OK, here's the thing. I don't ask a lot from my books. Just to have a half decent story and be reasonably well written. I read (and quite enjoyed) the Twilight Saga for Pete's sake! That's why I wasn't exactly expecting a literary masterpiece from the 50 shades book, but I admit I'm a bit of a sheep and wanted to see what the hype was about.
I genuinely don't understand how anyone of average or above intelligence can see these books through! The repetativeness of it is actually shocking. If the constant oh my, whoa, or holy crap/cow/moses didn't have you wanting to tear out your own eyes I don't know what will.
Cocking heads. Think back to the last time you ever saw someone actually cock their head. Poor Christian must have whiplash the amount of times that guy cocks his head in a day! Moving on, calling each other by surnames. Who actually does that? Yes it might be comical to call the other half by their surname when being formal now and then but every day? Really? Go home tonight and start calling your partner by their surname and see how long it takes them to ask you why your being "weird".
Next, the sex. I admit I was looking forward to this bit having no experience of bdsm myself. For a book that is supposed to be about something so taboo, you would assume the author would figure that the audience would be over 10 years old and would therefore refrain from referring to Anas vagina as her "sex". I'm willingly reading a book about bdsm. I think I can handle the word vagina.
I get that Mr Grey is the hottest guy alive. I was told every page in the first book his eyes are smouldering gray (ah, and his name is Grey, look how that worked out!) But I don't care who you are, it is impossible to have earth shattering orgasms every time a certain man looks at you.
Oh the fullness! Whatever love.
Finally the sickeningly lovey love in the second book. I love you, I love you too, dont leave me, I won't leave you, you might leave me, well you might leave me, I'd die without you, well when we broke up (for 5 days ffs) I nearly did die, please don't leave me, I will never leave, you own my body and soul (because people actually say things like that) always, I love you always. I think I threw the book at the bus driver at this point.