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F**k You, Penguin (Humour) [Hardcover]

Matthew Gasteier
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Book Description

29 Oct 2009 Humour

Penguins. One of the biggest beneficiaries of the Cute Industrial Complex, these waddling piles of adorable blubber have had a free ride for too long.

F U, Penguin is about telling these brazen cute-mongers that they can't stay on top forever. They may think they have the world in the palm of their wing, but we can and will resist their powers.

In recent years, people of all walks of life have been forced to confront animal cuteness wherever they go: in blockbuster films, on computer desktops and, as pets everywhere have become more and more emboldened, in their own homes. F U, Penguin is a cry for sanity in these mad times, when cute animals are no longer relegated to the seedy cultural belly of inspirational posters.

But this campaign is not just about penguins, it's about every animal that thinks we don't know what they're trying to do to us. If we don't do something about this epidemic right now, we could be tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle nursing baby pandas forever. And, really, can you think of anything more terrifying than that?

Okay, so maybe cute animals aren't that bad. But sometimes they seem that way, don't they?

The book will be a simple translation of the blog, with lots of new material, including a full section on penguins. Loaded with black and white photographs, colour illustrations and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud. It will also be packaged with the utmost style and attention to detail, making it the perfect gift this Christmas.

It's hard to describe what's so funny about a verbal assault on impossibly cute animals, but something is!

You can find the blog at

Product details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins (29 Oct 2009)
  • Language: Unknown
  • ISBN-10: 0007325517
  • ISBN-13: 978-0007325511
  • Product Dimensions: 16.2 x 15.8 x 2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 357,297 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Product Description


Reviews of the F U, Penguin blog:

'The internet is overrun with pictures of impossibly cute fluffy animals…Here, however, the same level of snarky vitriol usually aimed at dumb celebrities is targeted at the animal kingdom, exposing swans as nature's Porsche drivers, labelling polar bears as elitist and ponies desperate for attention.'

'We think the blog F U, Penguin is one of the best things we've seen all year.'

'A blog where insults cute animals. I don't get it but I find it funny.'
Random person on a forum

'Half the internets are taken up with photos and videos of the CUTEST. ANIMALS. EVER. F U, Penguin takes a long, hard look at superadorable puppies, monkeys, sloths and moose - and tells them, in no uncertain terms, to get fucked. Needless to say, it's out new favourite website.'
Very Short List

'F U, Penguin is a hilarious answer to the cute overload that is currently sweeping the internet.'

‘Cuddly animals get their comeuppance.’
Associated Press

‘[The blog] is the ultimate antidote to puppycams.’
Wired magazine

‘A field guide to some of the worst culprits of cuddle-swindling, and a damn good read.’

‘Overall, F U, Penguin is an enjoyable irreverent jaunt through the animal kingdom. While perhaps not quite as funny as John Audubon’s satirical masterwork, The Birds of America, Gasteier’s work will have you begging for more. Highly recommended.’
A Penguin

‘Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people… well, more people, anyway.’
Jerry the Shark

‘Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices.’
Dennis the Krill

‘It's all true. We're the worst.’
Anonymous Penguin

‘The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion.’
Edward the Dolphin

About the Author

Perhaps surprisingly, the author created the blog - F U, Penguin - because he loves penguins. In fact, he simply can't get enough of penguins, or other cute animals for that matter.

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read! 4 April 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
It's a well written fusion of irony, wit and humour!
With added little fun facts along the way, perfect for after a long day.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Some things are funny for no apparent reason. A collection of cutsie-pie pets and arse ugly animals is flayed with a full bore vitriol that is a pleasure to read. The especially disgusting creatures are treated to profane displays of outrage that they exist at all. Excellent.

The perfect antidote for those cloying, isn't-Mr-Snuggles-adorable-when-he's-dressed-like-Churchill websites.

Sherlock Holmes and the Underpants of Death
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