Fearless Sex: A Babe's Guide to Overcoming Your Romantic Obsessions and Getting the Sex Life You Deserve [Paperback]

Here is a book to make you re-think your assumptions about sex, love,

and yourself. The first third is about understanding how to balance

loving someone else and loving yourself -- no easy task, but the author

shows you how. She outlines patterns of reacting or "obsessing" that

contaminate our ability to approach our partners with clear boundaries,

both psychologically and sexually. She does a great job of walking us

through the task of holding ourselves steady and being caring but

self-possessed when the pressure is on. She is clearly rooting for us,

the reader, while giving us a new way of looking at ourselves. The

writing is polished, witty and lucid, spiced with juicy and relatable

stories.

The second two thirds of the book goes into more detail about sexuality

and sensuality -- from an eye-opening chapter on developing your

"erotic 7th sense" to one on fantasies that will leave you breathless,

to the best section on s/m I've ever read; one that helped me see that

what real people do or fantasize has no bearing on the skewed

depictions of kinky sex that the media or the right-wing likes to

exploit. There is a wealth of information here on getting and enhancing

pleasure, and the reader never feels judged for her choices or

pressured to adopt any particular standards except the ones that, as

the author says, "are derived from within."

The point seems to be to empower women by giving them a bounty of

information about making their sex lives and relationships thrive.

Along the way, the reader is likely to jettison a lot of negative ideas

about sexuality (as well as her own harsh inner voice) that are often

taken for granted in a culture that pays lip service to sexual freedom

on the one hand, and is scared to death of sexy, vibrant women on the

other (unless they're fictional characters on TV, of course!).

Even though this is a totally hip and enjoyable read, it is also a

serious, timely, and potentially life-changing book. What I love the

most is that this book is about US: that is, about women. It's all

about what we think and feel and what we need and how to get it -

rather than about men, and what they think and feel and need. Enough

of that, already!

This book is terrific and I highly recommend it. It goes beyond its stated goal of helping you achieve the sex life you want. It's really about overcoming any number of self-esteem issues that you can undertake on your own to become a more authentic, self-actualized person -- which, naturally, will also put you in closer touch with your erotic center. It's clearly one of the wisest, most responsible and intelligent self-help books I've ever read. And, believe it or not, I think any guy with self-esteem, sexuality or authenticity issues can learn from it also.

I totally loved this book. It was a breath of fresh air among so many books on sex that say basically the same thing, or repeat the same bedroom advice in different words. I read Fearless Sex because I heard the author on the radio being interviewed about why so many women lose interest in sex after they've been in relationships or married for a while. She talked about what we can do to get more pleasure and satisfaction for ourselves and her message resonated strongly for me. Reading the book was an eye-opener beyond anything I even expected, and the advice has already made a huge difference in my relationship.