Basic plot run-down: somewhere in the future some evil villainous types have stolen the banned Ache blaster weapons and are preparing to sell them to the highest bidder. In steps Earth policewoman Sagan Carter who is assigned to assist Oceanun enforcer Captain Keir Trask who is going undercover to smoke the baddies out and save the day. The undercover assignment you ask? Why he's going to enter the Mr. Interstellar Feller pageant - a galaxy wide mega event put on in Los Angeles and sponsored by the makers of the Pluto Pillow Mints.
In true romance novel fashion the two are drop dead gorgeous (more on Keir's appearance shortly) and they are instantly in lust with each other but they hate each other at the same time (isn't that original?). Of course Sagan can't abide anyone keeping secrets from her, so there's a small sub-plot to the Ache blasters with some jewels and Keir has orders from his superiors not to divulge it to anyone - just what we need to keep our two lovers at odds. How original. I think you can figure out the rest - our pair of lovebirds and Keir's winged sidekick battle the evil baddies as we sit on pins and needles (not) waiting for them to save the world.......
OK, that does all sound pretty dumb but I was willing to keep an open mind and at first start I thought it might not be that bad if one is in a fluffy novel kind of a mood. Unfortunately, the author forgot to keep her tongue firmly planted in her cheek and what might have been a fun read quickly evolved into a dreadful mess of a book. Sagan just pouted and stamped her feet all the time, while Keir spent most of it either getting aroused whilst looking at Sagan or getting ticked off at our Independent Miss and turning a darker shade of green (more on that shortly) and "growling" a lot. The baddies are waaaaaay too OTT in badness and don't you worry, you'll guess who the mysterious weapons buyer is lickety split. No surprises here (must be that editor's fault).
So, about our hero from another planet? Have I kept you wondering long enough about the big attraction? He's described as 7' tall with "gargantuan pectorals" and light green skin with blue eyes and apparently Sagan can't keep her eyes (and hands) off of him, but unfortunately for me a different image popped into my mind and once there it didn't go away, and I'm sorry I can't post that image here but yep, you guessed it - Herman Munster.
Top all that off with mediocre writing that I'm sure is all the editor's fault - including Pluto Pillow mints and Purple Porpoises on Keir's home planet with fins that glow. The story is supposedly set well into the future, yet the hotel security still has tapes for Sagan to download and splice to her heart's content (ummmm, wouldn't we be digital by now?), plus characters using slang that hasn't changed one iota in all these years (You all remember the 70's when we were saying peace and groovy? No one's doing that now, are they?). Although the hands down laugh out loud moment for me was Keir leaving the Downtown Los Angeles hotel (you all know LA's on the West coast kind of by the beach right?) to head out to the desert and points his hovercraft controls to WEST. Sigh, I guess we'd better blame that on the editor too. This book might suit in you're in the mood for a satirical farce (although I don't think that's what Sams intended), but otherwise I suggest passing on this one. Wish I had.
