Fatherless Daughters: Turning the Pain of Loss Into the Power of Forgiveness [Hardcover]

I read this book in order to understand the emotional aspects that a child goes through when she loses her father through his choice to abandon and also the way the father feels when choosing to desert his children for valid reasons. I was also curious about the effects of suicide that occur in a family (most particularly to a daughter) when a father takes his life. This book has enlightened me and given a greater understanding of the issues that often occur and why. It has also assured me that what we have experienced is quite the norm rather than the unusual that takes place among many. I am sharing valuable parts of the book that inspired me and has given me tremendous insight.


It is true that women whose fathers abandoned the family almost always spend years-if not their whole life-wondering if Daddy will return, and later, when they are adults, if he will finally seek a relationship with them. It is also true that fathers who desert their families rarely return; indeed, among women I interviewed, none of the fathers who had abandoned their families came back. Nevertheless, because he is alive, the hope that he might return to her remains burning inside a fatherless daugther, and indeed this can be very problematic.

With suicide, the father chooses to cut himself off with utter finality. In a sense, suicide is the ultimate rejection. Suicide also engenders feelings of guilt, shame, and denial, with denial, not surprisingly, appearing to be the most prevalent.

If a father deserted the family, very often the mother will at best banish all evidence of him from the home, and, at worst, will speak negatively of him and his family. If the father maintains some connection with his daughter, she will most likely have a rather detached, uncertain attitude toward him.

A parent disappearing during teenage years can leave the child with strong feelings of things left unsaid or undone. This ongoing struggle between a father and daughter that is left unresolved upon the death of the father leaves the daughter racked with guilt about not listening to her dad, about things she said, and about not spending more time with him when he was present.

An abandoned wife may be extremely negative about her ex-husband and these negative feelings often hang on for years. Very often, she will speak disparingly of him.

The book gives instruction and wisdom, providing healing and understanding of what takes place and how to move past it and find peace. Information in the book changed my mind and thoughts. It has given me a healthier respect for my husband, into his insight and his wisdom. Recent actions and behavior has given him the incentive to change the things he originally procrastinated on, I am proud! I was confused by his approach before but the information in the book has made it so clear. An excellent wealth of information.

I could not put this book down. It was refreshing to finally hear stories similar to mine. This book brought many of my emotions to the surface! I feel like giving it to some of the people in my life so that they can better understand me. After reading this I now better understand myself and why I do things. My only disappointment with the book was that there was not enough about moving on and forgiveness. Still, it was a starting point. I recommend this book to anyone that is a fatherless daughter and also anyone that has a fatherlesss daughter in their life, you will learn a lot.

This beautifully written book illuminates the powerful dynamic between any father and daughter from the perspective of its loss. Readers will gain insights into their own and others growth and development from the author's unique perspective on the challenges we all face on the road to maturity.

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