- Hardcover: 898 pages
- Publisher: HarperCollins World; 17th Revised edition edition (Nov 2004)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0066209579
- ISBN-13: 978-0066209579
- Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 19 x 5.3 cm
- Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1 customer review)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 150,715 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description
Review
"An encyclopedic reference on all things social."--Newsweek
Product Description
Emily Post's revolutionary 1922 book jettisoned rigid Victorian rules and viewed manners as adaptable to the times and belonging to people from all walks of life. Despite today's "anything goes" attitude, research and the many questions sent to Peggy Post's columns and to the Post Institute website show that Americans remain interested in the basic courtesies and seek the self-confidence, positive image, and improved relationships that come from dealing respectfully with others. This new edition includes: 20 all-new chapters: Today's Families; Dating, "Netiquette"; The Home Office; Dealing with Rudeness; New Times, New Traditions; Separation and Divorce, and more. 2 all-new sections: Children and Teenagers (raising well-mannered children) and Relationships (from stepfamily harmony to noxious neighbours) New topics: How to have an argument, Instant messaging etiquette, re-gifting, 10 e-mail transgressions, 4 cell phone never-evers, today's 12 rudest behaviours, travel etiquette, same-sex wedding ceremonies...etc Updates on: holiday tipping (who/how much), when thank you notes are optional, new wedding trends, observing/attending others' holy days/ceremonies, and more
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I found this a fun and funny read at the same time.
About 70% of this book is things you'll never do. And I mean never. It has detailed instructions on how to reply to someone who has just come out of a divorce (if you need a book to tell you what to say to your friend who just got divorced, then you really need help), how to eat an avocado or baked potatoes "the right way", and how to behave in embassy dinners. Also, the stuff on dating and "things to say" and "things not to say" I think are quite irrelevant, and ignores a large section of "dating" today. I mean, by all means, if you want to be a "nice guy" and just be constantly timid and take almost no initiatives of your own, then go for it, but if you want to be attractive to other people, then there's other books to read which basically instruct you to do almost the exact opposite of what she says.
There's about 30% of this which is useful: how to lay out a formal table or buffet, how to serve food, how to eat various tricky dishes (which help minimise making a mess), how to address various people (ministers, queens, princes, ambassadors etc) when writing to them, etc.
But then again, this is American-oriented, and it ignores for most part important European conventions, such as the position of the left hand (or right hand for left-handeds) when eating: in the book it shows that the left hand is under the table, but in Europe the savoir-faire dictates that the hand is clenched in a loose fist, and the fist rests on the side of the table (elbows as close to the body as possible). As with most good manner "rules", this serves to be practical more than anything else: if you need to reach out for anything on the table you have to make a smaller move than if you had your hand under the table (resting on your lap); also, it is an indication of good intentions, as you show you don't have anything to hide (in older times you could be loading your gun to shoot the person across you!); furthermore, it provides with a more balanced posture at the table, and helps prevent you from moving your head towards the plate, rather than moving the fork with the mouthful of food towards your mouth.
For most part it does not indicate the *why* of a particular convention, but just lays out the convention which must be taken without questioning. I think the best way to teach manners to anyone is to explain the (practical or aesthetic) reason behind a particular convention, because not only will it be easier to remember, but it will also make sense. If there is no particular reason for doing something, maybe it's time to stop doing it.
About 70% of this book is things you'll never do. And I mean never. It has detailed instructions on how to reply to someone who has just come out of a divorce (if you need a book to tell you what to say to your friend who just got divorced, then you really need help), how to eat an avocado or baked potatoes "the right way", and how to behave in embassy dinners. Also, the stuff on dating and "things to say" and "things not to say" I think are quite irrelevant, and ignores a large section of "dating" today. I mean, by all means, if you want to be a "nice guy" and just be constantly timid and take almost no initiatives of your own, then go for it, but if you want to be attractive to other people, then there's other books to read which basically instruct you to do almost the exact opposite of what she says.
There's about 30% of this which is useful: how to lay out a formal table or buffet, how to serve food, how to eat various tricky dishes (which help minimise making a mess), how to address various people (ministers, queens, princes, ambassadors etc) when writing to them, etc.
But then again, this is American-oriented, and it ignores for most part important European conventions, such as the position of the left hand (or right hand for left-handeds) when eating: in the book it shows that the left hand is under the table, but in Europe the savoir-faire dictates that the hand is clenched in a loose fist, and the fist rests on the side of the table (elbows as close to the body as possible). As with most good manner "rules", this serves to be practical more than anything else: if you need to reach out for anything on the table you have to make a smaller move than if you had your hand under the table (resting on your lap); also, it is an indication of good intentions, as you show you don't have anything to hide (in older times you could be loading your gun to shoot the person across you!); furthermore, it provides with a more balanced posture at the table, and helps prevent you from moving your head towards the plate, rather than moving the fork with the mouthful of food towards your mouth.
For most part it does not indicate the *why* of a particular convention, but just lays out the convention which must be taken without questioning. I think the best way to teach manners to anyone is to explain the (practical or aesthetic) reason behind a particular convention, because not only will it be easier to remember, but it will also make sense. If there is no particular reason for doing something, maybe it's time to stop doing it.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
58 reviews
244 of 250 people found the following review helpful
from SherriAllen.com
24 Mar 2005
Format:Hardcover
"Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition" is not your grandmother's guide to manners. The most respected authority on all things proper since 1922, "Emily Post's Etiquette" has been completely rewritten by Peggy Post, Emily Post's great-granddaughter-in-law, to help you conduct yourself with courtesy appropriate for today's contemporary living.
In "Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition," Post offers advice for handling modern situations such as online dating,"blended" families and breastfeeding or pumping at the office. Guidelines are given for using high-tech devices like cell phones, e-mail, and instant messaging. There is even a discussion on the inappropriateness of displaying body piercings at a job interview.
Fortunately, when updating the book to address modern advances and changes, Post did not disregard the situations and concerns that have remained important through the years. "Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition" is packed with timeless advice on matters such as table manners, introductions, displaying the flag and responding to invitations. Entertaining, planning and attending weddings and communication are covered in detail. Most people will find the guidelines in the chapter titled "The Finer Points of Tipping" very useful. There's even a section on Official Protocol, so you'll know how to behave if you are ever invited to the White House.
"Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition" is well-written and well-organized. That is of key importance considering this book is 896 pages long. Post's style is easy and conversational, keeping you from feeling like you're getting bogged down and welcoming you to continue reading. If you have a specific etiquette question, you will be able to find the answer quickly and easily due to the attention paid to the book's structure. The table of contents and index are intuitive. The chapters are broken up and easy to navigate through the effective use of headings and subheadings. Indexed tabs are even thoughtfully included.
Peggy Post has done an excellent job with "Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition." She has provided a guide that allows for the more casual nature of modern society while honoring the simple courtesy and civility that will never be out of style.
In "Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition," Post offers advice for handling modern situations such as online dating,"blended" families and breastfeeding or pumping at the office. Guidelines are given for using high-tech devices like cell phones, e-mail, and instant messaging. There is even a discussion on the inappropriateness of displaying body piercings at a job interview.
Fortunately, when updating the book to address modern advances and changes, Post did not disregard the situations and concerns that have remained important through the years. "Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition" is packed with timeless advice on matters such as table manners, introductions, displaying the flag and responding to invitations. Entertaining, planning and attending weddings and communication are covered in detail. Most people will find the guidelines in the chapter titled "The Finer Points of Tipping" very useful. There's even a section on Official Protocol, so you'll know how to behave if you are ever invited to the White House.
"Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition" is well-written and well-organized. That is of key importance considering this book is 896 pages long. Post's style is easy and conversational, keeping you from feeling like you're getting bogged down and welcoming you to continue reading. If you have a specific etiquette question, you will be able to find the answer quickly and easily due to the attention paid to the book's structure. The table of contents and index are intuitive. The chapters are broken up and easy to navigate through the effective use of headings and subheadings. Indexed tabs are even thoughtfully included.
Peggy Post has done an excellent job with "Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition." She has provided a guide that allows for the more casual nature of modern society while honoring the simple courtesy and civility that will never be out of style.
102 of 104 people found the following review helpful
An essential read and reference for everyone
20 Jan 2006
Format:Hardcover
This book is an essential read for almost everyone, period. If you go outside your house, open your curtains, answer your phone, or even reply to your mail, electronic or otherwise, this book is for you. If you want a primer on manners because you feel like you're not "doing the right thing" in a social situation, this book is for you. The only reason you shouldn't have this book is if you have so little contact with other people that you would not even be on the internet reading this review in the first place.
When most people imagine what's inside a book like this, they see detailed instructions on how many inches the dinner fork must be from the salad fork, how many seconds one is required to wait before answering the phone, and how many inches of shoelace should hang off the side of one's sneakers. "Emily Post's Etiquette" is nothing like that. She emphasizes that changing times have put the heart of good manners where they belong: In the spirit of courtesy and respect for others.
What you should get from this book by reading it is the confidence to deal with life's difficult situations, and the grace to be polite even when others are not. What everyone else should get from this book is a little bit better world, where at least one more person can lead with a good example.
These potential benefits alone are enough to merit my recommendation. I encourage you to pick up a copy and find out for yourself just how much you can get from it.
When most people imagine what's inside a book like this, they see detailed instructions on how many inches the dinner fork must be from the salad fork, how many seconds one is required to wait before answering the phone, and how many inches of shoelace should hang off the side of one's sneakers. "Emily Post's Etiquette" is nothing like that. She emphasizes that changing times have put the heart of good manners where they belong: In the spirit of courtesy and respect for others.
What you should get from this book by reading it is the confidence to deal with life's difficult situations, and the grace to be polite even when others are not. What everyone else should get from this book is a little bit better world, where at least one more person can lead with a good example.
These potential benefits alone are enough to merit my recommendation. I encourage you to pick up a copy and find out for yourself just how much you can get from it.
103 of 110 people found the following review helpful
The best of its kind
19 Jun 2005
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Emily Post is arguably the most famous American writer on the subject of etiquette. I have heard about this book a few times but it was written so long ago that I thought it to be obsolete and never purchased it. Recently, my grandmother passed away and I stumbled upon the 1957 edition of Etiquette while searching through her books. I must say that I was dead wrong about the book being out of date. There are some traditions that have since died out, like what to do with hats, but only because the fashion has changed. The rest of the book is still very practical. In the preface to this book Emily Post says, "Graciousness and courtesy are never old-fashioned, though their expression does change."
The importance of learning etiquette can be summed up in one quote from the first page of the book: "no one--unless he be a hermit--can fail to gain from a proper, courteous, likable approach, or fail to be handicapped by an improper, offensive, resentful one."
While most people think of etiquette in relation to table setting and dinners, it is much more than that. This book guides the reader through everyday good manners and civility.
The importance of learning etiquette can be summed up in one quote from the first page of the book: "no one--unless he be a hermit--can fail to gain from a proper, courteous, likable approach, or fail to be handicapped by an improper, offensive, resentful one."
While most people think of etiquette in relation to table setting and dinners, it is much more than that. This book guides the reader through everyday good manners and civility.
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