- Paperback: 272 pages
- Publisher: William Morrow & Company; Reprint edition (Mar 1998)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0060928972
- ISBN-13: 978-0060928971
- Product Dimensions: 20.4 x 13.5 x 1.7 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 138,789 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description
Product Description
"If you really loved me..."
"After all I've done for you..."
"How can you be so selfish..."
Do any of the above sound familiar? They're all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and coworkers, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the payoff they want: our compliance.
Susan Forward knows what pushes our hot buttons. Just as John Gray illuminates the communications gap between the sexes in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Harriet Lerner describes an intricate dynamic in The Dance of Anger, so Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, Forward provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.
From the Back Cover
DO IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE:
• constantly threaten to end the relationship if you don't do what they want?
• always want more, no matter how much you give?
• shower you with approval when you give in to them and take it away when you don't
• consistently label you as selfish, bad or greedy when you don't do what they want?
• use money as a weapon to get their way?
• say things like 'After all I've done for you…' or 'If you really loved me…?'
If you answer 'yes' to even one of these questions, you are being emotionally blackmailed. Emotional blackmailers know and manipulate our vulnerabilities: they are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and colleagues. In 'Emotional Blackmail', Dr Susan Forward provides you with the means to change, enabling you to build new healthy relationships both with the blackmailers in your life and with yourself. She offers sound strategies for blackmail targets, practical scenarios and concrete communication techniques that will break the blackmail cycle for good.
"Susan Forward shines a light on relationships in her uniquely compassionate and dramatic way."
DR BARBARA DE ANGELIS, author of 'Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know'
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
The world of emotional blackmail is confusing. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
The world of emotional blackmail is confusing. Read the first page
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Concordance
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
Format:Audio Cassette
It is so easy now to see how some people gets their way without you even being aware of it. Or how you know that it is happening but for some reasons can't stop it. Forward, as alway, is clear in her writing, helpful, friendly and deep.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
for 26 years of my life my mother had emotionally blackmailed me and i honestly thought i was going crazy. then one day browsing on the internet i came across emotional blackmail, something i hadn't even heard of and i looked it up on amazon to see if i could find a book on it, i ordered it immediately and began to read as soon as i got it. it was such an eye opener, finally i knew what my control freak mother was doing and how to put a stop to it.
it took a lot of effort and wasn't easy and many times over the last 3 years she has tried but it no longer works thank god! she really has tried every trick in the book and sometimes her efforts to manipulate me were just plain evil. but this book made me see that i had control over stopping it even though i was doubtful. i really would recommend this book to anybody who is being manipulated, you don't have to put up with it, i certainly didn't!
it took a lot of effort and wasn't easy and many times over the last 3 years she has tried but it no longer works thank god! she really has tried every trick in the book and sometimes her efforts to manipulate me were just plain evil. but this book made me see that i had control over stopping it even though i was doubtful. i really would recommend this book to anybody who is being manipulated, you don't have to put up with it, i certainly didn't!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book definitely points out some of the typical behavior I have encountered and where I was made to feel bad when I shouldn't. I have realized I have so much choice and shouldn't be afraid to voice my opinion. I think more and more people should read this.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great purchase of a book I couldnt find in stores (Croatia)!
I received the book within the predicted time (ie less than 3 weeks) and the book was in perfect state (new). I am 100% content with this purchase.
Published 1 month ago by Gai
A Wise Read!!!
This book is very direct and logical in its approach using case studies to illustrate how we can be manipulated by others, parents, partners, bosses and friends. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Emmy 3
Essential reading for anyone in emotional turmoil
Recommended reading, because it helps you to understand basic human reactions in times of stress. Read the bit on FOG if nothing else
Published 9 months ago by Sjad
Light bulb moments
Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward Ph.D.
This book highlights all the behaviour which can be used to manipulate you into thinking that you are guilty when the person... Read more
This book highlights all the behaviour which can be used to manipulate you into thinking that you are guilty when the person... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Nipper
Insightful
It's frightening how easily we can be manipulated and even psychologically abused. This books tells you all you need to know and how to avoid it.
Published 13 months ago by C. ARNOLD
Gave me a more positive outlook
This book hits the nails on the head when it came to explaining the problems coming with emotional blackmail and manipulation. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Caitlin
It's OK to be you
This book is easy to read and describes clearly just what emotional blackmail is and the forms it takes, and takes you step by step to freeing yourself from it. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Chains Unloosed
emotional blackmail
I was recommended this book by a client who was feeling the emotional strain of looking after someone close with a mental health issue. Read more
Published 22 months ago by J. Willis
BLACKMAIL DEFINATELY
I enjoyed this book it helped me to see that i have been emotionally blackmailed throughout my life, if this is the case with you read the book. Read more
Published on 3 Jun 2009 by E. Oulsnam
Total Enlightenment
I have literally just opened my parcel containing my copy of EB and am only on the 4th page! So far I am sat here with my mouth open in shock and disbelief that it makes so much... Read more
Published on 11 Dec 2006 by Ms. Michelle S. Shrimpton
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