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Emotional Parasite: a Memoir of Depression

Emotional Parasite: a Memoir of Depression [Kindle Edition]

Henrietta Court
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: £1.66 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Product Description

Product Description

Do you know what it feels like to make friends with razor blades? I do. They stood by me as I was buried alive in my own misery. Quarantined from the rest of the human race by an ever-deepening depression, they were always there. My story provides insight into this distressing condition that made me want to slice, cut, gash and damage my body. It tells of a condition so painful that, at just thirteen, I was gagging and retching as I forced down several tablespoons of slug pellets in an attempt to end the torment. They tasted like nail varnish but they were not as bad as my life. Self-harm helped me cope with that life.

By 15, I had become so dreary and withdrawn that an overdose of 90 paracetemol felt like my only option. The disappointment at failure was so great that, after realising the initial poisoning wouldn’t kill me, I clung onto the hope that delayed, serious liver damage would.

It didn’t. Instead, my condition spiralled out of control and I was soon admitted to a psychiatric hospital at just 15-years old. I was scared to be away from my parents, but knew that there was no real alternative. Although I got used to things there, I was discharged too soon and I soon resorted to my old coping mechanisms.

“You’re lucky” said the doctor “if you had come to casualty just 24 hours later, we would have been amputating your arm just above the elbow”. Instead, I got away lightly with just an operation to clear up the festering, infected mess. My self-harm had reached desperate levels by this point but I felt compelled to continue hurting myself.

Eventually though, even self-harm couldn’t mask the pain. Once more, suicide felt like the only option. Following another failed attempt, I got my first taste of the living graveyard that was the adult psychiatric ward. It was a miserable terrain and no place for a 16-year old girl.

After a long series of doctors, nurses, psychologists, occupational therapists and further hospital admissions, I eventually joined the world of ‘the recovered’. Doing so wasn’t easy. I had to argue with, and outwit, my depression, as well as overcome my low self-esteem, let go of my guilt, recognise the importance of emotional intelligence, and create a healthy, balanced life for myself. Through this journey, my book provides clues on how thousands of other sufferers may be able to do the same. In generating an understanding of these ‘building blocks of depression’, my book also destroys the myth that, to be depressed, one must have undergone some major life trauma on a par with the many Tearjerker books available.

Sometimes, though, the truth is just as surprising. I share secrets that many others are too ashamed to admit. I let the reader in on the surprising reality that depression has good points. I whisper of the metaphorical safety blanket that depression creates, and the associated fear that there would be nothing left of me if I waved my depression behind.

With excerpts from my medical notes, I also provide a rare glimpse into the honest opinions of the medical professionals - like, for example, the psychiatrist who thought that it wasn’t good for me to have a trusting, open relationship with my therapist.

This is all complemented with a compact dose of academic research demonstrating how the medical research community has done a fantastic job of exaggerating the effectiveness of anti-depressants. Suddenly it makes sense why so many people are claiming that medication isn’t helping. Sadly, those people are often labelled as uncooperative and non-compliant patients, and coerced into swallowing pills that they don’t want. With this book, I give these people enough information to make their own decisions.

Raw and shocking, yet uplifting and positive, this story is both for those people currently battling their own demons, as well as for their confused loved-ones following helplessly behind.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 376 KB
  • Print Length: 287 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #125,667 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great book 4 July 2013
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A great read containing personal detail of this very touchy subject. I would recommend it for anyone who is troubled by depression.
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5.0 out of 5 stars fantastic 23 Mar 2013
By wren
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I thought this would be just another memoir of someones fight with depression. However it is very informative in giving detailed information about cbt and schema therapy in action. also about the emotional intelligence that is often lacking in someone with depression. i am a mental health nurse and learned a lot from this book which will help with my practise. fantastic book, very readable and well written.
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