I really wanted to like this game. I can't stress that enough. Plus seeing as my wife bought this for me - I didn't want to seem ungrateful. I've played every Duke game as they were released and back in the day, they were awesome - they were crude and just playable entertainment. This game hits the crude mark, but fails in every other aspect.
I made the mistake of not heeding the other amazon reviews (which is pretty much my barometer on any purchase these days). I saw 'Don't Do it', 'Long load times', 'Fail to the King' and you know what, I ignored them. Why? Well because I'm a doof.
I gave this game a good chance to win me over. But I slowly realised, the prospect of poorly sprited girls throwing innuendoes at me - just doesn't cut it any more. I completely get that this game is trying to continue doing what it did in the hey-day, but what I want from a game has changed greatly since I was a teenager. I want an exciting storyline, I want weapons that are accurate and fun to use, I want to crouch behind cover dammit. Duke - you've not delivered.
So for me, in the later-twenties demographic, the humour is to much hormone-driven teenage boy to be anyway near tongue in cheek. I get that it's playing on the fact that Duke is supposedly a sex driven ego maniac - but the jokes and references are just poor and unfunny. On the flip side, those hormone driven teenage lads who've so far existed on gaming diets of the highest quality are no doubt picking this up and thinking - what an abysmal game.
I played for about 7 hours before I admitted defeat and wanted to scratch my eyes out. If you're desperate to play this please wait until it's come down in price, rent it or - if you really want the essence of the game - just google 'boobies'.