Dylan to English Dictionary [Paperback]

"The answers my friend are written in this book"

"A fascinating if utterly eccentric attempt to decode the writings of the world’s greatest living songwriter"

"A fascinating, meticulous and hilarious study of Dylan's lyrics, written by his arch-fan and stalker, the one and only Weberman"

"Bin A Long Time - ....'The Most Useful and Authoritative Translation of Bob Dylan's Poetry You Can Own.'"

"It's a culmination of a life's work -- a meticulous, original work with a wealth of insights into Dylan's words."

In 1969, long before the onset of the information revolution, I created The Bob Dylan Word Concordance, a 3,000-page alphabetical and chronological printout of every word in Dylan’s poetry along with one line of context. In order to do this all of Dylan’s words had to be put on punch cards then the binary codes they contained transferred to magnetic tape. Only one line of context proved inadequate and the sheer bulk of the concordance made it difficult to access. Then suddenly the PC put as much computing power in my hands as the NSA had in the late 1950’s. Without microprocessors and the Internet this dictionary could never have been written. Now, if you have the intestinal fortitude to read this entire dictionary it will be indisputable that I have unearthed embedded allegory in Dylan's poetry to some degree or another using the Dylanological Method; a Data Base-driven derivative of hermeneutics that provides TOTAL textual and chronological context for a word under analysis. Dylanology also relies on numerous standard and specialized dictionaries available on the Internet for universally recognizable definitions and on Dylan fan sites for a chronology of the events in Dylan's life and career. This dictionary will prove to be a basic foundation for future analysis of Dylan’s poetry and Advanced Dylanological Study, a new branch of American literature.

Hey, you may think of me as the guy that went through Dylan's garbage, had demonstrations against him, labeled him as someone with a long term substance abuse disease etc. but there is more to it than all of that.

AJ WEBERMAN
I have made several major contributions to intellectual history. The contribution I will best be remembered for is garbology, the study of famous people's garbage. Garbology is a word in the latest edition of Compton's Dictionary. Another word that will shortly be added to the dictionary is Dylanology, the study of Bob Dylan's poetry. I also invented that term. But perhaps my most important contribution to intellectual history was solving the mystery of the Kennedy assassination by identifying the tramps who were picked up after the assassination as Howard Hunt and Frank Sturgis of Watergate fame. But there is a catch to all of these things. Garbology is an invasion of privacy and so a lot of "respectable" publishers and media outlets will not go near it. As for Dylanology, Dylan hates me and makes sure I am referred to in a negative way or not referred to at all when any news about Dylanology appears in the press (Dylan was my first garbological subject). And when I made the tramp discovery I went up against the FBI and the CIA. As a result the Feds questioned all my neighbors on my block and found one dude who agreed to harass me by letting his dogs loose in the alley behind my building at 6 am every morning. They tapped my phone, as revealed by records I obtained under the Freedom of Information Act and made sure any media appearances I arranged were cancelled. When my book on the Kennedy assassination was about to be issued in paperback by New American Library they put the kibosh on it. If not for the Internet there would be no way that you would be reading this shit now. Another contribution and invention is VIRTUAL ACID TRIP the only site on the Internet that gets you high. It received at least 10,000 visits a day from 127 countries. It linked to other Weberman Websites about Garbology, Dylanology and CIA assassinations, so, despite the past efforts of the most powerful government in the world, the truth was still seeping out until I got busted and the sites went down.

But I got out of the joint and started up acid trip again as a pay site. After I got enough money to pay for it I made it free once again. It receives less visits but I am streamlining it and we will see what happens. Shortly after I left the halfway house a medical researcher in South Africa who believed that Steven Hatfill, a former associate of his, was behind the post-September 11th anthrax attacks contacted me. I began studying the life of Steven Hatfill and came to the conclusion that he was the scumbag who killed several people in an attempt to awaken America to the dangers of biological warfare - he was THE BIOEVANGELIST. The Feds, however, could not develop any physical evidence linking him to the attack, and with the help of the neo-cons, who were intent on blaming the attack on Iraq to help justify the invasion and occupation of that land, Hatfill still remains a free man. However, it should be noted that no other suspect as come to the authorities attention nor has Hatfill yet to hold a press conference and field questions from the press.

While I was in the joint I had time to think about Dylanology for a while, and was able to perfect this literary science. I began work on a Dylan-English Dictionary and was finally able to penetrate the barrier of ambiguity that Dylan created, after misinterpreting a great deal of his work in the past. But I knew that I would have problems publishing a work of this nature due to the fact that I quote Dylan so extensively, despite the fact that my translations appear in brackets between his words, so I began studying Islamism and did a book called THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF ISLAM.

Now let’s apply the Dylanological Method to a verse from Dylan’s Million Dollar Bash -- a poem that makes no sense on its literal level. This poem comes from the basement tapes that were recorded after Dylan became a big rock and roll star. By looking at the entire poem we note that it contains words like dumb blonde, Stones, Cream, Mashed Potato (a popular dance at the time). We can formulate a tentative hypothesis that perhaps the poem has something to do with the pop music scene. Next let’s look at the Lesser Used Meanings in this poem and see if we can find a common thread. If not, we will formulate a different hypothesis and apply it.

The verse begins "That big" (the dictionary revealed big’s Lesser Used Meaning is conspicuous in position or importance; "a big figure in Hollywood" The Dylanological precedent for big: In a poem printed in Hootenanny Magazine titled Blowin’ In The Wind Dylan writes, "the question jus aint that almighty big" - in Dylan’s Tarantula, "think big you’ve seen the sign" and in Idiot Wind "Their minds are filled with big ideas") / dumb blonde (dumb blonde means a stupid beautiful woman or a Hollywood movie star who fits this description or portrays someone like this. Dumb can also mean someone who cannot express themselves in words. The Dylanological precedent for DUMB: In Tarantula Dylan wrote, "whose right arm once went deaf & dumb" and in No Time To Think Dylan writes, "To survive it you play deaf and dumb") / with her wheel (wheel’s LUMs - "a person of prominence" Wheel and deal means to make deals or do business, especially shrewdly or briskly - this seems like the dumb blonde!
’s agent, promoter. The Dylanological precedent for wheel: in Dark Eyes Dylan wrote "a drunken man is at the wheel" idiom - to "take the wheel" to be in charge) / in the gorge (Gorge’s LUM, "consume greedily" which "big wheels in show biz" often do. It can also refer to the Hollywood Gorge, which relates back to dumb blonde. One must pay special attention to those words that on a lesser-used level of meaning relate to literature, music and the entertainment business in general. There is no Dylanological precedent to cite for gorge as it is used only once) / Turtle (a slow mover or thinker from Aesop’s The Tortoise and the Hare. In Chronicles 2004 Dylan wrote, "I only ordered the turtle soup. I didn’t want to eat anything that would bog me down" and in Tarantula he wrote, "your crippled lover, benjamin turtle") / that friend (LUM: an admirer, booster or fan. Dylanological precedent for friend - in Positively Fourth Street Dylan told his old fans, "You got a lotta nerve to say!
you are my friend") / of hers / with his checks (LUM: a standard for testing and evaluation criterion. Dylanological precedent found in Tarantula, "Moan comes in with his art critic - Sean Checkshit") / all forged (primary meaning: to make or imitate falsely especially with intent to defraud) / With his (the fans) / cheek’s (LUM: "self assurance, cool self-confidence" Dylanological precedent, Tarantula, "the good Samaritan coming in with the words "round & round we go" [revolution] tattooed on his cheek") / in a chunk (LUM: vested in someone with a large amount of money, "someone with a chunk of change." Also chunk as an act put together indiscriminately. Dylanological precedent requires the definition of too many surrounding words) / And his cheese (LUM: "someone he regards as important." Dylanological precedent, Chronicles 2004, "Archbishop of Anarchy, the Big Cheese") / in a cash (LUM: use something to your advantage - someone who is exploiting his ignorance. Dylanological precedent found in liner notes to Desire, "Goya cashed in his chips") / They’re all gonna be there / At that Million Dollar Bash (bash - primary meaning, a social gathering - LUM: to attack a famous person - celebrity bashing)."

A pattern, a thread, has formed since there is a subtle relationship between the lesser-used meanings of these words. This indicates we are on the right track in understanding what Dylan is trying to say on the allegorical level of this verse.