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Exponential Apocalypse [Kindle Edition]

Eirik Gumeny
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Book Description

There had been twenty-two apocalypses to date. There were now four distinct variations of humanity roaming the earth - six, if you counted the undead.

It had been suggested that there really should have been a new word to describe "the end of everything forever," but most people had stopped noticing, much less caring, after the tally hit double digits. Not to mention the failure of "forever" in living up to its potential.

The last apocalypse wasn't even considered a cataclysm by most major governments.

It was just a Thursday.

Exponential Apocalypse
is the tender, heart-stirring tale of crappy jobs, a slacker cult, an alcoholic Aztec god, reconstituted world leaders, werewolves, robots, and the shenanigans of multiple persons living after the twentieth-aught end of the world. Fast-paced, frenetic, funny, and frequently fond of other f-words, Exponential Apocalypse is the only book that will have you looking forward to the end of the world.

Product Description

About the Author

Eirik Gumeny is over six feet tall and enjoys sugar. Originally from the highway-choked suburbs of New Jersey, he is now living in the mile-high desert of New Mexico. Eirik is the founding editor of Jersey Devil Press, author of the Exponential Apocalypse series, co-author of Screw the Universe, and a folder of origami cranes. His short fiction has been published in a number of journals and anthologies, including Thieves Jargon, Beat to a Pulp, and Monkeybicycle. More information and a full list of publications can be found at Follow him on Twitter @egumeny.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 4926 KB
  • Print Length: 200 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Jersey Devil Press; 3 edition (1 Jan. 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #379,676 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A demented masterpiece 17 Jan. 2011
By Keeler
Format:Kindle Edition
One of the funniest things i have ever read.

Multiple apocalypses. Science has defeated religion so now useless Gods live on earth. Thor works in a motel. Clones of the worlds greatest leaders share a house. The Hobo state (made up of the homeless, stoners and philosophy majors)starts annexing parts of America.

Zombies,Robots,the evil lollipop guild,cults and the lone surviving intern of crazy scientists all cross paths.

Will the 23rd apocalypse actually end the world. Will anyone notice.

The only bad thing about this book is that it ends.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant 7 Jan. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Very funny book, doesn't take itself too seriously at all and provides a laugh every 100 words (at least). Very off the wall kind of humour that I think most Brits would love - was actually surprised to find out that the author was from New Jersey.

Definitely recommend.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.2 out of 5 stars  38 reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Apocalypse Now and Then 31 Aug. 2010
By Alexander Austin - Published on
Exponential Apocalypse
There isn't much in pop culture that Eirik Gumeny doesn't send up in his funny and clever Exponential Apocalypse. The premise of the novel is that earth has experienced twenty-two Apocalypses already and is going for a twenty-third. The previous apocalypses, which promised to end our little sphere forever, but fell short, have left the planet populated by mutants, displaced gods (Thor, Quetzacoatl), clones of Chester A. Arthur and Queen Victoria, legions of undead and cagey robots. As the twenty-third apocalypse unfolds, and we follow the misadventures of his characters, Gumeny provides hilarious capsule histories of humanity's dim and doomed efforts to find opportunity in total calamity. The social satire brings to mind Vonnegut, T. C. Boyle and the Marx Brothers, not to mention the Three Stooges. Hipster talk bangs into technological jargon and the author's lexical shifts can give you whiplash: "My apologies to our janitor and your vaginas, gentlemen," says Quetzalcoatl. Figuring in the plot will be Daniel Boone's ghost, a knife attack by the Lollipop kids, and Burt Reynold's mustache. Gumeny is shameless with puns and jokes. In his explanation of why the days are suddenly shorter, Willian H. Taft XLII notes that "the sun's been all out whack since Mars fell into it. "It goes down more time in a day than a two dollar prostitute with bad ankles and an inner ear problem." Recommended for anyone who takes their apocalypses and zombies seriously, and anyone who doesn't.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amusingly random and quirky book 11 Jun. 2010
By Pwnderella - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Intelligent writing + Absurd Premise = A wonderfully and hilariously satisfying book. Consider it a light reading, coffee table kind of book. This should be the next show on Adult Swim.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Genius Disguised, But We Can See Under It's Skirt 6 Jan. 2011
By A Christy - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
It is books like this that make me glad I recently gave up and got a Kindle 3. Such a treasure and I would never have known. Eirik Gumeny takes a light and twisted look at the post-apocalyptic genre that is too much fun to be ignored.

In his afterword, he readily admits that the story may have been the result of too much caffeine, possible drugs (no word on whether or not they were illicit) and other assorted bad habits, but in truth it is pure genius.

The story unfolds as the 23rd apocalypse is shaping up for an appearance. The 22 previous ones were quite bad, but didn't so much end things as change them. Change as in making the sun no longer very reliable (after all, Mars falling into it is bound to have some effect) or making New Jersey the last really safe place in the former United States. Even better, there are clones of former leaders who can seriously kick buttocks (Taft with a rocket launcher anyone?). Throw in an enhanced and telepathic squirrel with cajones made of pure brass, murderous robots and the slightly more dangerous murder drones, fallen gods with alcohol problems and toilet issues and a few humans with no discerible differences from other humans and you have this book. Oh, yes, don't forget the army of useless liberal arts majors who wrest states from the former United States and create the Hobo Nation.

Warning: There will be puns. But they aren't bad ones and you'll likely laugh out loud and embarrass yourself in public just a wee bit.

This was a quick read not because it is so short, but because it flows so well and absorbs nicely. I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend it. Like others have noted and like the author himself admits, it is clear that the writer is much influenced by Douglas Adams and other slightly off writers. But this isn't a trite rip-off of that style, but rather the first offering of an entirely new style that has some common elements with those other writers. I certainly hope I'll see more from this author.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absurd to the point of being Profound... 28 Sept. 2010
By Daimion - Published on
Eirik Gumeny writes with a sharp sarcasm and wit that I love. The entire book is absurd to the point of being profound. One of the reasons that it works so well is that it makes no apologies for its absurdity. It would have been easy for the author to give the reader a small wink at some point - permission to say - "This story is insane, but that's okay - because I know it's insane." Instead, he plows ahead with no apologies and no pretense; no peek behind the curtain or reveal of the trick. What you get is the world of "Exponential Apocalypse" in all its glory.

I thoroughly enjoyed "Exponential Apocalypse". I racked my brain to come up with an intelligent, insightful explanation for why it's a great book that you should read. I could say that "It was funny, sarcastic, and very well written", but that sounded too trite. I could talk about its "genius in deconstructing the apocalypse novel genre and using humor to explore the inherent struggle between religion and technology in the modern world", but that sounded too pretentious. Instead, I decided to just pull a quote from the story -

"The president, the philosopher, and the scientists left the other president, the queen, the god, and the girl, and walked towards the encroaching horde of liberal arts majors and drug dealers."

Any book that can pull off that sentence as one of the more sedate moments in the story is worth reading.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Exponential Apocalypse 21 Aug. 2010
By RandiTS - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Absolutely loved this book! If you are looking for a fun lighthearted read, this is one for your collection. Warning: Can be hazardous to your health!! Don't eat or drink while reading this book - some of the lines caused me to laugh out loud and I actually snorted diet coke out of my noise and onto my computer at one point... The characters are really well written and, hate to use the word since someone else already had, quirky. I recommend this book to anyone with a sense of humor
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