Feet of Clay: Discworld, Book 19 (Unabridged) [Audio Download]

Someone is poisoning the Patrician, and Vimes is growing increasingly frustrated because he just can’t figure out HOW… And someone is murdering harmless old men. First, there is the old priest Father Tubelcek, who at least died with a glow in his eyes. And then there is the curator of the Dwarf Bread Museum, battered to death with one of his own exhibits. But, perhaps most disturbing of all, the golems – the solemn men of clay who aren’t really alive, work all day and all night and never harm a soul – have started to commit suicide…

And it’s not as if the Watch hasn’t got problems of its own …there’s something odd about the new dwarf recruit. There’s a werewolf suffering from pre-lunar-tension. And, having discovered that he is actually the Earl of Ankh, Corporal Nobby Nobbs is busy hob-nobbing with the nobs.

Vimes finds himself faced with the most puzzling case in Discworld history. There are Clues throwing themselves up all over the place, and they only cloud the issue. Plus, Sam is finding that, for all the answers lying about the place, he can’t for the life of him think of the question…

All the more ominous is the fact that the real truth may not really be out there at all, but that it might be in amongst the words in the head…

First, lets get one thing out of the way. It’s hilarious. But of course it is, it’s Terry Pratchett. There are some passages that have you chuckling to yourself, and there are others that strike you down helpless with a big belly-laugh. And then, (and these are my favourite) there are those that cause you to laugh jocularly, but then to take a step-back, awed, at the sheer TRUTH of what some of his humour illustrates to us, and the almost unbelievable cleverness of what he’s saying and the way he’s said it. The mirror he puts up to our own society enables us to laugh at it, to recognise it’s curiosities and, sometimes, its shocking flaws.

His plots are brilliant, and this one more-so than most. Like his other books, it’s a fantasy of the Discworld, but unlike his others, it’s also very much a crime/mystery story. And a darned ingenious one it is, too. I’ve not ever come across a more astoundingly clever way of poisoning someone in all the books I’ve read that normally fall into the crime/mystery genre. (And that is a LOT.) His characters are wonderfully well-drawn, and Sam Vimes is one of the most fascinating investigators of crime since Inspector Morse or John Rebus.

To be honest, any point in the series is a fine a place to begin (and make certain that you DO begin it. You’ll not regret doing so, believe me. Well, and his sales figures) as any other, but it may take you a couple of books to get used to the style. If you balk at anything other than reading a series through rom its beginning, then by all means do so. You’ll reap the rewards. But if you’re not all that bothered, try a couple from the beginning of the series – perhaps The Colour of Magic and Mort – and then read Feet of Clay.

Sam Vimes, who we first encountered in a sodden gutter, soddin' drunk, has risen to a
knight's rank and is now Commander of the City Watch. He maintains a careful balance
between being the Patrician's favourite and his nemesis. Vetinari knows he cannot truly
control Vimes. For all Sam's resistance to the Patrician's deviousness, Vetinari knows that he
cannot dispense with The Stoneface Policeman. Especially this time when its Vetinari himself
who is the victim of a murder plot. An unsuccessful one, as it happens.

Sam's entered the realm of matrimony, a step which elevates him almost more than the
promotions granted by the Patrician. Lady Sybil, however, remains at the periphery of Sam's
focus. He's still a copper and one of the biggest cases of all confronts him in this book. First,
foremost and throughout this book, Sam Vimes is tasked with guarding his own back. Vimes
is "a jumped-up copper to the nobs, and a nob to the rest", which gorges the ranks of his
enemies. His thwarting of an Assassin is pure Pratchett; pure Vimes, for that matter. One
can't help but wonder why Vetinari doesn't assign Vimes some bodyguards. Instead he gets a
sedan chair - which he "drives" himself.

There are murders in this book, unusual in Pratchett. Two deaths arouse the City's ire against
new Pratchett figures, the golems. Golems reach far into the depths of European history -
mindless, man-like creatures from the soil who can be put to any task. Created only to obey,
they are the perfect slave - rebellion isn't in their make-up. Except for their size, they are
nearly defenseless. The perfect suspect, ultimately vulnerable, who can be destroyed without
qualms of conscience. The situation is so clear-cut that Sam knows they can't be guilty. But
who is?

In his quest for justice, Sam is supported both in the plot and in the characters of his Watch
team. In this book, Angua reaches new levels of prominence, which brings Carrot forth in
new ways, as well. Describing their situation as a "relationship" gives the term a whole new
meaning. The Watch now has a forensic expert in the figure of a dwarf - Cheery Littlebottom.
It's not possible to dwell further here on this unique Watch specialist. You must read this
book to become acquainted with one of Pratchett's most engaging characters. Read further to
discover one of his most devious creations.

As with most of Pratchett's recent books, there's a sub-theme running beneath all the hilarity
and convoluted thinking. In this case, the issue is "freedom". This word has been bandied
about by so many writers in so many circumstances, it's hard to believe that Pratchett could
bring anything fresh to the discussion. As always, Pratchett is able to surprise and excel. His
discussion freedom's worth and what it takes to be achieved adds lustre to an already superb
story. Pratchett's ability to bring philosophical issues into what is still described as
"humorous fantasy" is a unique talent. We must keep buying and touting this finest of
purveyors of wisdom and wit.

Familliar faces from the Watch return, as well as one or two new ones. Cheery Littlebottom, the self-proclaimed female dwarf and forensic expert, is a delight to read about, and the return of my personal favourite Nobby Nobbs is, as ever, hillarious.

The main star of Feet Of Clay, however, is Sam Vimes. Magically transformed from gutter-dweller to duke, he provides much of the wit and humour Pratchett is notorious for, as well as solving the whodunnit of the story, the howdunnit, and what they dun (though, admittedly, not before the victim in question, Lord Vetinari).

This book is probably not the best for new Discworld readers, but experienced readers will love it.

And remember the main message of the book:

Slab: jus' say 'AarrgharrghpleeassennononoUGH'.