"If I'd had a copy of this book when I started therapy, I might have saved myself a lot of time and money. Bernstein provides a field guide to the various types of Emotional Vampires and advises readers how to protect themselves from being victims of these predatory personalities." - Diane White, "The Boston Globe". Emotional Vampires: They're out there ...masquerading as ordinary people. They may lurk in your office, your family, your circle of friends; perhaps they even share your bed. Chances are, you know all too many of them. Bright, talented, and charismatic, they win your trust, your confidence, and your affection - then drain you of your emotional energy. But take heart as you walk through the darkness, it doesn't have to be that way - the more you know about vampires, the less power they have over you.Here, Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, vampire-slayer and author of the best-selling "Dinosaur Brains and Neanderthals at Work", reveals the secrets that will protect you once and for all. Detailing a whole range of personality types and human responses, Bernstein shows you how to spot the "vampires" in your life: self-serving Narcissists, hedonistic Antisocials, exhausting Paranoids, or over-the-top Histrionic drama queens. And, with valuable advice, psychological perspective, and much-needed humor, he gives you a range of defense strategies that are guaranteed to keep the blood-sucking creatures of darkness from draining you dry. By the end of "Emotional Vampires", you'll be armed with superior knowledge, a treasure chest of vampire-slaying tools, and all the confidence you need to take on the most draining people in your life and win without shedding the first drop of blood.
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Clinical psychologist and business consultant Albert Bernstein's Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry is a humorous yet serious look at our interactions with people who seem to sap our energy. Through anecdotes, Bernstein makes the various categories of vampires distinctive and recognizable (Anti-Social, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Obssessive-Compulsive and Paranoid) and offers practical guidance for how readers can deal with them effectively (Understanding Emotional Vampires' immaturity is your ultimate weapon).
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Back Cover
"If I'd had a copy of this book when I started therapy, I might have saved myself a lot of time and money. Bernstein provides a field guide to the various types of Emotional Vampires and advises readers how to protect themselves from being victims of these predatory personalities."Diane White, The Boston Globe
Emotional Vampires: They're out there . . . masquerading as ordinary people. They may lurk in your office, your family, your circle of friends; perhaps they even share your bed. Chances are, you know all too many of them. Bright, talented, and charismatic, they win your trust, your confidence, and your affectionthen drain you of your emotional energy. But take heart as you walk through the darkness, it doesn't have to be that waythe more you know about vampires, the less power they have over you.
Here Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, vampire-slayer and author of the best-selling Dinosaur Brains and Neanderthals at Work, reveals the secrets that will protect you once and for all. Detailing a whole range of personality types and human responses, Bernstein shows you how to spot the "vampires" in your life: self-serving Narcissists, hedonistic Antisocials, exhausting Paranoids, or over-the-top Histrionic drama queens. And, with valuable advice, psychological perspective, and much-needed humor, he gives you a range of defense strategies that are guaranteed to keep the blood-sucking creatures of darkness from draining you dry.
By the end of Emotional Vampires, you'll be armed with superior knowledge, a treasure chest of vampire-slaying tools, and all the confidence you need to take on the most draining people in your life and win without shedding the first drop of blood.
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
48 of 50 people found the following review helpful
By A. Chambers
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Having decided that my partner had some sort of personality problem and was "draining me dry" emotionally, I got the book on the basis of other Amazon reviews on it. WOW! WOW! There he was! The "lovable rogue" (even the cartoon picture of the personality type was HIM (incredible!)).Now I understood why he never asked me about my day, my life, my interests. That he was so self-centered he thought he was entitled to expect everything I did for him without so much as an acknowledgement, let alone a thank you. The book explained why this "antisocial personality" (psychology speak) has an unfortunate name as they love parties, but just use them to have more people to prey on, to satisfy their every whim. They are really basically loners, and have difficulties with long term relationships, as there is no two-way interaction or empathy. This book made it so clear to me,better than other books on the subject, which concentrate on why they became as they are and to see things from their perspective etc. This one tells you how to RECOGNIZE and HANDLE the problems, and believe me it helps you cope. In my case I had to end the relationship, and I am sure this book made the whole process far less painful (for me, as he would not feel a thing) and it has also kindled a desire to read much more about personality types. All the emotional vampires are in the book, and it is the only book I have read on the subject which makes it clear that they can be a mix of more than one type and that we ALL show some tendencies towards one or another pattern. A refreshing perspective with quizzes to test out personality traits. THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU SEE THE LIGHT IF YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AND YOU CANT FATHOM WHY! Buy it now!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
By Peter
Format:Paperback
I got this book from the library as it covers a topic, (I hoped), that I am interested in and often read about. Boy was I glad I never bought this trivial pile of rubbish! It's like junior psychology which would even disgrace a GCSE student. What is so difficult to get my mind around is how come a Phd. graduate can write such dribble on such a serious subject. It is so bad words almost fail me!
Dr. B. seems to have based his research, if he ever did any, on American 1960/70's TV sitcoms and soap dramas! He ranges so broadly over the subject as to make any new reader to this field believe that ever person they have ever met is a `vampire' of some (his), description. Instead of helping the reader understand why Dr. B.'s so called `vampire' might exist, he chooses to bag them up in a comic book description and hang a warning notice around their necks. I would have hoped that even someone such as Dr. B. would have at least a little knowledge that the people he is populating his ill conceived book with are those who have altered states of empathy or conscience and who live their lives somewhere along the autism spectrum and possibly may have aspersers syndrome, (which would be an insult to any such person to be included in this book), but of course not a single mention of that in the book as we the reader might then begin to understand why some people behave differently instead of having them lined up as a freak show as it appears to me happens in this book. I could not bear to finish this book and would recommend to others not to bother to even start!
Dr. B. seems to have based his research, if he ever did any, on American 1960/70's TV sitcoms and soap dramas! He ranges so broadly over the subject as to make any new reader to this field believe that ever person they have ever met is a `vampire' of some (his), description. Instead of helping the reader understand why Dr. B.'s so called `vampire' might exist, he chooses to bag them up in a comic book description and hang a warning notice around their necks. I would have hoped that even someone such as Dr. B. would have at least a little knowledge that the people he is populating his ill conceived book with are those who have altered states of empathy or conscience and who live their lives somewhere along the autism spectrum and possibly may have aspersers syndrome, (which would be an insult to any such person to be included in this book), but of course not a single mention of that in the book as we the reader might then begin to understand why some people behave differently instead of having them lined up as a freak show as it appears to me happens in this book. I could not bear to finish this book and would recommend to others not to bother to even start!
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
By minty
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
firstly, i don't think the book really explained "the vampire" element properly - how it actually feels when people drain you dry. He describes several fairly predictable types - narcissistic, bully, etc perhaps too many categories. also, for me, the different mechanisms were not adequately explained.
that said, perhaps if you are dealing with something very specific e.g. a "bully" at work, the way it is explained might make it easier for some people to read and act upon.
sometimes it was pretty glib, and sometimes written in a cold, sketchy, check-list way.
however, could be worth reading in parts. The "narcissist" section i have just revisited and it is better than i first thought. there is a particularly insightful sentence at the end - the thing to be careful with when dealing with narcissists - it is the most catching of all conditions - you could end up one too. this (i believe) happened to a friend of mine married to a narcissit.
he also describes how to "live with" the different conditions in other people, so for example narcissist people are often creative people you might want to be around - but protect yourself! so that is quite an interesting take on a black-and-white view.
he doesn't give any insight how these character-disordered people came into being - e.g. spoilt as children, bullied as children. he wants it seems to focus more on a practical way to deal with people.
that said, perhaps if you are dealing with something very specific e.g. a "bully" at work, the way it is explained might make it easier for some people to read and act upon.
sometimes it was pretty glib, and sometimes written in a cold, sketchy, check-list way.
however, could be worth reading in parts. The "narcissist" section i have just revisited and it is better than i first thought. there is a particularly insightful sentence at the end - the thing to be careful with when dealing with narcissists - it is the most catching of all conditions - you could end up one too. this (i believe) happened to a friend of mine married to a narcissit.
he also describes how to "live with" the different conditions in other people, so for example narcissist people are often creative people you might want to be around - but protect yourself! so that is quite an interesting take on a black-and-white view.
he doesn't give any insight how these character-disordered people came into being - e.g. spoilt as children, bullied as children. he wants it seems to focus more on a practical way to deal with people.
74 of 82 people found the following review helpful
By Baz
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This is one book I wish I'd read before venturing, happily but naively, into the dim and murky world of the emotional vampire. But then, of course, none of this could possibly apply to the charming, gorgeous creature sharing my life. What a ridiculous thought! The poor thing has had a lot of tough breaks, and just needs a little help, right? Nobody's perfect. We can all use a little support. What's friendship for, let alone love? Yeah, lean on me, babe. I'm here for you... The next thing I know, a gradual sense of the surreal slowly begins to pervade my life. I find myself trying to figure stuff out all the time. What was that she said? Why did she say that? Why would someone do that? Is it me? Am I missing something? My mind going round and round in ever decreasing circles. Little did I know this is the first symptom of blood loss.
I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me.
Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being.... Read more ›
I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me.
Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being.... Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent
Excellent!
life suddenly makes so much more sense. A must for everyone on reaching adulthood, especially if getting married... Read more
life suddenly makes so much more sense. A must for everyone on reaching adulthood, especially if getting married... Read more
Published 1 month ago by A Edwards
5.0 out of 5 stars
This is a resource book of examples of types of friends etc.
Helping us to recognise and deal with unhealthy patterns of behaviour, and how they affect us. A feed resource/ work book
Published 2 months ago by Mrs. A. Wason
4.0 out of 5 stars
A useful survival guide to human zoology
One of the worse curses of human beings is that it is very difficult for them to understand that the diversity of human emotions and the levels of their depth and intensity... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Antonios F. Arkas
5.0 out of 5 stars
Amazing
The item arrived within the specified time and in good condition. This book is brilliant. I did not realise how many different types of people there were that could drain you... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Alison
4.0 out of 5 stars
deals cheerfully with heavy issues - good
Some reviewers are concerned that Bernstein isn't sympathetic enough towards how difficult people may have become that way, and don't like his cheerful, bouncy tone either. Read more
Published 6 months ago by alan12345
5.0 out of 5 stars
emotional vampires
I found this book compulsive reading. I could identify so many people in my life within the pages. If everyone read this book it would open their eyes and help them to identify... Read more
Published 8 months ago by jan
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent!
I have been researching Narcissism for some time now and have read other books on the subject but this one covers all.
Should be re named putting up with !*! Read more
Should be re named putting up with !*! Read more
Published 9 months ago by jeffrey
3.0 out of 5 stars
Disappointing
I had high hopes for this book. I thought it was written by a serious, intelligent, psychologist. Maybe he is....but I can't take him seriously, from the picture on the sleeve. Read more
Published 11 months ago by kirstaii
1.0 out of 5 stars
Am I The Only Sane One Here?
That's (almost)the title of another literary - and I use the term loosely - offering by this hideous propagandist. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Patsy Porter
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fantastic book
This is a great book! Very amusingly written too in my opinion. It covers:
1. Antisocial (rebels, basically), including:
Party girls/boys
Con men... Read more
1. Antisocial (rebels, basically), including:
Party girls/boys
Con men... Read more
Published 20 months ago by mile5away
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