Disclaimer: I have no real opinion on Hilary Duff. I haven't heard her music, and my only exposure to her movies was a two-minute cameo in Human Nature. Too bad her debut book is a lackluster limp lump of lifelessness. "Elixir" isn't a devastatingly bad paranormal romance, but it is crammed with cliches, clumsily written, and has a protagonist so Mary Suish that it burns.
After a vacation trip across Europe with her friend Rayna, Clea Weston discovers that a ageless hot guy has been stalking her across Europe. He's also in all photographs of/by her, and she's having dreams about past lives with him. And during an otherwise pointless trip to Rio, she finally encounters the man, who is named Sage.
Sage turns out to be connected to Clea's father, who has been presumed dead for months, and the Elixir of Life he was searching for. And after discovering her father's data on the Elixir (courtesy of REALLY IMPROBABLE GUESSES), she and her friends Ben and Rayna accompany Sage on a... very leisurely quest to discover the truth.
It feels like someone told Hilary Duff, "Paranormal romance is hot right now! Just write a plotless book with a bland heroine, sexy boys, and some supernatural stuff!", so she dashed off "Elixir" over the weekend. This is one of the blandest, most cliched paranormal romances I have ever read -- it feels like it was made with Mad Libs.
And Duff's writing is just awful. There are loooooong infodumps, silly descriptions ("endless swirling mass of inky black nothingness"), endless repetition, (Sage is always "magnetic"), ghastly dialogue ("Wow. He must spend a fortune on eBay"). And the ending is both confusing and anticlimactic -- and apparently designed for a sequel. Ye gods, I want to cry.
Even worse, she pads it with pointless scenes that add nothing -- the characters just drop everything to have sex, eat cinnamon buns, and even go DRESS-SHOPPING. Why? No reason! Duff has some interesting ideas -- reincarnation, the angel/incubus theory -- but she doesn't really explore them.
Clea isn'tt as openly repulsive as many paranormal romance heroines... but she's still boring and immature. And even worse, she's a Mary Sue -- a wealthy yet humble girl who also happens to be a globetrotting teenage photojournalist. And a worldwide megacelebrity. AND a Krav Maga expert. Does she also sing like a nightingale and have rainbow hair?
Sage is basically a blank slate with "Mysterious Love Interest" stamped on his face, and Ben is just pushy. Almost all the other characters are completely devoid of personality, and even the antagonists -- who have the epically silly name of "Cursed Vengeance" -- are totally faceless.
"Elixir" is a paint-by-numbers paranormal romance, with no passion and not much of a plot. Hilary Duff, please stick to singing.