Dr Who - The Lost Interviews (Not a BBC Production) [DVD]

Riddled with errors, this poorly put together collection of off-cuts and red carpet interviews is without a doubt the most cynical piece of Doctor Who (or D.R. W.H.O. as the title would have us believe) merchandise ever released.

Star interviews are out of context with the show - Claire Bloom is interviewed during rehearsals for a 2006 show, Felicity Kendal (no Neil, she didn't play Agatha Christie in "D.R. W.H.O.") is promoting another play and John Barrowman is spoken to while discussing Lee Mead's lack of media training (Barrowman removes his microphone as he speaks).

Padded out to 40 minutes by music clips from Mr. Mead and John Barrowman and a long clip of Mr. Bean's Holiday, this is simply awful. The spelling mistakes on the box (along with a picture of a red phone box - ho ho) should be an indication as to how terrible this DVD is but somehow it's worse. Far, far worse. 'K-9 and Friends' was a series (really?), the BBC will pay lots of money for missing episodes (really?) and Martha Jones "was the Doctor's love interest" (um...no.) are all at the tip of a deeply unpleasant, factually incorrect iceberg.

Kids - if you are fans of Doctor Who and tempted by the pocket money price of this, please think again. Please, please please don't buy it.

Neil Sean - you should be utterly ashamed.

First of all, Dr Who? I'm sorry, I'm not being a pedantic nerd, the title of the series is Doctor Who. It has NEVER been shortened to Dr Who, or even D.R. W.H.O. for that matter!

And "lost" interviews? Has anyone reported them missing? Maybe they were lost for a reason! The concept of "lost" interviews suggests they are both relevant and sought after. They are neither. Nor should it be assumed anyone's life will be enriched now they've been "found"!

This clearly is neither authorised not endorsed by the BBC, hence the lack of any series-related symbolism on the cover. Just a big photo of a smug-looking, self-important dude who has no connection with the series whatsoever.

This kind of cheap, cynical cashing-in exercise makes me sick. Because people will buy it thinking it's actually got something to do with Doctor Who.

It hasn't.

I know that Amazon normally doesn't accept reviews for products that haven't been released yet, but I think of this as an attempt to prevent people from making a huge mistake that they'll regret for a long time to come.

Spend your money on something less pointless, like a left-handed lightswitch, or something...

There are no 'lost interviews' on this DVD. In fact, there are barely any interviews. What we have here is the stuff that was edited out of the celebrity news on shows like GMTV, because it was either too dull, because the sound and pictures were too low quality, or, in one depressing case, because the camera wasn't even meant to be rolling, and it accidentally catches a snatch of John Barrowman talking. You can't even see him, and he's not even talking about Doctor Who. The clip lasts about 40 seconds. That's what most of this DVD is like.

So, there's a very short clip of Simon Pegg talking to the press at a screening. As with all red carpet interviews, he just wants to say something quick and then get away. The vertical hold goes wrong on the source video for the very brief and dull clip, then it fades out.

There's a very short clip with very poor sound of Claire Bloom in a play from years ago. Then about a minute of her talking about the play, probably taken from a local news show. It was recorded years before she did Doctor Who, so obviously it isn't mentioned. And that's all we hear from her.

There's a similar interview with Felicity Kendall (who's wrongly introduced as playing Agatha Christie in Doctor Who - just one of many, many basic inaccuracies), which doesn't mention Doctor Who, or anything interesting, which is why it was edited out of whatever show it was originally filmed for.

There's a clip that lasts about a minute, of David Tennant shouting over the media scrum at a press conference to 'reveal' that he thinks his replacement will be popular and that he likes the enthusiasm of the fans. Neil Sean is so pleased with this clip, he includes it twice in the DVD.

It gets worse. Freema Agyeman is represented by a still picture, and an anecdote where Neil Sean bumps into her in Marks & Spencer (the life he leads, eh?). There's some video footage of Peter Andre and Jordan, on the grounds that Jordan once told Sean she'd like to be in Doctor Who, or something.

The whole shoddy mess is linked by the grinning Neil Sean, who blithely spouts totally wrong 'facts' about Doctor Who, and punctuates everything he says with 'of course', as if his ill-informed bilge is somehow self-evident. He says the BBC will pay for lost episodes (WRONG). He says a Dalek prop is worth £1 million (WRONG). He says there was a spin-off series called K9 and Friends (WRONG)... Almost everything his says is wrong, but he doesn't seem to care. He's like a small child who has got hold of a camcorder and is happily making his own imaginary TV show - except with none of the innocence or charm.

Please don't buy this under the impression it must be 'so bad, it's funny'. It's not. It's just depressing. And if you do buy it, Neil Sean will make money, and will be encouraged to do more of this sort of stuff, cashing in on the trust of young children who love Doctor Who and will buy anything related to the show. Any kid who makes that mistake with this DVD will be sorely disappointed, and will learn what it feels like to be bitterly cheated.

In summary, then: only buy this if you want to ruin someone's childhood.