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Don't Mention the Score: A Masochist's History Of England's National Football Team Hardcover – 2 Oct 2008

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Quercus (2 Oct. 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1847244092
  • ISBN-13: 978-1847244093
  • Product Dimensions: 13.2 x 3.2 x 19.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 794,318 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

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Product Description


… irreverent, often hilarious - Sunday Times.

Simon Briggs's lightness of touch, intrinsic humour and gift for the telling detail make this an engaging read - Sunday Telegraph.

splendid … a jovially airy trawl through the exasperating life of England's national team - Frank Keating, Guardian.

witty but also deals with issues - Sunday Telegraph

A light-hearted but highly intelligent history of the English football team - Sunday Express.

… a rip-roaring look at the trials and tribulations of the England football team - Sport.

From the Inside Flap

Seldom has the gap between national expectation and actual achievement been so wide as in the case of England's hapless football team… Don't Mention the Score is the tragicomic story of how one small nation tried and failed to dominate world football. Littered with red cards, missed penalties, and more than a handful of off-the-ball incidents, Don't Mention the Score is a hilarious and often exasperating journey through England's 136-year history of footballing underachievement. It features a case of slippery Argentinians, dull but reliable Germans, and dreamily gifted Brazilians - all of them itching to hand out a technical masterclass in one-touch football to the recreation-ground clodhoppers of Olde Englande… In the rumbustious style of his bestselling Stiff Upper Lips and Baggy Green Caps, Simon Briggs charts England football's rare highs and all-too-frequent lows. Embellished with some 50 black-and-white photographs, and incorporating more than 100 of the wittiest and most wounding quotations about England and England footballers past and present, Don't Mention the Score is the perfect gift for any football fan, from eighteen to eighty.

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Jontee on 17 Dec. 2008
Format: Hardcover
Instead of the claptrap that the tabloid papers print before and after every England game - Briggs takes a sensible look at what has made the England team the highly skilled yet immensely unpredictable outfit that it is today. Full of anecdotes - many of which you may know - many of which you've never heard and a load that you had forgotten - it is meticulously researched (as you'd expect from a Telegraph journalist) and proof that Briggs (a cricket correspondent) can turn his hand to other sports as well. If you have ever waved a red and white ensign during the european or world cup - make sure you know why you're supporting them by reading this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By russell clarke TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on 6 July 2009
Format: Hardcover
Arguably (at least with myself ) the most quotable book I have read Don't Mention The Score is not only a fascinating and informative history of the England football team it is also ,thanks to the rich source of quotes ,extremely entertaining and at time laugh out loud funny. How can one not laugh at the following comment made by Bert Sprotson England's full back for their infamous 1938 match against Germany in Berlin where the England team , under pressure from FA secretary Stanley Rous, gave a Nazi salute: "All I know is football .But t,way I see it yon ,Itler fella is an evil little ****".Spot on .If only Neville Chamberlin had have had his insight.
The book whizzes from the nascent days of English in 1872 where they played without net's , didn't have penalty's and basically all ran after the ball like the players in that old Harry Enfield sketch to the modern day where they do have nets and penalty's and all run around after the largest pay cheque. . The narrative takes in forgotten figures of the game like coach Jimmy Hogan who hailed from Burnley and with typical obtuseness was ignored by his home country and had to ply his trade overseas where his innovative technical coaching helped teams like Austria move the game forward with players like Matthias Sindelar ,the finest footballer of his generation.
It's also a timely reminder that England has had some truly great players who don't get the credit they deserve in an era when defenders who cant, defend (Glen Johnson) , midfielders who couldn't tackle a concrete bollard (Paul Scholes) and wingers who couldn't cross a beach ball (Sean Wright Phillips) waltz ( or in Scholes case waltzed) into the England side. Don't, get me started on Frank Lampard in an England shirt either.
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