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Product Description
Review
Clinical psychologist and business consultant Albert Bernstein's Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry is a humorous yet serious look at our interactions with people who seem to sap our energy. Through anecdotes, Bernstein makes the various categories of vampires distinctive and recognizable (Anti-Social, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Obssessive-Compulsive and Paranoid) and offers practical guidance for how readers can deal with them effectively (Understanding Emotional Vampires' immaturity is your ultimate weapon).
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Product Description
"If I'd had a copy of this book when I started therapy, I might have saved myself a lot of time and money. Bernstein provides a field guide to the various types of Emotional Vampires and advises readers how to protect themselves from being victims of these predatory personalities." - Diane White, "The Boston Globe". Emotional Vampires: They're out there ...masquerading as ordinary people. They may lurk in your office, your family, your circle of friends; perhaps they even share your bed. Chances are, you know all too many of them. Bright, talented, and charismatic, they win your trust, your confidence, and your affection - then drain you of your emotional energy. But take heart as you walk through the darkness, it doesn't have to be that way - the more you know about vampires, the less power they have over you.Here, Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, vampire-slayer and author of the best-selling "Dinosaur Brains and Neanderthals at Work", reveals the secrets that will protect you once and for all. Detailing a whole range of personality types and human responses, Bernstein shows you how to spot the "vampires" in your life: self-serving Narcissists, hedonistic Antisocials, exhausting Paranoids, or over-the-top Histrionic drama queens. And, with valuable advice, psychological perspective, and much-needed humor, he gives you a range of defense strategies that are guaranteed to keep the blood-sucking creatures of darkness from draining you dry. By the end of "Emotional Vampires", you'll be armed with superior knowledge, a treasure chest of vampire-slaying tools, and all the confidence you need to take on the most draining people in your life and win without shedding the first drop of blood.
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 42 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Having decided that my partner had some sort of personality problem and was "draining me dry" emotionally, I got the book on the basis of other Amazon reviews on it. WOW! WOW! There he was! The "lovable rogue" (even the cartoon picture of the personality type was HIM (incredible!)).Now I understood why he never asked me about my day, my life, my interests. That he was so self-centered he thought he was entitled to expect everything I did for him without so much as an acknowledgement, let alone a thank you. The book explained why this "antisocial personality" (psychology speak) has an unfortunate name as they love parties, but just use them to have more people to prey on, to satisfy their every whim. They are really basically loners, and have difficulties with long term relationships, as there is no two-way interaction or empathy. This book made it so clear to me,better than other books on the subject, which concentrate on why they became as they are and to see things from their perspective etc. This one tells you how to RECOGNIZE and HANDLE the problems, and believe me it helps you cope. In my case I had to end the relationship, and I am sure this book made the whole process far less painful (for me, as he would not feel a thing) and it has also kindled a desire to read much more about personality types. All the emotional vampires are in the book, and it is the only book I have read on the subject which makes it clear that they can be a mix of more than one type and that we ALL show some tendencies towards one or another pattern. A refreshing perspective with quizzes to test out personality traits. THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU SEE THE LIGHT IF YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AND YOU CANT FATHOM WHY! Buy it now!
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
firstly, i don't think the book really explained "the vampire" element properly - how it actually feels when people drain you dry. He describes several fairly predictable types - narcissistic, bully, etc perhaps too many categories. also, for me, the different mechanisms were not adequately explained.
that said, perhaps if you are dealing with something very specific e.g. a "bully" at work, the way it is explained might make it easier for some people to read and act upon.
sometimes it was pretty glib, and sometimes written in a cold, sketchy, check-list way.
however, could be worth reading in parts. The "narcissist" section i have just revisited and it is better than i first thought. there is a particularly insightful sentence at the end - the thing to be careful with when dealing with narcissists - it is the most catching of all conditions - you could end up one too. this (i believe) happened to a friend of mine married to a narcissit.
he also describes how to "live with" the different conditions in other people, so for example narcissist people are often creative people you might want to be around - but protect yourself! so that is quite an interesting take on a black-and-white view.
he doesn't give any insight how these character-disordered people came into being - e.g. spoilt as children, bullied as children. he wants it seems to focus more on a practical way to deal with people.
that said, perhaps if you are dealing with something very specific e.g. a "bully" at work, the way it is explained might make it easier for some people to read and act upon.
sometimes it was pretty glib, and sometimes written in a cold, sketchy, check-list way.
however, could be worth reading in parts. The "narcissist" section i have just revisited and it is better than i first thought. there is a particularly insightful sentence at the end - the thing to be careful with when dealing with narcissists - it is the most catching of all conditions - you could end up one too. this (i believe) happened to a friend of mine married to a narcissit.
he also describes how to "live with" the different conditions in other people, so for example narcissist people are often creative people you might want to be around - but protect yourself! so that is quite an interesting take on a black-and-white view.
he doesn't give any insight how these character-disordered people came into being - e.g. spoilt as children, bullied as children. he wants it seems to focus more on a practical way to deal with people.
69 of 76 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is one book I wish I'd read before venturing, happily but naively, into the dim and murky world of the emotional vampire. But then, of course, none of this could possibly apply to the charming, gorgeous creature sharing my life. What a ridiculous thought! The poor thing has had a lot of tough breaks, and just needs a little help, right? Nobody's perfect. We can all use a little support. What's friendship for, let alone love? Yeah, lean on me, babe. I'm here for you... The next thing I know, a gradual sense of the surreal slowly begins to pervade my life. I find myself trying to figure stuff out all the time. What was that she said? Why did she say that? Why would someone do that? Is it me? Am I missing something? My mind going round and round in ever decreasing circles. Little did I know this is the first symptom of blood loss.
I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me.
Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being. These people are parasites inhabiting the weird and batty world of the undead. I am not joking. This is a difficult concept to explain if you haven't been in a relationship with one.
If you even suspect that your significant other is a vampire - there's only ONE thing you can do if you want to avoid more blood loss and keep your sanity. Run like hell in the opposite direction. And keep on running.
I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me.
Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being. These people are parasites inhabiting the weird and batty world of the undead. I am not joking. This is a difficult concept to explain if you haven't been in a relationship with one.
If you even suspect that your significant other is a vampire - there's only ONE thing you can do if you want to avoid more blood loss and keep your sanity. Run like hell in the opposite direction. And keep on running.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Stay away from vampires - stay away from this book!
I got this book from the library as it covers a topic, (I hoped), that I am interested in and often read about. Boy was I glad I never bought this trivial pile of rubbish! Read more
Published 5 months ago by Peter
Am I The Only Sane One Here?
That's (almost)the title of another literary - and I use the term loosely - offering by this hideous propagandist. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Patsy Porter
Fantastic book
This is a great book! Very amusingly written too in my opinion. It covers:
1. Antisocial (rebels, basically), including:
Party girls/boys
Con men... Read more
1. Antisocial (rebels, basically), including:
Party girls/boys
Con men... Read more
Published 7 months ago by mile5away
Boring!
I have only got a 3rd of the way through this book, which proved to be a real struggle! It is not very well written, it aims to be both comedic and informative, but fails to really... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Taylosa
Very good background reading
I found this book very useful as an introduction to these personality types and also realised that everyone can fall into some of these types occasionally. Read more
Published 10 months ago by KateT
Star book..... must read
This book has chapters about the character types, called vampires:
i) antisocial
ii) histrionic
iii) narcissistic
iv) obsessive-compulsive
v)... Read more
i) antisocial
ii) histrionic
iii) narcissistic
iv) obsessive-compulsive
v)... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Sunflower888
Worthless - Waste of Time & Money
I found this book very confusing, inconsistent & nonsensical.
As other reviewers have already stated, the subject about emotional vampires wasn't fully covered and the... Read more
As other reviewers have already stated, the subject about emotional vampires wasn't fully covered and the... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Sameera
A good starting point...
I wanted a book that helped me deal with a bully. This book is more of a general outline of all the different personality disorder types and what their weaknesses are. Read more
Published 14 months ago by kimmelody
I would love it if I had received it.
Unfortunately I received the incorrect book from the seller. I informed him by e-mail and he was very apologetic. Read more
Published 17 months ago by D. E. W. Howels
Deserves More Stars
The existing 4 and 5 star reviews pretty much say all that you need to know about this extremely useful book. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Gareth111
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