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The Dealer Kindle Edition

3.5 out of 5 stars 53 customer reviews

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Length: 261 pages Word Wise: Enabled

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Product Description

Review

'This extraordinary thriller has a gallery of wonderful characters from a crazy vicar to a blind bodyguard. A frightening and fast-paced story with the huge bonus of several chapters which are hysterically funny. Don't miss this one!' --Actor, Richard Briers

'FIVE STARS. This is a great holiday book!!! Think Tom Sharpe (Wilt, Riotous Assembly, etc) with balls. Royden manages to flesh out his 'wacky characters' with just enough reality that even the cross-dressing Colonel and the unhinged, pot-smoking, Harley Davidson-riding Vicar of Buntleyford are believable (I think he was the Vicar at my last wedding actually). If you want a great laugh and you are not worried about the strange looks that you'll get on the plane when you pee yourself, then add it to your hand luggage!! Unfortunately I was on the No. 41 bus when I read it and am now being sued by The Hampshire Bus Cleaning Company!!!...I loved it!!...A gripping story that had me guessing to the end. If I could give it 6 stars, I would!' --Gary Shail - Quadrophenia

'fast, funny and compelling...I was hooked from the start and couldn t put the book down...I found myself laughing out loud on several chapters, and even read a few parts twice over they were that funny. Highly recommended. My book of the year!' --International recording artiste, Simon Fung - China Black

About the Author

Tony Royden is a London-based composer/song writer/music producer who has successfully managed to establish himself in many diverse fields within the music industry; from composing stage musicals to producing top 20 pop/dance records and musically directing a prime time BBC TV chat show. Tony can boast over 80 BBCTV title music commissions - including The BAFTA TV Awards, 3 National Lottery shows (including The National Lottery Wright Ticket), EMMAs 2002, Hot Wax, Song For Europe, Grandstand, The Other Half, The O-Zone, The Booker Prize, Winter Olympics, Radio 1 Road Show, Michael Palin presents The Grierson Awards, Mind Games, Equinox and The Red Nose Awards - to name but a few. In 1987, Tony had great success with his musical 'Tanya', for which he wrote music, words, and screenplay. The story of a girl's struggle to beat her addiction to drugs, 'Tanya', was sold to and produced by the BBC - and has been shown in its entirety throughout Europe. The Dealer is Tony's first novel, and promises more for the future.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 303 KB
  • Print Length: 261 pages
  • Publisher: Shotgun Publishing Limited; 1st edition (1 Jan. 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0079LSUIW
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars 53 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #69,939 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Wonderfully readable and funny throughout, with a few characters that seem too weird to be true, and yet....

This book takes you on an exciting day's journey with hard-nut Danny, a gangster who wants to retire. Settling into a country village seems an unlikely goal for him, and not everyone is happy to have him around. However, the mysterious letter with which the story begins delivers a few surprises....

Ideal book to take on holiday, the story is well paced and easy to pick up whenever you like.
Highly recommended.
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Format: Paperback
This book is hilarious, fast paced storyline, recommended to anyone who likes London gangster fiction... Credit to the author for writing a genuinely fun book!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am really glad I gave this book a try. The thing I like most about my kindle is that it opens the market up to trying out books that you wouldn't necessarily spend money on for a new author. Gordon Ferris is one that I am happy about and Tony Royden is another.

The other reviewers have mentioned about the characters and the craziness of the plot, so I won't go on about all that too much, but needless to say, I would recommend this book to anyone who likes a funny read.

I look forward to the next instalment and I definitely think there is mileage in the characters created in this book.
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Format: Paperback
I, like other reviewers here met Tony Royden at a book signing. I went into Waterstones looking for a Christmas guide and he tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a copy of the book and a list of reviews, I couldn't resist the sales technique so bought it there and then and had it signed. He was a very nice man, so when I started reading and realised it was about London gangsters, I became a little cynical, Royden seemed as gangster-ish as Guy Richie, but I kept at it, ignored the stereotypes and clichés, the one dimensional characters and the childish writing style that makes The Da Vinci Code look like a literary masterpiece and it won me over. It IS laugh out loud funny in some places (not always convenient when reading in public) and is a very enjoyable read.

Most of the characters are completely over the top (if Mr Magoo-style blind gangsters, harley riding, pot smoking, ageing Anglican ministers and cross dressing, senile colonels are not your thing, then perhaps you should look elsewhere) and some are just bad stereotypes (Italian Mother, Mad Scientist etc. Although the Italian woman says something that made me guffaw like an idiot on the bus and the scientist has some of the funniest scenes), but pretty much all of them are likeable, even when they do bad things you don't hate them (the book does have a few dark turns along the way) and the novel finishes with a completely unexpected, left-field ending. Despite my reservations I was pleasantly surprised with the whole experience.

Word of warning to the more high-brow amongst you. I agree with the negatives listed in the unfavourable reviews here, if you don't think you can ignore these problems, you will also hate the book, if you can get over them (I was half way through before I realised I was enjoying it) then you won't be disappointed.
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Format: Paperback
"The Dealer" is a cleverly constructed and very funny book. Tony Royden skillfully interweaves the large cast of entertaining characters and complex plotlines so it always makes perfect sense. The dark humour is reminiscent of Tom Sharpe and the ending certainly took me by surprise.
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Format: Paperback
The Dealer is very different to anything I have read before, a wonderful blend of crime/mystery thriller mixed together with a huge pinch of side-splitting comedy. The author's style of writing is fast and exciting and The Dealer is a page-turning story that I found impossible to put down. Yet throughout it's relentless pace, it also managed to have me howling with laughter (much to the annoyance of my family sitting around me).

The main characters (of which there are many!) each have their own story to tell; "Bat" was most definitely my favourite character - a blind bodyguard stubbornly in denial of his disability, he is hilarious. But there are loads more to keep you entertained throughout - a deranged pot-smoking vicar, an obsessive Italian mother, a senile Colonel, a fumbling professor and a crossbow wielding hitman, to name but a few! All the stories (some sinister, some extremely comical) eventually come together in a surprise ending - very clever. It would certainly make a good film!
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Format: Paperback
Took The Dealer on holiday thinking it would take me all week to read, but enjoyed the pace of the book so much I ended up finishing it in 2 days! Loved the character Bat - had me laughing out loud! Was surprised to see such a negative review on Amazon. I thought it was great.
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Format: Paperback
This book is not my usual choice of genre but I was given it as a gift. To my delight, it was a thoroughly enjoyable read. The characters are larger than life and that's what makes the book so 'laugh out loud' funny. I thought the themes of crime, mystery and humour deftly woven together to produce a unique and engaging story line. The ending is strong and really did take me by surprise. 'The Dealer' has clearly polarised some reviews into a 'Marmitesque' style of response. I am firmly rooted in the "absolutely loved it" camp.
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