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Eats, Shites & Leaves: Crap English and How to Use It [Hardcover]

Antal Parody
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

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Book Description

1 Sep 2004
"Eats, Shites and Leaves" is a celebration of all things shite about the misuse of English, highlighting the prevalence of absent apostrophes, ghastly grammar, suspect sentences, rambling repetitiveness, commentators' claptrap, tortuous tautologies, insane instructions, and quirky quotations in society today.

Product details

  • Hardcover: 162 pages
  • Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books Ltd; First Edition edition (1 Sep 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1843170981
  • ISBN-13: 978-1843170983
  • Product Dimensions: 20.2 x 14.1 x 2.1 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 301,529 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description


"'A lucky-dip of malapropisms' The Observer" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

" I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant' - Robert McCloskey, US State Department Spokesman

Featuring a plethora of examples that show how to get the worst out of the world's most commonly spoken language, Eats, Shites and Leaves is a wittily informative insight into how the English language can be used and abused in the twenty-first century.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
91 of 96 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A classic in a class above the rest in its class 11 April 2005
By Aaron C Reskew VINE VOICE
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
This book is obviously a parody of "Eats shoots and leaves" and it's very good. As the title suggests it's about the bad use of English, or is that the use of bad English? Either way, it lists a number of examples of tortured syntax and downright bad grammar, and it does it in a generally off-the cuff manner.
Examples of what not to do include repetition, repetition, switching sentences between being written in the active voice and when you write in the passive voice, and using prepositions to end sentences with. Did I mention repetition?
It also includes a number of examples of celebrity-speak and signs that simply boggle the mind - "Dog for sale - eats anything and likes children" being just one such example.
Well worth a read.
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184 of 195 people found the following review helpful
"Eats, Shites and Leaves" is the parody of Lynne Truss' "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" and is a much kinder read for anyone interested enough to give it a go. I would suggest that it is mostly suited for those with a minor obsession with the English Language; whether they are students, teachers or just "Sticklers" who appreciate English fully and can still joke about it.
As an English Student, I found the book both interesting and entertaining, even though at first glance it appears to be a list of English "Do's and Don'ts"; which by the way quite a lot of it is. If you can plough through the lists and deliberate mistakes (I recommend small doses), you'll find that it is very cleverly written and leaves you feeling as if you've been entertained, rather than preached to about spelling, grammar and "good English" for 165 pages. The whole book is brilliantly illustrated with examples of "bad English", delighting in the oral blunders of all the people we love to see stuff-up their precisely constructed speeches, ranging from George W. Bush to Britney Spears.
If you are thinking about reading/purchasing this book and you haven't yet read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" I strongly advise that you do so at some point before or after reading "Eats, Shites and Leaves". Although they aren't closely related as parodies go, they do neatly complement each other and are more interesting in combination.
Overall "Eats, Shites and Leaves" is a good read, managing to incorporate entertainment, interesting facts and actual education in an approachable and funny way. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for something different to read, especially with Christmas just around the corner.
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98 of 125 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars ..or how not to jump on a bandwagon 27 Dec 2004
By A Customer
This one of the very few books I have ever regretted buying.
Starting off with a statement that seems to suggest that the relevance of rules in a living language are of minor importance - a stance with which I heartily disagree, incidentally - the book then goes off into a badly structured exposition of rules interspersed with attempts at humour.
Eats, shoots, and leaves I read with enjoyment. It was both informative and entertaining, and had structure. This low-grade imitation I found myself skimming, trying to find something worth spending time reading. It was not a fruitful search.
Eats, Shoots, and Leaves was an unexpected and surprising but well deserved success. I suppose it was bound to spawn copy-cats. This book, in my view, fails as an imitation and as a parody.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars It's OK 15 Nov 2006
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
a few clever snippets, a few good quotes, I've read around so I see a lot of "been done before" stuff, for me the title is still the most memorable bit. I really like the title!
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18 of 24 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Complementary medicine 19 Dec 2004
This book was, of course, prompted by "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" and is billed as a parody (well it's written by one). As such it will always be compared and contrasted to Ms Truss's book. However they complement each other very nicely.
If you adsorb the the points made you will write better English. The book should be taken in small doses, but this is made easy because it is well leavened with humour and any given topic rarely runs for more than one page. Perhaps the most important section is "The complete rules for good writing" which is broken down into 5 separate pieces scattered throughout the book. They are each written in a style that illustrates exactly how not to do what they are describing. For example "Never use a big word where a diminutive alternative would suffice".
If I have a criticism, it is that there is a heavy use of celebrity quotations illustrating various gaffs. All too easy to do on the spur of the moment, or if you are George Bush.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Fun 29 Jan 2014
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I really had fun reading this book. A quick and pleasant reading.
I also learnt some new things about English. Recommended.
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5.0 out of 5 stars very interesting for the english speaker/writer 28 Nov 2013
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
need to have a fairly good knowledge of english to understand this book, I bought it for a student learning English but I know it will be a while before he can use this book properly. But, I enjoyed it!
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5.0 out of 5 stars INSPIRED! 11 April 2013
By natalie
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
This book is an unusual twist on the original. Hilarious in places and the examples are pertinent and opportune all the way through.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Condition
Although there was a reference to a damaged book jacket in the description, it was a very poor sellotape patched up spine of a badly torn jacket. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Alan R Dickinson
4.0 out of 5 stars I love English, loved this book
Crap. It doesn't have the apostrophe - I checked the index!

I still love this book, much food for thought and it made me laugh.

N.B. Read more
Published 13 months ago by jonbirduk
5.0 out of 5 stars Great fun and informative
Present for my wife (English teacher) and is obviously a spoof on "Eats shoots and leaves" book. Has some great lines and is informative on how poorly language is used.
Published 15 months ago by Andrew King
1.0 out of 5 stars Didn't Like It
Perhaps I am lacking the right sort of humour to appreciate this book but I simply did not find it funny. Read more
Published 18 months ago by TCM
5.0 out of 5 stars Wickedly Funny!
This is one of the funniest books I have ever read. The superbly humorous collection of malformed English quotations is presented in a manner that is incredibly amusing regardless... Read more
Published on 29 Nov 2008 by Rory Mercer
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
A really fun book. A light witty approach to the english language.
Published on 4 Oct 2005 by "anna281259"
5.0 out of 5 stars This is the funnny version!
Quite obviously, this is a pardoy of the hugely popular "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynne Truss, but let me tell you that this version is by far more enjoyable and is easily worthy... Read more
Published on 10 Mar 2005 by "dw-uk"
4.0 out of 5 stars FUNNY!!
this books states the most obvious thing to the human brain, but is is amazing how many people don't actually think of it, this book is very amusing!!
Published on 25 Feb 2005 by Hannah Mitchell
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