly are.
Chapter 2 Intuitive Communication
If you are going to find the right relationship for you, you have to be able to first pick up and secondly know what YOUR intuitive signals are telling you. I’ll show you how to do this and and how to sharpen up your intuitive ability to sense signals from other people too – invaluable in any interaction!
Chapter 3 Recognizing your Personal Conditioning Patterns
In this section I’m going to pull aside the curtains and turn the spotlight on your personal beliefs about relationships and the patterns you repeat. As you gain more awareness about how you currently relate, you’ll be able to understand what’s stopping you from finding the love that’s right for you.
Chapter 4 Awakening your Natural Self
In this section you can work on dumping bits of old programming that don’t work, gaining a greater sense of who you really are, creating empowering beliefsand unleashing your natural sexuality. You’ll be getting ready for love.
Chapter 5 Loving, Clarifying and Connecting
Now that you are more in tune with who you are and what you really want, you are ready to relate more naturally to other people. Love is just round the corner for you In preparation for welcoming love into your life you’re going to learn how to love yourself and others in a very special way, clarify your beliefs about major topics that dominate relationships and connect more fully with people.
Chapter 6 Communicating, Creating and Building
In this part we we’re going to work on keeping and nurturing love. We take a look at how to use language and personal strategies to communicate more harmoniously with people and examine the attitudes and methods that, in my experience, are very effective in building and maintaining healthy relationships.
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Customer Reviews
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A Reflective and Enlighting book on improving relationships,
By
This review is from: The Flirt Coach's Guide to Finding the Love You Want: Communication Tips for Relationship Success (Paperback)
The book as my title suggest is based on the reader being prepared to reflect on their past relationships primarily the one with yourself. The book's overall theme is in order to love and have a successful realtionship with others is to be able to know and love yourself. This isn't a new concept but Peta has a way through the use of her particular language to get through to the reader. Peta argues that the vast majority of us have been programmed into believing that marriage and family life is the only way to happiness. From early childhood through our conditioning, we have been told that marriage is the ultimate form of happiness.This is so dangerously untrue, Peta has the courage to demolish the myth. Marriage isn't for every couple and with marriages breaking down at a rate of 1 in 3. Peta argues that eveyone needs to take stock of what is right for them. Often couples rush headlong into marriage and regret it in the long- term. Often causing severe emotional pain to themselves and often their children who are often accidental by-products of these unhappy relationships. To a great extent I found myself agreeing with what Peta says. The book meanders from self-improvement to sex. How to improve your sex life with yourself and with your partner if you have one. With a nice handy table to help you discover what you like/dislike and things that you'd like to try. Also little physical exercises included from Tantric Sex. Moving from sex the book goes onto really marriage guidance counselling - urging couples to improve their communication with one another. Peta urges tackle the problem together in a sensitive manner and spending time just listening to one another without interuption.And that our partners cannot be all things to us, and that we must discover other ways to fulfill some of our other needs. Also the book is dotted with little case studies to complement each of the particular sections. Also little tips on improving your sex life whether on your own or how to surprise your partner. And at the end with valuable resources to take you or both of you to new levels of understanding and enjoyment. It's a good book full of Peta Heskell's normal everyday banter, humour and genuniness for her readership. I would recommend that people start with Flirt Coach first as that is funnier and will if you participate in the exercises take you on a wonderful journey of self-discovery. You will gain most benefit from this book if you have completed Flirt Coach first.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A reflective and thoughtfully written sequel,
By
This review is from: The Flirt Coach's Guide to Finding the Love You Want: Communication Tips for Relationship Success (Paperback)
I was excited waiting to recieve this latest installment by Peta Heskell after reading her first book Flirt Coach.It's a different book from the first altough bits of this one are found in the first. The Guide to finding the Love you want is a book that needs time and energy dedicated to it and the willingness to reflect back on past relationships/situations and the willingness to ask yourself some very tough questions and willingness to change or drop bad programming that has become stuck. Peta says that we all have bits of bad programming that's become stuck. I certainly discovered some of mine after just reading a few chapters. But to fully gain the benefits of the book it's helpful to keep a diary or use a notebook to jot down ideas or suggestions.It also helps if you are prepared to do the exercises, as with all self-help books you do the work,you will get the rewards. I especially enjoyed reflecting back on my past relationships and learning important lessons for the future, and putting them into practice. Developing your own sexuality is one important area that many of us forget or neglect that Peta stresses is important for us to be happy within ourselves. And she has a double page spread on how to develop our own sexuallity. Before reading this book I would recommend reading Flirt Coach first as that is easier and more fun to read, this is really the next step up on the path to discovering who you are and what you want and need from life, it's a more laboured read but that's deliberate I feel as you need to take the lessons learned from Flirt Coach before moving onto this one. I also found the book useful as I work in mental health, but anyone with a interest professonally in therapy should also find the book very informative and useful in their own practices.
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