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I will begin by saying that I am a straight woman, not a gay man. But in this book I found so much to give me pause for thought, so many moments when I found myself nodding, and saying, "yes, yes, I needed to hear that". It's a wonderful book, full of wisdom and compassion, humility and humour, with messages for anyone who has an open heart and an open mind - messages of hope, of encouragement and of comradeship. Because strangely, that's what I really found in Jeremy's words - a deep sense of comradeship. As someone who has struggled, much less effectively than Jeremy, to find a way to try to live out what I believe was Christ's message, and to try to understand what is, to me, the huge discrepancy between the heart of that message, and, all too often, the teachings of a church dominated by bigotry and arrogance, Jeremy's story gave me hope, inspiration and encouragement. I'd recommend it to anyone. --wren "kt7oz" (Melbourne, Australia)<br /><br />8 o 8 of 9 people found the following review helpful: An excellent, well written book that needs to be read!, 1 Aug 2008 By Mr. T. P. Cannon - See all my reviews "Exchanging the truth of God for a lie", by Jeremy Marks In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result. To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading. Tim Cannon. 7 of 8 people found the following review helpful: What a book!, 12 Aug 2008 By Mr. Keith C. Ineson (Cheshire, England) - See all my reviews What a book. This is a book that has needed writing for a long time. It has been written with integrity, compassion, spirituality and with the brain firmly in gear. I am sure that I will read it again and again. Long may Jeremy's ministry continue to grow and to provide hope for those who have been marginalised for so long. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews I was greatly moved by this book, and by Jeremy Marks' integrity. Marks raises important questions about attitudes to homosexuality, and the damage done when people are dishonest to themsleves about who they are. Reading it has moved me a lot closer to accepting the need for the Church to acknowledge committed faithful relationships of different sorts. It has also helped me rethink aspects of my own faith. Marks' change of heart came through his struggles to keep seeking God when God seemed not to bless what Marks had thought he had wanted him to do. But whilst his opinions about God's will changed dramatically, he did not lose his faith or his commitment to scripture. Hearing his experiences mi --Tim Cannon.
8 o 8 of 9 people found the following review helpful: An excellent, well written book that needs to be read!, 1 Aug 2008 By Mr. T. P. Cannon - See all my reviews "Exchanging the truth of God for a lie", by Jeremy Marks In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result. To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading. Tim Cannon. 7 of 8 people found the following review helpful: What a book!, 12 Aug 2008 By Mr. Keith C. Ineson (Cheshire, England) - See all my reviews What a book. This is a book that has needed writing for a long time. It has been written with integrity, compassion, spirituality and with the brain firmly in gear. I am sure that I will read it again and again. Long may Jeremy's ministry continue to grow and to provide hope for those who have been marginalised for so long. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews I was greatly moved by this book, and by Jeremy Marks' integrity. Marks raises important questions about attitudes to homosexuality, and the damage done when people are dishonest to themsleves about who they are. Reading it has moved me a lot closer to accepting the need for the Church to acknowledge committed faithful relationships of different sorts. It has also helped me rethink aspects of my own faith. Marks' change of heart came through his struggles to keep seeking God when God seemed not to bless what Marks had thought he had wanted him to do. But whilst his opinions about God's will changed dramatically, he did not lose his faith or his commitment to scripture. Hearing his experiences might help many Christians who need greater confidence of finding God in, and learning from, that which in human terms is not successful. Jeremy Marks (and his wife, Bren) have been very generous in sharing their story in this way. I hope it will make a difference to many who struggle in and with their faith. I hope it might also make a difference to the way we welcome all sorts of people into the Church. --Ms. J. H. Clare (England)
In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result. To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading. --Tim Cannon.
8 o 8 of 9 people found the following review helpful: An excellent, well written book that needs to be read!, 1 Aug 2008 By Mr. T. P. Cannon - See all my reviews "Exchanging the truth of God for a lie", by Jeremy Marks In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result. To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading. Tim Cannon. 7 of 8 people found the following review helpful: What a book!, 12 Aug 2008 By Mr. Keith C. Ineson (Cheshire, England) - See all my reviews What a book. This is a book that has needed writing for a long time. It has been written with integrity, compassion, spirituality and with the brain firmly in gear. I am sure that I will read it again and again. Long may Jeremy's ministry continue to grow and to provide hope for those who have been marginalised for so long. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews I was greatly moved by this book, and by Jeremy Marks' integrity. Marks raises important questions about attitudes to homosexuality, and the damage done when people are dishonest to themsleves about who they are. Reading it has moved me a lot closer to accepting the need for the Church to acknowledge committed faithful relationships of different sorts. It has also helped me rethink aspects of my own faith. Marks' change of heart came through his struggles to keep seeking God when God seemed not to bless what Marks had thought he had wanted him to do. But whilst his opinions about God's will changed dramatically, he did not lose his faith or his commitment to scripture. Hearing his experiences might help many Christians who need greater confidence of finding God in, and learning from, that which in human terms is not successful. Jeremy Marks (and his wife, Bren) have been very generous in sharing their story in this way. I hope it will make a difference to many who struggle in and with their faith. I hope it might also make a difference to the way we welcome all sorts of people into the Church. --Ms. J. H. Clare (England)
In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result. To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading. --Tim Cannon.
Product Description
One man's spiritual journey to find the truth about homosexuality and same-sex partnerships. Foreword by Roy Clements Afterword by Rev. David Tomlinson
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
"Exchanging the truth of God for a lie", by Jeremy Marks
In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result.
To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading.
Tim Cannon.
In this book Jeremy relates his own journey through 20 years of ministry with Courage (UK), a group he founded in February 1988 to offer support for people who experience a conflict between their faith and their sexuality. Initially Courage (UK)'s ministry was based on the theory that a change in sexual orientation could be achieved through prayer and fellowship. Alternatively, acceptance of lifelong celibacy might result. However, Jeremy soon became struck by the failure of this ministry (and others like it) to produce any long-term results that really stood up to scrutiny. Worse, psychological harm or other damaging effects could result.
To continue with integrity Jeremy decided he had to change the direction of Courage (UK) to become an affirming ministry supporting people as they are rather than trying to change them. (This controversial decision in 2001 meant the withdrawal of much funding support from evangelical sources.) Jeremy relates with sincerity how he arrived at that conclusion. This is a book written by a man very much on the 'front lines' of this area of ministry, and his words portray not only sensitivity and compassion, but also a great love for the Gospel. Rather than attempt to put down the ministries of others, he always shows respect and Christian love for those who do not agree with him. Whatever your own views on this subject might happen to be, this is a book that is well worth reading.
Tim Cannon.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Having been interested for years in the psychology of fraud and self-deception, I have long been fascinated by the "ex-gay" movement. Most of the books dealing with the vicissitudes and failures of "ex-gay" ministries have been American, so it's good to find one written from a British perspective by the founder and director of what was, before its change of direction, just such a ministry. Jeremy Marks's testimony is all the more convincing, coming as it does from one who was once a true believer in the "ex-gay" delusion, but who had finally had to face the fact that attempts to change people's sexual orientation were ineffective at best, and at worst did immense spiritual and psychological damage, which he describes extensively in this book.
Another reviewer describes Marks as being "disappointed in not getting the level of healing he expected." So what level of "healing" DID he get that made him so disappointed? Well, after fourteen years of striving, not only had Marks failed to change his own sexual orientation, but, to quote his own words at the time that he made public the fact that he had ceased to be a believer in "ex-gay" ministry, "none of the people we've counselled have converted [to heterosexuality] no matter how much effort and prayer they've put into it." How very unreasonable of him to conclude from this disappointing level of "healing" that the "ex-gay" process doesn't work! If he had been expecting to have the effectiveness of "ex-gay" ministry confirmed by discovering at least SOME clients of his ministry whose orientation had changed, then clearly he must have been setting his standards of evidence far too high!
This book is an excellent one to put into the hands of people who are considering pursuing the "ex-gay" ignis fatuus: it may save them from wasting precious years of their lives vainly fighting against their natural sexual orientation when they ought to be coming to terms with it. As Wayne Besen so sagely responded to a would-be "ex-gay" who was lamenting that his sexual orientation still hadn't changed: "Life is short. Every day you waste on the ex-gay myth you will never get back. Every dollar [pound, euro etc.] you throw down the ex-gay drain you will never recover." Homosexuality is not an illness, disease or disorder and does not need correcting.
Another reviewer describes Marks as being "disappointed in not getting the level of healing he expected." So what level of "healing" DID he get that made him so disappointed? Well, after fourteen years of striving, not only had Marks failed to change his own sexual orientation, but, to quote his own words at the time that he made public the fact that he had ceased to be a believer in "ex-gay" ministry, "none of the people we've counselled have converted [to heterosexuality] no matter how much effort and prayer they've put into it." How very unreasonable of him to conclude from this disappointing level of "healing" that the "ex-gay" process doesn't work! If he had been expecting to have the effectiveness of "ex-gay" ministry confirmed by discovering at least SOME clients of his ministry whose orientation had changed, then clearly he must have been setting his standards of evidence far too high!
This book is an excellent one to put into the hands of people who are considering pursuing the "ex-gay" ignis fatuus: it may save them from wasting precious years of their lives vainly fighting against their natural sexual orientation when they ought to be coming to terms with it. As Wayne Besen so sagely responded to a would-be "ex-gay" who was lamenting that his sexual orientation still hadn't changed: "Life is short. Every day you waste on the ex-gay myth you will never get back. Every dollar [pound, euro etc.] you throw down the ex-gay drain you will never recover." Homosexuality is not an illness, disease or disorder and does not need correcting.
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I was greatly moved by this book, and by Jeremy Marks' integrity.
Marks raises important questions about attitudes to homosexuality, and the damage done when people are dishonest to themsleves about who they are. Reading it has moved me a lot closer to accepting the need for the Church to acknowledge committed faithful relationships of different sorts.
It has also helped me rethink aspects of my own faith. Marks' change of heart came through his struggles to keep seeking God when God seemed not to bless what Marks had thought he had wanted him to do. But whilst his opinions about God's will changed dramatically, he did not lose his faith or his commitment to scripture. Hearing his experiences might help many Christians who need greater confidence of finding God in, and learning from, that which in human terms is not successful.
Jeremy Marks (and his wife, Bren) have been very generous in sharing their story in this way. I hope it will make a difference to many who struggle in and with their faith. I hope it might also make a difference to the way we welcome all sorts of people into the Church.
Marks raises important questions about attitudes to homosexuality, and the damage done when people are dishonest to themsleves about who they are. Reading it has moved me a lot closer to accepting the need for the Church to acknowledge committed faithful relationships of different sorts.
It has also helped me rethink aspects of my own faith. Marks' change of heart came through his struggles to keep seeking God when God seemed not to bless what Marks had thought he had wanted him to do. But whilst his opinions about God's will changed dramatically, he did not lose his faith or his commitment to scripture. Hearing his experiences might help many Christians who need greater confidence of finding God in, and learning from, that which in human terms is not successful.
Jeremy Marks (and his wife, Bren) have been very generous in sharing their story in this way. I hope it will make a difference to many who struggle in and with their faith. I hope it might also make a difference to the way we welcome all sorts of people into the Church.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
An apt title - from truth to lie.
In this book Marks shows how he abandoned Scripture for a politically correct lie. Disappointed in not getting the level of healing he expected, and abandoning those who he helped... Read more
Published on 27 Oct 2009 by Mr. Phelim Mcintyre
Not just for gay men
I will begin by saying that I am a straight woman, not a gay man.
But in this book I found so much to give me pause for thought, so many moments when I found myself... Read more
But in this book I found so much to give me pause for thought, so many moments when I found myself... Read more
Published on 13 Jun 2009 by Wendy
What a book!
What a book. This is a book that has needed writing for a long time. It has been written with integrity, compassion, spirituality and with the brain firmly in gear. Read more
Published on 12 Aug 2008 by Mr. Keith C. Ineson
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