Elvira, Mistress of the Dark [VHS]

In the past couple of years I must have watched this film at least a hundred times and I never ever tire of it. Elvira's fight against morality and Chastity Pariah is a lesson to us all. And she has some of the best one-liners in the history of film ('no, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it'). This is a gothic masterpiece of double-entendres, which everyone should have the priveledge of seeing. Plus, Elvira's Flashdance routine is one of the best scenes in any film ever.

Picked up this DVD for $5 tonight and LOVE it! What an all-time camp classic! Elvira throws out the zingers like nobody's business!

A lecherous TV producer walks over and says "they call me Longhorn, care to guess why?" She responds, "Does it have anything to do with your breath?"

And how about the shape-shifting poodle she dresses in leather studded straps and a pink mohawk! Gonk rocks!

Even Edie McClurg pops up as the local town prude and after getting a dose of a love potion laced casserole walks over to a guy laying on the ground and asks, "Excuse me...is this face taken?" and plops down right on him! Too much!

1988 was the year of Elviramania. With her own slot (Lord knows what lip smacking double entendre she would spin from that) on Channel 4 and a poster on the wall of every hormone-addled teenage boy, Cassandra Peterson's vampy alter ego captured the public imagination for a brief moment in time and launched her movie right on target. And what a beautifully judged movie it was. It's spiky but warm hearted, just like the lady herself, and sweetly reminiscent of the madcap Roger Corman movies it idolises, only this time the principal female character is no hapless victim.

The tale begins with Elvira as a hostess of largely forgotten "crap-ola" horror movies on a no budget cable channel, with only her dream of having her own Las Vegas revue keeping her going. After being told that realising such a dream will set her back fifty grand, she's all but given up. But out of the blue, what should happen but an invite to the reading of the will of her recently deceased great aunt Morganna. With visions of megabucks and Vegas in her eyes, Elvira heads to the sleepy town of Fallwell (a witty slight against the Reverend Jerry from Peterson, a longterm campaigner for gay rights).

Of course, it wouldn't be much of a movie if everything ran smoothly. From the moment of her arrival in Fallwell, Elvira has to contend with her bitter uncle Vinny, denied anything from his sister Morganna's estate, Patti the town's good time gal and rival for the affections of local handyman Bob Grinnig, and not least Chastity Pariah the chairwoman of the Fallwell Morality Club, a brilliant turn from the always memorable Edie McGlurg. Between this lot even a spunky thing like Elvira would have her work cut out, but I'm hardly giving anything away by revealing that her smarts and independent spirit win the day, as well as the ultimate affection of Fallwell's residents.

There's something for everyone to like about this movie. Elvira is a paragon of feminine sexiness without dumb pliability, sassy and quick without any unpleasant sharp edges. The film has a low budget feel, shot on a small number of creaky locations, but that only draws your attention to the evocative American Gothic settings and impeccable characterisation. The comic timing is superb in every scene, setting you on rails and not letting you off the ride until you've hit some killer punchline or some side-splitting visual gag. Quite why this movie isn't a consistent presence of every 'greatest comedies' list we'll never know, but that's surely an injustice. Maybe that's all the more reason to love it. Not just a movie gem, but one you're free to discover all by yourself.