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The Feng Shui Junkie [Paperback]

Brian Gallagher
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

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Book Description

7 Sep 2000
Julie and Ronan are the perfect married couple: with two incomes, and both personal and professional success, theirs is a lifestyle to envy. That is, until the day Julie comes home unexpectedly early from a week away to find a yellow wonderbra hanging from the doorknob. It seems that in the age-old style it has all gone terribly wrong - Ronan is having an affair. Fuelled by anger, despair and whiskey, Julie embarks on a campaign of detection. Revenge may not be sweet, but it is most definitely worth it . . .

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Product details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Orion; New edition edition (7 Sep 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0752837109
  • ISBN-13: 978-0752837109
  • Product Dimensions: 19.7 x 12.9 x 2.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 370,888 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Amazon Review

Julie Fitzgerald is a 20-something Dubliner, "a venerated legal professional in a power suit, with an MGF 1.8i convertible", a very nice apartment and a dentist husband named Ronan. But something's not quite right. When she declares she wants a baby, Ronan caringly packs her off to a health farm with her best friend Sylvana. But Julie returns early, unexpectedly, and finds Ronan lounging by their pool with an unknown blonde, whose lemon yellow Wonderbra (36D) is hanging from the inside knob of their hall door. "There is", as she notes, "a trollope in the air".

Rather than confronting the adulterous pair however (far too easy) Julie embarks on a brilliant campaign of destruction--smashing Ronan's porsche, moving in her mother, liberating Nicole (the blonde)'s fish and overturning her feng-shui-ful place, before--the final insult--"befriending" her. In fact Julie becomes, in her words, "A destroyer. An anarchist. A hooligan. An Antichrist. A savage. An ogre. A Goth. A hag. A terrorist, actually. And it's giving me this warm, happy glow inside."

As it will you. There's nothing quite as fulfilling as self-righteous destruction and Julie's commentary carries us through her emotional undulations with devastating comic timing. The Feng-Shui Junkie should be a whopping big hit, carried by the distinctive new voice of its female narrator. That female voice actually belongs to a man, barrister-turned-writer Brian Gallagher, and the plot's motivation, Julie's ticking biological clock, could be construed as ever-so-slightly gender stereotyping. But there's no doubting that this is a brilliantly sustained, massively confident, wonderfully readable debut and that readers will look forward to hearing from Gallagher again. --Alan Stewart

About the Author

Brian Gallagher was born in Stockholm, Sweden and lived all over Europe as a child, learning several languages. He studied Law and Philosophy at University College, Dublin, earning money by busking with a clarinet all over Europe. Trained as a barrister in The Four Courts, Dublin, Brian Gallagher is now a full-time writer, with ongoing involvement in film and music. He lives in Dublin.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
... you see, he thinks I'm touchy by nature, a bit moody, mercurial, cantankerous (is that spelt right?), unbalanced even... but I don't know. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
By D. Bent
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
As a Stephen King fan this book was way out there for me, to be honest is was a grey miserbable day when I saw this bright yellow book for sale, having read the back cover and feeling a small smile glance across my face I opened the front cover. I was still unaware that this had been written by man.

As I stepped into the first page I had no idea I was about to add a "chick lit" to my all time favourite reads.

Laugh, that is a total understatement and every time the hilarious retribution had me falling around like a cadbury smash robot my mind would pop up with the reminder, hey a bloke wrote this, poor guy must have suffered at the hand of a woman scorned, the intimate knowledge of how us women tick had to come from first hand experience.

Maybe this book should be released as a handbook for slighted women everywhere, if not then just buy it, read it, laugh and throughly enjoy every page turning moment.

I have bought this book over and over again as I keep lending it to everyone, it's the prefect holiday read, brilliant rainy day read, and even an uplifting gift for a mate who is down on her luck in the love life department.

If you don't believe me,buy it, read it and then correct me if you have not laughed out loud.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Unputdownable!! 4 Jan 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I received the book as a Christmas present from a friend who thought the synopsis was hilarious.
The book didn't disappoint, I couldn't put it down so much so that I read it within the space of one day.
Yes you feel for Julie and can visualise her pain and emotion. Yes you cringe at some of her actions.
Yes you hate Nicole and then begin to empathise with her.
Yes you're amazed (yet not surprised) at Ronan's betrayal.
And Yes you can't wait to reach the end of the book and find out what happens...
Can't wait to read the next book, hope it's as enthralling and exciting as the first.
And as for the friend that bought this for me, thanks mate, one of the best presents I got this year!!
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By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I picked this up at the airport for a holiday read purely because the cover caught my eye. It's an enjoyable read, made all the more so having been written by a man. Good insight! Very laugh out loud funny in parts too and Julie isn't a completely likeable character, she has her flaws just like the rest of us. Found myself egging her on more and more in the pursuit of revenge and the pasta sauce scene was hilarious! The relationship Julie has with her Mum and best friend is totally believable too. The suspense leading up to Julie finally confronting her husband and the 'trollop' is the backbone of the novel, but I did find the long-awaited showdown a bit of a let-down. That aside, it's well worth a read. I'll definitely buy Gallagher's 2nd novel.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Well thought out. 17 Jan 2001
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This was one of those books that I found very difficult to put down. It provided me with a very enjoyable read and many laughs! I'd recommend it to all those females who have been ratted on by males.
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1.0 out of 5 stars If you like animals, don't read this book 22 Nov 2000
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
The setting is sumptuous, the characters are educated and affluent professionals, the discovery of a lemon yellow bra comedic, and it all looks like a promising romp of a read.
But, then the main character, an otherwise sympathetic lawyer, goes off on a spree of destruction and violence that just tips way too far to be funny.
I have a couple of cats at home and was very upset when she left a cat in a carrier to die of heatstroke and then deals with its rotting corpse by stuffing it in a black plastic bag. She attempts several times to kill some tropical fish , succeeds with some, and then tosses them in a blender.
This is utterly dreadful. I couldn't bring myself to finish the book.
Maybe some people find this funny, but if you are as fond of your housepets as I am, it might be worthwhile to find something else to read over the hols.
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3.0 out of 5 stars this is one disillusioned author... 29 Oct 2000
Format:Hardcover
The book is actually quite good, I did laugh, I nearly cried and, for once, actually got whipped up by the suspense. I could hardly wait for the confrontation: the plot has certainly given me some new thoughts on revenge!!! The thing that troubles me is the complete lack of authenticity regarding the psyche of the characters. The author is so blatantly male, it worries me that there actually men out there that still think that women can't read a map...The characters are WAY too stereotypical... The dialogue between husband and wife and the relationship between husband and mother-in-law are straight out of really bad English t.v! Borrow this book one day and try to see past the points above.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Hell hath no fury ... and here's how! 18 Oct 2000
Format:Paperback
This is definitely a good read overall and I recommend it to any MAN who's thinking about cheating on his wife. I recommend it to any WOMAN who's suffering at the hands of an errant husband. I also recommend it to anyone who's been through a divorce and can't work out what hit them: maybe this book contains all of the answers?
Of course, what we read about the marital difficulties of this couple is biased since it's told from the point of view of only one party: the woman. Nevertheless, it's a well told story.
Two sentences leapt out me as I read this book: one early and one late:
On page two, we read "There is a trollop in the air." I liked the imagery of that! There's lots like this, too.
I liked the twist of how dumped wife and trollop got together and got along and how the story ended for them. I also liked the whole tone of the story and the plotting and scheming and the friendships. The addition of a live in mother and her own character traits added some vigour to an otherwise strong plot.
What did get in the way of things for me was the textual problems that included
"I lead the way over to the lift. The elevator doors open and I walk in"!; and
"'No', Mother confirms, taking a packet of chocolate Hobnobs from her shopping bag, cutting the top with a sharp knife and putting one in her mouth." ... what went in her mouth, biscuit or knife!
If you're into Feng Shui, this book has something as a bonus for you too: a few snippets of the Feng Shui art thrown around here and there.
I was interested in the mobile phone speak that was new to me: to input the phone and to punch out. Eek, didn't like them!
A story written by a man in which all bar one of the central characters are women: it's done well and I am glad I read this book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars I cannot believe the author is male!
I really enjoyed reading this book and had to keep reminding myself that the author was male! Brian Gallagher has a real insight into just what lengths females will often go to. Read more
Published on 14 Oct 2000
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing, lacklustre debut from Mr Gallagher
I picked this book up and was intrigued by the story line. We are all fascinated by the concept of love, particularly when it turns sour. This is the basis of the book. Read more
Published on 17 Aug 2000
5.0 out of 5 stars An amazingly thrilling read!
I absolutely adored this book! Congrats to Brian Gallagher! i liked the book so much that i intend writing my Response to Personal Reading (RPR) for my higher english course on... Read more
Published on 15 Aug 2000
5.0 out of 5 stars absolutely fabulous
i laughed and i cried. what an absolutely wonderful novel, a female perception from a man. i did however feel sorry for the fish and will never look at fish mousse in quite the... Read more
Published on 19 Mar 2000 by Chris Stewart-Young
3.0 out of 5 stars The 'Fung Shway' Junkie.
Yeah, very impressive. Brian Gallagher has taken not-so original idea of revenge on an adulterous husband and turned it into a very new and exciting tale of smash, bang wallop. Read more
Published on 10 Mar 2000 by andrewjfalvey@hotmail.com
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb - a must-read book,
This is an absolutely fantastic tale of revenge, friendship and, of course, feng-shui. It is a gallop through the roller-coaster of emotions experienced by a scorned wife and,... Read more
Published on 9 Mar 2000
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