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Dogs Chase Cars

Dogs Chase Cars [Kindle Edition]

Mark Porter
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)

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Product Description


5 Star Kindle Reader Review; Horatio "Harry" has a problem - a few problems, really. His marriage might be in jeopardy. His best friend crashed at his pad for two weeks and stayed for two years. Counseling is fruitless, his therapist more unhinged than he is. He can't move forward with anything in his life because in every scenario, all he sees is absurdity. Everything lacks meaning for him. Prostitutes offering services makes it all sound "like work." And Harry doesn't want to work. Trying his hand as a private investigator, specializing in cases of adultery, he can barely get himself to bother charging his clients - hoping instead to find that their spouses aren't even cheating. His investigative talents, and better judgment, are put to the test, though, after an attempted murder on one of his friends launches Harry on an adventure that forces him to solve more than just a crime. Dressed up in bawdy, even scatological, gross-out, humor, Dogs Chase Cars has wit - real wit - to spare. Almost every paragraph builds up to its own punch line, and delivers a blow every time, even a few knock-outs. Porter rarely misses a jab, handing out wry observations like they were kittens, cleverly setting the stage for Harry's emotional transformation to re-engaging with his life, friends and family. Mystery, humor, sex - it's all there, but what elevates Dogs Chase Cars in the end is heart. Porter's characters walk, talk and act like real people - he nails the dialogue, the interaction, the attractions, the challenges and the conflicts with subtlety and nuance, and has us laughing and rooting for Harry and his misfit circle of friends as they track down a would-be killer, and learn to take care of each other along the way. With strains reminiscent of John Barth's The End of the Road, or Jason Schwartzman's character in HBO's Bored to Death, Porter's debut novel is a fun read - a humorous and compelling mystery with a heartfelt ending that draws a path from finding absurdity to finding meaning in our lives through the people we know and care about.

"Dogs Chase Cars made me laugh out loud. Many times. It is reminiscent of Carl Hiaasen's books - an excellent crime drama coupled with hilarious dialogue and situations. I totally loved it. - Mike Boon, writer/comedian

Product Description

Horatio Goodman appears beset by large decisions that make themselves around him whilst he ties his shoe laces. He has made the unlikely swap from store detective to private detective following a night on the couch. He did not realise just how much of his time would be spent sat in his van, waiting for unfaithful spouses to provide ammunition for the divorce courts.

His best friend, Lambert Windle, failing at most things, except attracting women, is a college lecturer in English Literature and has somehow been decamped in the spare room for two years now. Two years of nocturnal shuffling and bumping, of bouncing bed springs and another stranger at the breakfast table.

Horatio’s wife, Megan appears to take all in her stride, fixed she says by her therapist. Changes are coming for Horatio, Megan has warned him. He must first visit the therapist and then notes can be compared, decisions arrived upon.

But just who is Caleb Pink? This shrink with the life saving touch? Was he not the bass player in a 1970s glam rock band, isn’t he massively and hopelessly depressed?

Megan floats through a world in which the three men closest to her, husband; lodger and former therapist look to her for reason and warmth. Two of them would probably like to share her bed; one of them just wants to connect with her again.

This is the story of what happens when broken people try to make some of the pieces fit together.

Praise for 'Dogs Chase Cars'

"Dogs Chase Cars made me laugh out loud. Many times. It is reminiscent of Carl Hiaasen's books - an excellent crime drama coupled with hilarious dialogue and situations. In terms of laugh-a-minute romps, this is indeed one, but with slightly less romping than the average Jilly Cooper horse-fest. Porter has pulled one out of the hat with Dogs and if you asked me whether you should read it I would reply, "yes - definitely." Take this book up to the counter now and buy it. Unless you are shopping on-line, in which case you should add it to your 'cart' and proceed to the 'checkout' neither of which have a tangible existence outside the ether of the interworld.... um, anyway, in Mike Boon speak that basically means I totally loved it.

- Mike Boon, Stand-up/Writer

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 264 KB
  • Print Length: 274 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1456554956
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Drugstore Books (3 Feb 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004M8S53A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #6,117 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Mark Porter is an ex-stand-up comedian and Probation Officer. He has written for boxing websites and handled hecklers, hacks and prisoners in anger management group work.

He specialises in chaotic crime mysteries and whodunits. However, he is equally at home in a variety of styles and settings. Noir novella 'Get Stupid' due late 2014 may just become a cult classic in its own right. Whatever the genre, Mark is accomplished in creating characters that will remain with you once you have finished reading.

Mark Porter has been compared to Carl Hiaasen and John Barth. He cites his influences as running the gauntlet from Joe R.Lansdale and Tim Dorsey through Elmore Leonard, Raymond Chandler and back again via Sam Lipsyte. His ear for dialogue and his understanding of motivation, character flaws and the inner workings of the under dog allow him to produce hilarious comedy that pulls you into the heart of the conflict.

The Drugstore Books backed 'Dogs Chase Cars' was his first novel. Achieving Amazon best selling status on Kindle, 'Dogs Chase Cars' has received plaudits from a variety of internet sites.

Mark has written for boxing and American Football publications and websites and recently contributed to photographer Stacey Yates' book project.

His short stories often appear online on sites such as Pulp

Second novel 'Moscow Drive' is the first in the Rifkin & Whelan Mersey Mojo series and was published in December 2012.

If you are tired of comedy that fails to make you laugh, give Mark Porter a shot. A genuinely fresh voice.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny, and deceptively intelligent 29 Mar 2011
By Cuban Heel VINE VOICE
Format:Kindle Edition
I have to preface my review by saying I don't often read thrillers or private eye novels as I usually find them not terribly well written and a bit cliched. I also don't often read books that promise to make me laugh out loud as that's a big claim, and one that almost always lets me down. I tried this book as it's a debut novel by an author from the same city that I live in, and thank god for that geographical coincidence because it led me to one hell of an enjoyable read.

First and foremost, this IS a funny book. It did indeed make me laugh out loud on several occasions. The fact that Mark Porter used to be a stand-up comedian probably helps as the humour comes from the sort of observational material that some comics base their careers on. A lot of it revolves around the narrator's dog, but not in a sentimental dog-loving kind of way, more in an exasperated stepping-in-things, inappropriate-contact-with-parts-of-the-dog's-anatomy kind of way. But don't think for a second that the book is all about gags because there's a real intelligence to the way Mark Porter deals with relationships, especially the one between Horatio and his wife. There are sections in it that are incredibly well observed and insightful, and yet handled in a way that doesn't disrupt the overall comic tone. That did impress me a lot.

Ultimately, this book is something a bit different from the usual British crime novel. There are no hard drinking, divorced detectives, and neither are there any fast talking, womanising private eyes. The main character is an Englishman living in Washington with his American wife, crippled by a lack of drive and ambition and resorting to private investigation as a way to somehow, finally, make some money and contribute to the household finances.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable read. 4 Sep 2011
By Mike
Format:Kindle Edition
This is a light book that is entertaining and worth reading. Nothing taxing or thought provoking, just honest story telling that allows you to hitch a ride with Harry through a few days of his life. A few laughs, a cringe here and there and you're left with a feeling you want to track down more of Mark Porter's (The author) work.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Heart-warming comedy 28 Feb 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
While Harry Goodman (the main character) starts out trying to define himself work-wise, what he ends up doing is finding himself through the family and friends that love him. Through a series of twists and turns that has him seeing a psychologist, working with the same psychologist to hunt down the author of a threatening letter, caring for a hurt friend, then that friend's family, and finally solving the central mystery of the book, we learn along with Harry the lessons that life can teach us. The reader is rewarded in this heart-warming tale that provides a lot of laughs along the way.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars dogs chase cars 15 July 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
i found this story absolutely hilarious. I read it while i was on holiday but was desperate to finish it. Harry is a typical english bloke and with and american wife and several american friends gets into a bit of a do with the lodger being shot and their friend turning them into kind of vigilante's. They solve the crime of who shot the lodger and alls well that ends well but it really made me laugh.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Dogs Chase Cars 1 May 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I thought this was a brilliant book. So much humour, yet kept me gripped til the end! It was un-put-downable!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A likeable weekend read 26 April 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Decent who done it…with
a few laughs and a great sense of friendship. heart warming moments which are restrained enough not to be too sickly.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Debut 15 Mar 2013
By Jamesy
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I love crime fiction and this is a really strong debut. The main character is engaging and the plot is intricate and laugh out loud funny. I would look for more from Mark Porter in future.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Book 18 Feb 2013
By luna
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Not a heavy crime novel or thriller, but is however, an extremely funny detective story that draws upon different aspects of the "hero's" relationships, friendships and daily life.
A compelling story-line that allows you to completely relate to the main character and the stories of the people that surround him.
Would recommend to anyone.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
rubbish story line .
Published 4 days ago by val
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT FOR ME
Published 16 days ago by Matilda
2.0 out of 5 stars Not my cup of tea at all sadly
What can I say? I read the first 50 pages, I couldnt warm to it , its not what I would read normally but if you dont try new things then you never discover new interests.
Published 4 months ago by tricoancilate
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read very entertaining.
flowed brilliantly, humour all the way and unexpected twist at the end, loved the characters, really warmed to them all a special soft spot for Reuben. highly recommend.
Published 5 months ago by janet anne
Published 8 months ago by Michael Baker
4.0 out of 5 stars light reading
an enjyable tale,light reading and a bit of fun.bought it to read on a plane journey,something not too taxing on the old grey cells.perfect for the job.
Published 9 months ago by GLEN IRLAND
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and witty thriller
I truly enjoyed this fab read, the characters are interesting and the story takes you on a fun journey, love the writers style and the humour laced throughout this delightful romp. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Tb Hindle
2.0 out of 5 stars Too many errors
Apart from the numerous typos(?), grammar mistakes, spelling errors and malapropisms, the story was quite difficult to follow. Read more
Published 18 months ago by G Kohn
1.0 out of 5 stars shocking
I read this book and found it to be the worse book I have EVER read very poorly writtern, nothing funny about this book. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Fred
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