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Don't Run, Whatever You Do: My Adventures as a Safari Guide

Don't Run, Whatever You Do: My Adventures as a Safari Guide [Kindle Edition]

Peter Allison
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (78 customer reviews)

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Product Description


He writes beautifully and viscerally about the rhythm of bush life...This is an absorbing book: as a reader you can't help but get caught up in the author's infectious enthusiasm for Africa's beauty and its beasts. On turning the last page, booking the first plane out to Botswana was most tempting. --TNT Magazine

Peter Allison's engaging account of his life as a safari guide in the Botswana bush complete with flatulent zebra's and accident-prone tourists. --Wanderlust

Product Description

A charming, off-the-wall and thoroughly entertaining travel book recounting the true-life adventures of a young safari guide living in the Botswana bush, confronting the world's fiercest terrain and wildest animals and, most challenging of all, herds of gaping tourists. Despite the fact that "I had none of the qualities you would expect of a rugged bushman... I'm markedly uncoordinated, can't repair vehicles or understand how they work, I don't like guns, and sweat profusely when nervous or excited... which is exactly how watching animals makes me feel", Peter Allison works as a top safari guide in the Okavango Delta, an oasis of wetland and wildlife in the middle of the Kalahari desert. Full of outrageous-but-true tales of the people and animals he has encountered – the half-naked missing member of the British royal family; the mouse that overdosed on malaria pills; the monkeys with an underwear fetish; and last, but by no means least, "Spielberg" the video-obsessed Japanese tourist – Allison's stories are often self-deprecating and always hilarious. Full of essential wisdom like "never stand behind a frightened zebra" (they are prone to explosive flatulence when scared!), this is a wonderful and vivid portrait of what the life of a safari guide is really like. Peter's humour is exceeded only by his love and respet for the animals. The next best thing to sitting around a campfire late at night and listening to him talking, Don't Run Whatever You Do is warm, funny and utterly engaging.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 908 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Nicholas Brealey Publishing (15 Dec 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004GCK620
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (78 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #62,349 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So good... 5 Jun 2008
One of those books you can't put down. Each chapter, of about 5-15 pages is a little story in itself - funny, sad, all moving in some way. I found myself trying to limit the amount I read I enjoyed it so much! A wonderful, simple, uncomplicated and fun book.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A crazy journey 3 Nov 2008
A must have for anybody who has ambitions in the guiding industry or simply a love of wildlife. Full of campfire stories written so you never want to put the book down. This book makes you want to rush out and buy a plane ticket to Africa immediately.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars lots of fun 5 Dec 2008
I thoroughly enjoyed this book - the author has a good sense of humour and is not afraid to admit when he's done something different or just plain stupid. He seems to have a good feeling for Africa and its wild life.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An amusing collection of safari guide anecdotes 23 Mar 2011
By Julia Flyte TOP 50 REVIEWER
Peter Allison was a 19 year old Australian backpacker when he ended up working in the bar at a safari park in South Africa. After a couple of years he progressed to safari guide and moved to a camp in Botswana. This is a collection of anecdotes over the stream of his career. The kind of stories he might tell sitting around the bush fire at night: The time I almost got eaten by a crocodile. Rude tourists that I have encountered. The time I outfoxed the monkeys who were keeping me awake. The time I stranded my tourist group in a hippo pool. The time we got lost in the Okovanga Delta. And so on. Many of the stories are extremely self-deprecating and I can't help suspect that there's been some embellishment along the way, but that only adds to the entertainment factor.

My initial impression when I started reading was that Allison was rather annoying, but he won me over by the sheer entertainment value of his stories. This is not the best book if you're wanting a serious read about animals and their behaviour, but it will definitely create the urge to head off on safari. A very engaging and amusing collection of stories. Recommended.

While there are some photographs included, I wish there were more - specifically it would be good to include a honey badger and a genet.

If this whets your appetite for similar reads, I recommend Backseat Safari, which is written by a nature photographer working in Southern Africa.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining read 1 Oct 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I bought this just after a safari in Botswana. It is laid out as a series of short stories. Very amusing and informative and very true to life on safari in Botswana. Good for either preparation or reminiscing for a safari or just a good general read.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars WARNING 10 Jan 2010
By Stella
Brilliant book, but please be aware that it is the same as the UK version 'Dont Run, whatever you do'.
Unfortunately, having bought both books for a present, I was unaware of this until I went on to Peter Allison's website. Amazon treats these books as different too.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Dont Run Whatever you do 7 Aug 2009
A humerous and delightful and insightful book on the Okavango Swamps.
Good to read if you intend visiting these swamps or need to know about Ranger / tourist life in the swamps. The author is Australian and how he has adjusted to Wild Life and African expierences. Mossies - mice - lions - elephants and drowning Land Rovers .. German tourists and bird watchers.. all make up the fun of the book
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Compulsive read 14 Sep 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Bought this book when it was on offer and enjoyed it so much bought the next in the series at full price. A great mix of serious, funny and thought provoking. The chapters each tell their own short story and you can't help but read just one more!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, real and funny
If you love African wildlife, then get this book. I started reading it while in Botswana and couldn't put it down.
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Delightful
An entertaining description of a safari guide's enthusiasm and love of animals, versus his customers lust for excitement and thrills.
Published 2 months ago by mrs j w white
4.0 out of 5 stars a good read
Not a lot of substance, but raises a smile in places. It certainly shows that if you're going to be a safari guide you have to like the human race as much as the animals.
Published 4 months ago by Mrs. R. Baxter
5.0 out of 5 stars If you go on safari read it.
A combination of humour and horror.True insight of African safari.It will make you want to see Africa are put you off
Published 5 months ago by Denise
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
I loved every chapter of this book. Particular the trip trough the desert in an articulated Land Rover.
Definately recommend.
Published 5 months ago by Mr. R. F. Buxton
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful witty and humorous read.
Great read full of adventure written with wit and humour. Made me want to carry on reading and not get to the end.
Published 5 months ago by Dorothy Waddell
4.0 out of 5 stars MAD ON ANIMALS.

Published 6 months ago by Mrs. C. Abbott
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun
I love animals and I am looking forwArd to an african safari so this was a great read for me and an on-site into the life of a guide and safari camps. An entertaining g read
Published 7 months ago by Y. M. Somerville
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read before going on trip to Africa on safari
Brilliant tales and after my experience in africa I can confirm this book is very accurate. Gret little christmas present for a vet student aiming to do a placement in africa.
Published 8 months ago by sharon price
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
Thoroughly enjoyed reading Peter Allison's book and look forward to reading other books by him. He really seems to enjoy his work.
Published 10 months ago by Caroline Graham
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