This is one of the most important and straightforward books ever written about men. Depression has long been identified as an ailment that is widespread in western society. Yet, until recently, very few people have focused on depression in men. In this powerful and inspiring book, Terence Real shows how many men, feeling the stigma of depression's 'unmanliness', conceal their condition not only from their families and friends but also from themselves. Attempts to escape depression fuel many of the problems we think of as typically male, difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behaviour and rage. Real teaches us how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves and restore relationships. He offers great wisdom, hope and practical guidance for them and their families. Other books by Terrence Real How Can I Get Through To You?
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About the Author
Terence Real is a psychotherapist in private practice. He has taught couples and family therapy, principally at the Family Institute of Cambridge, for twenty years. He is also the author of How Can I Get Through to You?.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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When I stand beside troubled fathers and sons I am often flooded with a sense of recognition. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
When I stand beside troubled fathers and sons I am often flooded with a sense of recognition. Read the first page
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Dr. Real's approach to describing depression in men offers a broad perspective that permits coherent examination of what might otherwise appear to be unrelated male behaviors. The patterns he associates with covert depression and which he describes so lucidly will be familiar to many. Men, dare to look carefully at yourselves. Women, thoughtfully consider your partners. Sons, study your fathers, learn, and be alert for the telltale patterns in your own lives. The violence Terrence Real attributes to men who live with unidentified covert depression is not always physical. Emotional "violence" can be more pernicious because our society does not recognize it or address it as effectively as physical violence in the law and through the remedies available from our legal system. How many families have been destroyed emotionally and financially by separation and divorce, and how many children's lives have been forever altered negatively, not by intentional malice or truely irreconcilable differences between spouses, but by unrecognized and untreated depression?
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book is a unique explanation of the causes for depression. The author writes with a profound maturity and has a wealth of fascinating case-material. This book is a must for any men's movement people, psychotherapists, anthropologists and anyone who is interested in opening up the heart.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I began seeing a psychiatrist in an attempt to save a marriage, although I felt nothing wrong my wife did. After having visited my counselor, I began to feel all alone in my depression - like I was the only one who felt this way. This book helped me to see not only was I not alone, but what I could do to help myself. I would recommend this to anyone - whether a man or his loved ones to help understand what is going on inside. My marriage did not itself work out, but I did share this book with her and if nothing else she understands what I was feeling...
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By T. Mann
Format:Paperback
For any man dealing with midlife challenges or for women dealing with midlife men, this book gives clear and deeply honest insights into what we are facing. It is however comforting to know that we are not suffering on our own and gives clear directions to help ourselves during this challenging time.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Insightful, honest, straightforward, and wonderfully well written (I read it in 2/3 days and English is not my native language!), this book helped me immensely in the quest for understanding and making peace with myself. I recommend it highly to all, especially men, that are searching for a sane grounding on which to base their personal growth, their relationships, and their creativity.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
While Terrence Real's intention may have been to describe the conditions of and reactions to depression in males, his description of "covert depression" applies to many of us who were trained to ignore our feelings in favor of "making it" in the world. His descriptions of the whys and wherefores of grandiose behavior as a response to depression hit home. A wonderful, clarifying, groundbreaking look at depression and its many manifestations and the impact it has on our lives; and yet another clear insistence that connection to others is the path to finding the joy and happiness that life has to offer.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I have read this book more times than I can count. Terrence Real strikes a chord and reveals a truth about depression in men and the societal norms (sustained by both men and women) which keep men isolated and locked in a vicious cycle of "covert" depression. Real's ideas may one day form the essential core from which all study and understanding of the changing roles of men and boys in the 20th -- 21st century are derived. He is an author and therapist who is way ahead of the curve in his chosen profession.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Having spent most of a professional career dealing with men's anger problems and how they can connect to addictions and illnesses Real's book leads the way to understanding the connections. As a seasoned therapist he has put into words my observations and understanding very well. I would recommend it to any therapist dealing with men dealing with aggression and addiction. The answers are here.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Interesting discussion of masculinity and depression.
Really interesting book for anyone dealing with a depressed man and anyone who struggles to understand their anger and behaviour towards those they are closest to.
Published 3 months ago by A
5.0 out of 5 stars
I do want to talk about this book !
Should be compulsory reading for all medical practioners, teachers and counsellors (and all parents?). Read more
Published 6 months ago by Tim Coombs
4.0 out of 5 stars
Highly Recommended
A very good read for those wishing to understand male anger and depression in more detail. I highly recommend this book.
Published 15 months ago by Vianova
5.0 out of 5 stars
Lifts the Lid on a western taboo
The author by use of case history analysis and his own personal experience of depression helps educate the reader. Read more
Published 16 months ago by falcon
3.0 out of 5 stars
Very insightful and relevant.
I found this book to be very informative and relevant to the inner mind set of many men. It helped me to understand my own feelings and the reasons why other men, I know, act the... Read more
Published on 3 Feb 1999
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent, over the top, poignant for our time.
Although the examples of the men treated in the book are quite violent and beyond that which I have experienced in my family, I find this book to be a key to understanding myself... Read more
Published on 30 Jan 1999
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