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Don't Run, Whatever You Do: My Adventures as a Safari Guide [Kindle Edition]

Peter Allison
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £10.99
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Book Description

In the tradition of Bill Bryson, a new writer brings us the lively adventures and biting wit of an African safari guide. Peter Allison works as a top safari guide in the Okavango Delta, an oasis of wetland in the middle of the Kalahari desert, rich with wildlife. As he caters to the whims of his wealthy clients, he often has to overcome the impulse to run as far away from them as he can, as these tourists are sometimes more dangerous than a pride of lions! Full of outrageous-but-true tales of the people and animals he has encountered -- the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more fashionable hot pink ensemble; the drunk, half-naked missing tourist who happened to be a member of the British royal family; the squirrel that overdosed on malaria pills; the monkeys with an underwear fetish; and last, but by no means least, Spielberg the Japanese tourist who wanted a repeat performance of Allison's narrow escape from a pair of charging lionesses so he could videotape it -- these hilarious stories reveal Allison's good-natured scorn for himself, as well as others. Allison's humour is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals, and his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive - unfortunately it doesn t always work out that way, as he and his clients discover to their cost when they find themselves up to their necks in a hippo-infested watering hole! Full of essential wisdom like don't run, whatever you do, and never stand behind a frightened zebra (they are prone to explosive flatulence when scared!), this is a wonderfully vivid portrait of what the life of a safari guide is really like. "Allison's writing is high on colour and is packed with engaging accounts of the sort of things that are just another day at the office for the average safari guide. If you love the thrill of safaris this book is for you. It is full of hair-raising stories of escape and adventure in the bush. Having worked for more than twenty years in Botswana, South Africa, Namibia and Mozambique, the stars of Allison's show are hungry lions and territorial hippos. There are some white-knuckle tales of dodging landmines too..." -- Sunday Telegraph "Peter is the perfect storyteller with the ability to poke fun at himself. Witty, exciting, and ultimately unmissable." -- Real Travel "He writes beautifully and viscerally about the rhythm of bush life ... This is an absorbing book: as a reader you can't help but get caught up in the author's infectious enthusiasm for Africa's beauty and its beasts. On turning the last page, booking the first plane out to Botswana was most tempting." -- TNT

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Review

He writes beautifully and viscerally about the rhythm of bush life...This is an absorbing book: as a reader you can't help but get caught up in the author's infectious enthusiasm for Africa's beauty and its beasts. On turning the last page, booking the first plane out to Botswana was most tempting. --TNT Magazine

Peter Allison's engaging account of his life as a safari guide in the Botswana bush complete with flatulent zebra's and accident-prone tourists. --Wanderlust

Synopsis

Peter Allison was only nineteen when he left Australia for Africa, thinking he might travel around and see a bit of the country before going home to a 'proper job'. But Africa worked its magic, and Peter ended up falling, quickly and completely, in love with the country and its wildlife. Landing in a game reserve in the wildlife-rich Okavango Delta, he became a safari guide and, some twelve years later, his short holiday in Africa isn't over yet.Whatever You Do, Don't Runis his guide's-eye view of living in the bush, confronting the world's fiercest animals and, most challenging of all, managing herds of gaping tourists. Like the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more 'fashionable' hot pink ensemble, or the Japanese tourist who requested a repeat performance of Allison's being charged by a lion so he could videotape it. Peter Allison - like an affable, younger David Attenborough or a slightly more laid-back Steve Irwin - really knows his wildlife. He's had some extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime experiences.From close encounters with hungry lions, cranky elephants and over-protective honey badgers, there's not much in the African bush that Peter hasn't seen, done or been chased by. His affection for these wild and dangerous animals and his fascination with, and respect for, their often extraordinary behaviour is completely genuine, deep and infectious. Reading Whatever You Do, Don't Runis like sitting around a campfire late at night and listening to him talking - his stories of the animals and the bush are gentle, warm, funny and utterly engaging.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 908 KB
  • Print Length: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Nicholas Brealey Publishing (11 Jan. 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004GCK620
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • : Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #58,863 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So good... 5 Jun. 2008
By WH
Format:Paperback
One of those books you can't put down. Each chapter, of about 5-15 pages is a little story in itself - funny, sad, all moving in some way. I found myself trying to limit the amount I read I enjoyed it so much! A wonderful, simple, uncomplicated and fun book.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A crazy journey 3 Nov. 2008
Format:Paperback
A must have for anybody who has ambitions in the guiding industry or simply a love of wildlife. Full of campfire stories written so you never want to put the book down. This book makes you want to rush out and buy a plane ticket to Africa immediately.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An amusing collection of safari guide anecdotes 23 Mar. 2011
By Julia Flyte TOP 50 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
Peter Allison was a 19 year old Australian backpacker when he ended up working in the bar at a safari park in South Africa. After a couple of years he progressed to safari guide and moved to a camp in Botswana. This is a collection of anecdotes over the stream of his career. The kind of stories he might tell sitting around the bush fire at night: The time I almost got eaten by a crocodile. Rude tourists that I have encountered. The time I outfoxed the monkeys who were keeping me awake. The time I stranded my tourist group in a hippo pool. The time we got lost in the Okovanga Delta. And so on. Many of the stories are extremely self-deprecating and I can't help suspect that there's been some embellishment along the way, but that only adds to the entertainment factor.

My initial impression when I started reading was that Allison was rather annoying, but he won me over by the sheer entertainment value of his stories. This is not the best book if you're wanting a serious read about animals and their behaviour, but it will definitely create the urge to head off on safari. A very engaging and amusing collection of stories. Recommended.

While there are some photographs included, I wish there were more - specifically it would be good to include a honey badger and a genet.

If this whets your appetite for similar reads, I recommend Backseat Safari, which is written by a nature photographer working in Southern Africa.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars lots of fun 5 Dec. 2008
Format:Paperback
I thoroughly enjoyed this book - the author has a good sense of humour and is not afraid to admit when he's done something different or just plain stupid. He seems to have a good feeling for Africa and its wild life.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Dont Run Whatever you do 7 Aug. 2009
Format:Paperback
A humerous and delightful and insightful book on the Okavango Swamps.
Good to read if you intend visiting these swamps or need to know about Ranger / tourist life in the swamps. The author is Australian and how he has adjusted to Wild Life and African expierences. Mossies - mice - lions - elephants and drowning Land Rovers .. German tourists and bird watchers.. all make up the fun of the book
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars WARNING 10 Jan. 2010
By Stella
Format:Paperback
Brilliant book, but please be aware that it is the same as the UK version 'Dont Run, whatever you do'.
Unfortunately, having bought both books for a present, I was unaware of this until I went on to Peter Allison's website. Amazon treats these books as different too.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining read 1 Oct. 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I bought this just after a safari in Botswana. It is laid out as a series of short stories. Very amusing and informative and very true to life on safari in Botswana. Good for either preparation or reminiscing for a safari or just a good general read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Compulsive read 14 Sept. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Bought this book when it was on offer and enjoyed it so much bought the next in the series at full price. A great mix of serious, funny and thought provoking. The chapters each tell their own short story and you can't help but read just one more!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
read half quite a good read
Published 15 hours ago by Gill H
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
An amusing, light hearted pre-safari read.
Published 2 months ago by GB
5.0 out of 5 stars Honey badgers.
First book I have read by Peter Allison. It is very funny. I find myself giggling out loud.Really easy going read, which is both factual and entertaining.
Published 3 months ago by Nicola
5.0 out of 5 stars a Brilliant read!
one of the best, funniest books I have read in a very long time! looking forward to reading his other works, took me right back to Africa and the fun I had out there!
Published 4 months ago by Ad
5.0 out of 5 stars Armchair Safari!!
Brilliant, I enjoyed every chapter. Not been brave enough to attempt one myself yet but sorely tempted after reading this.
Published 4 months ago by Hilary Hampson
5.0 out of 5 stars Whatever you do...
I loved this book. It made me laugh so hard at some of the ancedotes.
Published 4 months ago by toydog16r
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
An excellent, quick and fun read
Published 4 months ago by great
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
loved it well; written and very funny.
Published 5 months ago by Big P
4.0 out of 5 stars ?Tall Storiesn
Having lived, worked and safaried in Africa for even more years than Peter Allison I expected to enjoy this book and was not disappointed. Read more
Published 6 months ago by june allen
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
I loved this, couldn't put it down!
Published 7 months ago by CP123
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