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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
By Ap Sanders
Format:Paperback
This book is simply the most helpful and informative that I have read to date and I have read quite a few. Randi Kreger has pulled a lot of very important and useful information together, that serves not only those trying to cope and understand this illness, but also a balanced and positive atmosphere for those that are suffering. It is a very difficult illness to deal with, but if you start by accepting that people trying to cope with their dysfunctional thoughts, are gravely misunderstood by those trying to help them, it is a good place to begin. I wish I had this book in my hands fifteen years ago, I might have been able to enable my daughter to seek a path out of the tangled mess of thoughts she lives in. This book not only gives you a very, very good understanding of the condition, but also HOPE! Borderlines can get better. Also, she points out that research etc. has changed the way professionals are starting to view this condition. It isn't always abuse. Like parents who lose babies in cot death, I have gone over and over what might have caused my girl to be so unhappy. This book has quite simply changed my life. It has given me something to work with (I always felt so b........y helpless and the NHS have been about as useful as a chocolate screwdriver. It has given me hope and what is so much more important, semantics! So very important and now I am changing the way I say and behave in order not to cause further damage to my daughter. If you have somebody in your life who has this condition, this book is a God send. It should be available on the NHS. I just thank my lucky stars that I found this book, it is helping me tame my Border Lion.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
By happytohelp
Format:Paperback
This was the first book I read about BPD and I found it very helpful. I recommended it to others in my family to help us to deal with our BP loved one.
However, the book I read after this one - 'When Hope Is Not Enough' by Bon Dobbs - I found to be much more useful to me personally. This is because it is much more focused on understanding the BP person themselves and why they behave in the way they do. I found that this has helped me towards a much deeper personal understanding of my loved one and what I can do to alleviate their despair, thereby helping our relationship to improve.
The Randi Kreger book is more about looking after yourself in the relationship. That is entirely valid and desirable of course - looking after yourself, especially when the relationship can be so draining & frustrating. What Bon Dobbs' book did for me though, was to take away that frustration and draining of energy. It's given me a new perspective, and one I feel very hopeful about. Personally I feel much more comfortable approaching the situation with compassion & understanding rather than with self-protection. In Dobbs' book, you genuinely feel that the two are entirely compatible.
So, if you're only going to buy and read one book, let it be When Hope Is Not Enough. If you're going to buy and read more than one, then I can also recommend Randi Kreger's book. Both offer many practical tools for you to use.
However, the book I read after this one - 'When Hope Is Not Enough' by Bon Dobbs - I found to be much more useful to me personally. This is because it is much more focused on understanding the BP person themselves and why they behave in the way they do. I found that this has helped me towards a much deeper personal understanding of my loved one and what I can do to alleviate their despair, thereby helping our relationship to improve.
The Randi Kreger book is more about looking after yourself in the relationship. That is entirely valid and desirable of course - looking after yourself, especially when the relationship can be so draining & frustrating. What Bon Dobbs' book did for me though, was to take away that frustration and draining of energy. It's given me a new perspective, and one I feel very hopeful about. Personally I feel much more comfortable approaching the situation with compassion & understanding rather than with self-protection. In Dobbs' book, you genuinely feel that the two are entirely compatible.
So, if you're only going to buy and read one book, let it be When Hope Is Not Enough. If you're going to buy and read more than one, then I can also recommend Randi Kreger's book. Both offer many practical tools for you to use.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By CF Dorrian
Format:Paperback
i found this book very helpful as it allowed me a person with BPD to help my family understand why I act as I do and also to let them know it is okay to have time out. The book is easy to read and contains some really useful information for family/ friends. I would recommed this to someones family in the same situation as mine.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Essential reading for family members who suspect a borderline in their...
This book for me was life changing. It gave amazing insight to the problems in my family and the tools to deal with them, cannot recommend this book enough
Published 8 days ago by schlumpf
4.0 out of 5 stars
very useful self help guide for those that need it !
easy to follow with much food for thought for those that are beginning to question always taking a resigned approach to living in difficult personal circumstances and would like to... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Anne Patricia Chick
4.0 out of 5 stars
A guide to understanding ourselves and others' worlds
this was an excellent read, thorough, informative, and with good examples. Professionally the book was very helpful in recognisong borderline traits and it showed the impact on... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Brian Mc
4.0 out of 5 stars
Family support for BPD
As a Pastoral Psychologist dealing with families who have to live with BPD, I find this a very helpful guide in giving structure to our meetings.
Published 20 months ago by Pieter
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very useful for getting your head around a loved one's behaviours with...
This book was the first book i read when researching the BPD disorder that has ravaged my girlfriend's life, and our relationsip too. Read more
Published on 18 Jan 2011 by Keith
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