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"Simple yet profound reasoning"--The Independent
"Like the title says, just go for it"--Elle
"Reading this book was a revelation. It's a wonderful book for life."--Julie Walters
"Susan Jeffers' classic and actually very level-headed mega-bestseller."--The Guardian
"Packed with insights as to why we feel the way we do and tools to improve your coping mechanisms"--The Sun
"The queen of self-help"--Daily Express
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The books basic premise is, that your aim should not be to get rid of your fears. You should feel your fear, but not let it stop you from doing things you really want to do.
The book describes three levels of fear. The first level is the actual event that you fear - say losing you job. The second level is the deeper fear, triggered by the first level - eg. rejection (if being fired would make you feel rejected). Beneath that on the third level there's only one fear: The fear that you won't be able to cope. If you knew in advance that you could take it, there would be nothing to be afraid of. So all fear reduces to fear of not being able to cope.
This is interesting, because this means that the best way to handle your fear, isn't to make your life safer - it's to increase your abilities, or your faith in your abilities. The more you know you can handle, the less reason there is to fear.
This point is illustrated with several stories of people who have diminished their lives time and again, to keep safe. This doesn't reduce fear, quite the contrary, these people lived in perpetual fear. When some catastrophic event interfered with their reduced existence (say the death of a spouse), some of these people found that they were forced to reconnect with life, and that they could cope. And this reduced their fear.
The book also emphasizes positivity as a way to reduce fear. The book argues that you need to constantly train your positive thinking, or you'll revert to negative thinking.
There's also an excellent chapter on decision making, which argues that many of us see a decision making process mostly in the light of what we'll lose or risk in each alternative before us. To reduce the fear (or discomfort) of making a decision, we should realize that all options are good, and that no mater what we choose, it's still up to us to make it work.
The book contains many illustrative stories and exercises you can try yourself. I found it informative, entertaining and thought-provoking, and I recommend this book to anyone interested in the mechanisms that hold people back from growth and change.
The basic message Susan Jeffers is putting across is that the big fear underlying all the little fears we have is 'I won't be able to handle it if ... happens'. She gently explores fears, and encourages you to accept that fear is OK, perfectly normal, and despite the fear, you CAN handle it! So often our fears prevent us from moving on but we can overcome them and learn to listen to our 'Higher Self', rather than that nagging, criticising little voice most of us have as a constant companion.
I first read it 6 months ago, but this is the sort of book that you keep picking up as life throws things at you. I only have to find the chapter that goes with my current situation and I can find the strength to deal with it.
There is so much in this book that a review can scarcely do it justice - I chose to write this review because I would like others to get the benefit from the book that I did.
After reading 'Feel the Fear...' I also read another book by Susan Jeffers, 'End the Struggle and Dance with Life'. I would say that the two complement each other perfectly, and have definitely lead me to a substantial change in my attitude to life.
A few short months ago i took the steps needed to change my life for the better. Read more
So, I just read 10 or so pages and I quited. Read more
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