- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: Piatkus Books (28 Sep 1995)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0749915218
- ISBN-13: 978-0749915216
- Product Dimensions: 23 x 15.4 x 2.6 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 633,974 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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More About the Author
Product Description
Product Description
This work examines the family's mysterious power to affect our lives. The book explains how secrets are created, how they influence us, and the risks and benefits of exploring them. With the aid of a genogram, the book provides us with a step-by-step guide to uncovering the secrets of the past and present. There are many case studies which illustrate how we can recognize crucial gaps and silences, reconstruct missing information and decipher partial memories. The book provides advice on how to deal with the truths revealed and shows us ways to stay safely and honestly connected with our families.
Inside This Book
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Startling!,
By A Customer
This review is from: Family Secrets: What You Don't Know Can Hurt You (Paperback)
Admittedly a huge fan of Mr Bradshaw, I found this book paved the way for a huge step forward in my own development. Doing the exercises was pretty uncomfortable (who really wants to open the family's skeleton cupboard?) but - as often happens - my family mysteriously started offering fresh insights, without any prompting from me! Our instincts generally tell us if family holds the key to missed cues in our own behaviour. For anyone who feels ready to investigate, I recommend this book most enthusiastically .
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Family Secrets: What You Don't Know Can Hurt You,
By Steve C "Steve C" (London, Engalnd) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Family Secrets: What You Don't Know Can Hurt You (Paperback)
I'm a professional counsellor and frequently recommend this title to clients. And interestingly, my counselling colleagues often borrow it and it can take a while to get it back!
A readable summary of Family Systems Theory and John Bradshaw's own invaluable personal history all make the first half of the book alone hugely valuable for anyone that has a family or comes from one... The help in constructing your own genogram will be useful to many but not necessarily all. A good book to read after or before this by the same author is [...].
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
4.7 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews) 15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Get Answers to Questions That You Didn't Know You Had,
By Carmen Matthews "The Serene Samurai" - Published on Amazon.com
I first read this book, June 1995, while sitting at the beach, far away from a store, and one month before I was to host a family-reunion.My mind was searching for a way to be who I decide I am, while I do my best to respect each of my family members - a tall order, at best. Usually, while I am reading a book, be that fiction or non-fiction, I have paper to write notes into. But I didn't have them, at this time. One chapter into reading this wonderful book, I had to leave the beach, to buy a notebook, because there are so many powerful tools in this book, ones which I absolutely had to capture in my own written words, as the thoughts and emotions rose up. And once I finished reading this book, and reviewed my notes, I was still amazed at how much more I knew about each of my family members, particularly the one family member who until then I wondered if he even had emotions. You cannot passively read a book like this, and expect to heal what ails you. You must partner with John Bradshaw, to understand who you are, through who you have and may still be surrounded by. I had one challenge, in reading this book: John Bradshaw advises readers to ask relatives about facts about other relatives. In some families, communication is so toxic that no one will tell the truth. And when this is the case, in your family, as you ask yourself the questions, look around you, and expect to find the answer, through holding the question close to your soul. Also, if you haven't read a book like this, and done extensive work, prior, you could look around you, and see who in your life is a mirror of your family members. This will speak volumes to you. Reading this book, prior to hosting my family reunion was so cathartic that my mantra became, "I don't care how many actually show up. I'll do my part to encourage those who do show up to feel welcome." What I noticed, and continue to notice, as a result of having read this wonderful book, is that no matter where we come from, we can use that past to claim our voice. And doing this does require us to admit, over and over again, what was, and what we desire. For those who believe that looking back in the past is blaming those from the past; dangerous; or, is a risk of being trapped by the past, I must say that having studied my past, I am free to look at my notes and see that what I was really doing was accepting who and where I was then. It is in accepting our deepest pains that we automatically enhanced who we are. Read this book to use your past to catapult yourself into your true self. 13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Understanding how you got to be who you are,
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Reading Family Secrets allowed me to understand my family and myself at a deeper level. While reading the book, I often burst into tears of healing and compassion for myself and those in my family of origin. It allowed me to give myself a break about some of the things I've done and things I thought, realizing that I got those beliefs unconsciously from my family. It is a must read for anyone looking to truly understand their family and love themselves.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Shows you the importance of tracing patterns and behaviours,
By Tanya Paulsen - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Family Secrets: What You Don't Know Can Hurt You (Paperback)
John Bradshaw really gets you curious about your family history. I found out more about my family background in a month than I had my whole life. He shows you the importance of tracing patterns and behaviours back through generations so you can become aware of your own tendencies and avoid repeating previous generational issues. Truly fascinating!
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