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Don't Go There! A Robblogger Look at Travel
 
 

Don't Go There! A Robblogger Look at Travel [Kindle Edition]

Robb Logger
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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    Product Description

    Product Description

    Here's what people are saying about the newest sensation to hit the e-book scene:

    Stephen King – “Without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever read. Much better than anything I could have written. But I’m not Stephen King, I’m your landlord, and you can’t pay rent with e-books”

    Candy Apples – “Without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever read. Much better than anything I could have written. But you can’t pay for lap dances with e-books”

    Chastity Bono – “Without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever read. Much better than anything I could have written. The frosted side appeals to the woman in me. The whole wheat side appeals to the man in me. I laughed my balls off. I really did! Please call an ambulance!”

    Not enough to convince you to find the spare change in your couch to dole out a measly $0.99? Wait, there's more...

    Robblogger saves you from spending your hard won vacation dollars on destinations not worth the effort:

    Mexico: Sadly, I’ll have to deduct points for the Piñata... I think this sends a poor message to mini señors and señoritas. That violence is rewarded with prizes, or that it is acceptable to beat animals with sticks. I don’t know what the message here is, but I don’t approve.

    Ireland: From 1845 -1849 Ireland was struck by the great famine caused by a potato blight. Over a million people died from starvation. I don’t know what the draw of a famine museum might be. Replicas of blighted potatoes and pictures of starving Irishmen fail to capture my interest. I’m not sure why you’d want to commemorate such a horrible plague anyway.

    Egypt: Maybe that’s why I have such a fondness for Egypt. In a previous life I was a ruthless, but forward thinking tyrant. I know all my slaves had dental. I was probably behind the initiative to invent dentists. That’s right, patient readers, Egypt gave us dentistry.

    And Pearls like...

    "I’m only a pair of leopard skin pants away from forming a Poison cover band. No thanks Egypt."

    "Red sand, black sand…red door, blue door. Can’t you do better Greece? Who the hell am I? Doctor Seuss? I live on a beach in the U.S. of A, where people have the good sense to keep their clothes on."

    "Since there hasn’t been a draft in decades, there’s little reason to visit Canada."

    What’s this dubious literary offering really all about? Besides a pretty clever way to part you from a few pennies, my girlfriend has always wanted to travel. I care for the idea of traveling about as much as I care for the idea of soaking my head in a sink full of electric eels. Travel appeals to me not very much at all, slightly less than not very much at all, to be brutally honest.

    So the birth of this e-book was my girlfriend suggesting countries we should visit. And me finding creative ways to convince her that visiting proposed country wouldn’t be fun.

    Finally, my blog -- where this all began:

    http://inspiredbycaffeinenicotine.blogspot.com/

    Thank you. I hope you enjoy.
    Robblogger

    Product details

    • Format: Kindle Edition
    • File Size: 164 KB
    • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
    • Language: English
    • ASIN: B004OC07SA
    • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
    • X-Ray:
    • Word Wise: Not Enabled
    • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
    • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #894,790 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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    Most Helpful Customer Reviews
    1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars Travelling from your armchair 27 Feb 2011
    Format:Kindle Edition
    "Don't Go there!" has a refreshingly simple way of looking at the countries of the world. Instead of enumerating the many wonderful things of each country, Robblogger looks at why we shouldn't go to each country.

    I particularly liked the foreword, explaining his motivation for writing this e-book:

    "What's this dubious literary offering all about? Besides a pretty clever way to part you from ninety nine cents, my girlfriend has always wanted to travel. I care for the idea of travelling about as much as I care for the idea of soaking my head in a sink full of electric eels. Travel appeals to me not very much at all, slightly less than not very much at all, to be brutally honest.
    So the birth of this e-book was my girlfriend suggesting countries we should visit. And me finding creative ways to convince her that visiting each proposed country wouldn't be fun."

    He is remarkably persuasive and honest about his opinion of each place. I have no idea if he managed to achieve his stated goal of convincing his girlfriend not to travel, but I definitely enjoyed the journey the book took me on!

    Despite the tongue-in-cheekiness' of his humour, Robblogger's assessment of each country is informative and interesting. Of course, being an English native, I immediately turned to England to see what he thought of us:

    "Windsor Castle and LEGOLAND in one day. Is that even safe or socially responsible? Dragging the kids around a thousand year old castle while they whine: Can we go to Legoland now? Is it time to go to LEGOLAND now? When are we going to LEGOLAND?
    Read more ›
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    Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
    Amazon.com: 3.7 out of 5 stars  9 reviews
    12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars A nice light read...and loads of laughs! 27 Feb 2011
    By Beth Muscat - Published on Amazon.com
    Format:Kindle Edition
    Don't let the picture fool ya. This is actually a good light read.
    Don't Go There 'is done in Rob's classic form of 'brow beat' humour. He rates 10 countries in the hopes of finding somewhere that he and his girlfriend can go for vacation. It's not an easy process. But, Rob plugs along...kind of like that train in Switzerland.
    Let's move on.
    He states a lot of good things about each country, but it seems the bad things outweigh the good things. For instance, he gave a -1,000,000 to Mexico because of it's crime rate and their lack of caring about said crime rate. He figures that if they got rid of the pinata, maybe the children of Mexico wouldn't grow up to be so mean and heartless.
    He akins Russia to a fat woman who is bi-polar, has a temper and a dry interior with an extensive coastline. Of course, the Russian's invented vodka and they say "dah". What's not to love?
    I particularly liked his facts about Greece. He compares Ouzo to Buckley's cough medicine. I've smelled both and I believe that observation to be correct. Although, as a Canadian mother, I have never given my child Buckley's just to test her resolve.
    Sweden has the Ice Hotel, Australia was originally discovered by the Dutch in 1606, but they didn't like it and Canada just wants to be the United States.
    Did Rob and his girlfriend ever come up with a place that they might like to vacation in? You'll have to buy the book to find out.
    This book was extremely funny and entertaining. It's akin to my husbands kind of humour. That's probably why I like Rob's blogs that he comes up with. I'm used to it.
    11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars Well done! 1 Mar 2011
    By Tiffany A. Harkleroad - Published on Amazon.com
    Format:Kindle Edition
    Most travel books try to sell you on why you should go to various exotic or exciting locations. Not this book. Robblogger instead tries to talk you out of going to various locations. For example, all the Swiss have to offer is trains painted various colors and a whole lot of lakes. And do not even consider Mexico, as you will get abducted, and have your entire hotel room stolen. England can offer you a castle that is also close to Legoland, but trying to hit them both in one day is a pretty bad idea. And one of the highlights of Ireland is a museum dedicated to diseased potatoes. Why would you ever want to go to any of these places?

    I am not one much for travel myself. Short trips within a day's drive, for 3-4 days is about all we do, because frankly, no bed is as awesome as my own, and I never feel like I get completely clean in hotel showers. So when this book was given to me for review, I loved the idea of it. There is a part of me, like Robblogger, who thinks the idea of traveling to all these places seems so awesome. And then I think about it a little more, and realize, eh, not so much.

    I love that some of the sources cited include Wikipedia and the US Department of State. It just proves that this book does not take itself too seriously, and more than once I found myself giggling uncontrollably. A huge fan of snarky humor, this book pokes fun at the pompous travel guides that are so commonly found among travel books. The book is a nice short read, I would say just about the right length to make this a first installment in a series of such themed books (Don't Go There Either as a sequal perhaps, or Don't Eat There, etc, the possibilities are endless).

    I really love that the writer talks in the introduction about this being born out of an attempted to amuse his girlfriend. This is one of those books that gives hope to burgeoning authors everywhere to go ahead and take the plunge. Well done Robblogger, I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
    10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Book Review: Robb Logger 13 Mar 2011
    By Shelly Arkon - Published on Amazon.com
    Format:Kindle Edition
    Here's a little flavor from Robb's book:

    The best Sweden could offer was a hotel likely made by a manic obsessive compulsive Swede with an ice pick and a lot of free time. Greece was a haven for dirty old men with cameras. The Land of Oz didn't have a good fairy or a wicked witch. Russia turned out to be the world's equivalent of the fat girl you would think twice about at the end of the night, even with their nine last calls, and Mexico scared the hell out of me.

    Anyone can buy this book for ninety-nine cents on Amazon.com. It's worth every laugh. It will tickle your brain, and make your cheeks hurt. Make sure you're sitting in a pair of Depends. You might pee yourself, too.

    Let's move on....(Robb's line, not mine)

    One thing I like about Robb's writing, he's got manners and is consistent with such. He always addresses readers as dear readers or dear and patient readers.

    Robb took careful time in doing research on certain countries for vacation spots so you wouldn't have to. He used their websites' homepages and Wiki-pedia for the important information that he delivered in his book. Thank you, Robb. I believe you've made your parents proud. Thank you for the warnings why no one should visit these places. Beware of perverts and hagglers. They lurk in other countries, too.

    Let's move on...

    He researched the following countries for you: Sweden, Greece, Australia, Mexico, Russia, Ireland, Switzerland, Egypt, and Canada.

    Mexico scared me the most. Been there myself. And yes, it scared the hell out of me. Too bad the book didn't exist in 1997, the year I went there.I'll never forget the tugboat ride and people leaning over the side puking. I'm glad I didn't partake in the hospitality, tequila served with worms. Drinking and a bobbing boat don't mix. My stomach had no problems churning on its own. Robb's book brought back the vivid memory. Thanks Robb.

    As for the other countries, he does a great job poking fun at them and pulling laughter out of you.Robb you're gifted with divine humor. God's been good to you.

    However, I do believe he'd like some visitors because he promoted Canada. At the end he announced his birthplace. Thessalon, Ontario. I believe he'd like a date or something. Any eligible woman. Possibly a midget. I think he likes really short women. He made my eyes tear for him.

    Sorry Robb, but I'm happily married with five dramatic daughters and two dogs. My dating days are over, buddy. But I'll be glad to read your next book. When is that one coming out?
    5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Go There - A Hilarious Read 23 Feb 2011
    By renthewriter - Published on Amazon.com
    Format:Kindle Edition
    Don't Go There is Robblogger's first e-book and before you think its some twisted way of telling someone to "back the eff up", rest assured that it is anything but.

    Rob has written the ultimate Anti-Traveler guide, a list of places NOT to waste your time visiting and as someone who likes to travel, I couldn't help but roll with laughter at his reasons why. Rob takes the particulars that each country is known for, sprinkles it with "facts" from Wikipedia then sautes it with a healthy dose of US Department of State warnings. He tops it off with his own special brand of sarcasm and you can't help but to laugh at the results.

    His world tour starts from Sweden all the way back around to Canada (and as a fellow Canadian, he's pretty spot on with his assessment). Don't Go There was written with his specific brand of tongue-in-cheek humour and if you follow his blog, you can definitely appreciate it.

    You can find him on Twitter (@robblogger) and on his website "Inspired by Caffeine & Nicotine". There, you'll read the latest witticisms, musings and everyday happenings that makes him uniquely Robblogger.

    To read the rest of my review please visit: [...]
    3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
    3.0 out of 5 stars Quick, fun read, but... 11 Dec 2011
    By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
    Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
    Rob's irreverent humor and writing style make this an enjoyable, quick read which was just the thing I was looking for when I bought this book. I laughed aloud many times on most pages, and even some of his jokes about sex were pretty funny. But then he jokes about sex again, and again, and again ad nauseaum until it is no longer funny, and he starts coming off as a pervert who will likely end up a pathetic dirty old man on one of those Greek beaches taking telephoto shots of other people's girlfriends. He really is a funny guy, and if he could have stopped rolling into the rut of depending too much on sex for humor, I really would have given this book 5 stars considering the category. A fun read for $0.99, but I would have been disappointed with the book if I had paid any more for it.
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