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Millers wide and profound book about childhood trauma has provided thousands of readers with guidance and hope, and is essential reading for those interested in psychology, psychotherapy, and more.

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EXPERIENCE has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery of the truth about the unique history of our childhood. Read the first page

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4.2 out of 5 stars (12 customer reviews)

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80 of 81 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Wise & Perceptive Book That Changed My Life!, 14 Feb 2005

By	Jana L. Perskie "ceruleana" (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self (Paperback)

Alice Miller's "Drama Of The Gifted Child," was originally published as "Prisoners Of Childhood; The Drama Of The Gifted Child," in 1981. I read the book over 20 years ago, and recently reread it. I find that it is just as relevant, wise and perceptive today as it was then. Ms. Miller was a practicing psychoanalyst, who gave up her work with patients to write books, for the layperson, primarily dealing with early childhood abuse. In a new Forward, Miller continues to disavow psychoanalysis. Although I am not in agreement with her on this, she continues to be one of my heroes.

Ms. Miller, who writes an elegant and easily understandable prose, discusses here the issue of children raised by a narcissistic parent(s). She explains that this book is not about high I.Q. children, but about those who were able to survive an abusive childhood because they developed an adequate defense system. At a very early age the child intuitively apprehends the parent's needs. Since the parent, especially the mother, is the child's soul source of survival, the child strives to please, fearing disapproval, or abandonment. Thus, the child sublimates his needs for the parent's. Roles reverse and the child frequently takes on the parent's responsibility as emotional caregiver. This impedes the growth of a child's true identity, and a "loss of self" frequently occurs. The child adapts by not "feeling" his own needs, and develops finely tuned antennae, focusing intensely on the needs of the all important other. Ms. Miller writes, "An abused child, (emotionally), does not know it is being abused, and in order to survive and avoid the unbearable pain, the mind is provided with a remarkable mechanism, the 'gift' of 'repression,' which stores these experiences in a place outside of consciousness." Although, later in life, these "prohibited" feelings and needs cannot always be avoided, they remain split off and the most vital part of the true self is not integrated into the personality. The results are often depression, and tremendous insecurity.

Alice Miller makes her readers aware of the unexpressed sufferings of the child and the tragedy of the parent(s) own illness. As she frequently states, "any parent who abuses a child," knowingly or otherwise, "has himself been severely traumatized in his childhood, in some form or another."

Gifted children are often the products of emotional abuse by a narcissistic parent. However, if the child's great need for admiration is not met, for his/her looks, intelligence or achievements, he/she falls into severe depression. Miller says one can only be free from depression "when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one's own feelings and not on the possession of certain qualities."

Children need a great deal of both emotional and physical support from the adult. According to Miller, this adult support must include the following elements in order for a child to develop to his or her full potential: "Respect for the child; respect for his rights; tolerance for his feelings; willingness to learn from his behavior."

Miller also writes about the "origins of grandiosity as a form of denial and its relationship with depression." Another interesting chapter deals with the "process of parental derision" and how it results in humiliation and possible psychic trauma of the child.

Alice Miller's extraordinary book, along with consistent psychoanalytic psychotherapy, has assisted many to understand their past, modify behavior, forgive, and finally, best of all, to heal. I cannot recommend "The Drama Of The Gifted Child" highly enough.
JANA

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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Important book on the way to self discovery, 9 Aug 2007

By	Aeneas - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self (Paperback)

Alice Miller highlights in this book the importance of looking into one's own history in order to understand our psychological makeup and become free of behaviors that otherwise hinders us in being ourselves. I have come to understand irrational and debilitating aspects of my own behaviors, that stemmed from childhood traumas, and seen how these can be liberated once they are experienced emotionally. It is not done over night and not by just reading this book alone.

The book is however a great encouragement and at the same time through stories and examples gives an understanding of where to look and clues to some of the behaviors that previously were simply confusing and puzzling. I wished I had read this book 19 years ago, when I first encountered therapy as it would have been an added help in understanding the process that I had started on. Another powerful book on this subject is "The Narcissistic Family".

All in all a highly recommended book, as understanding the human 'machine' is vital in order to become free, as Gurdjieff would say.

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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best Books Ever Written, 6 Nov 2007

By	Zadius Sky - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self (Paperback)

This is one of the best books ever written and one of the most powerful tools for one's self-discovery, to be free from narcissism. Miller has provided strong insights into this book, which encouraged and forced us to face the truth from our childhood, and why we hid our true selves as children.

We are all living in a narcissist society, and we have learned our narcissist traits to some degree. For us to get rid of these traits, we must seek to be free from the deadly emotional influences that shaped our lives. This book is one of the keys for which we will acquire to be free.

I would strongly recommend "The Drama of the Gifted Child" for those who seek for the truth about themselves.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars pernicious nonsense
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5.0 out of 5 stars Wounded children
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Published on 5 Jan 2001 by natassia@natassia.freeserve.co.uk

4.0 out of 5 stars Specific insights for hard-to-acknowledge problems
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5.0 out of 5 stars Powerfully insightful!
A powerfully insightful book on the intra-psychic 'dramas' that can shape the belief systems of the sensitive (i.e. "gifted") child. Read more

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	94% buy the item featured on this page: The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self 4.2 out of 5 stars (12)
	2% buy The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting 5.0 out of 5 stars (1) �16.99
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	1% buy Narcissism: Denial of the True Self 3.9 out of 5 stars (8) �5.99


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