Doctor Who Sound Effects (Vintage Beeb) [Audiobook] [Audio CD]

Like the circles of Hell in Dante's 'Inferno', there are many layers of Doctor Who fandom.

The first level is made up of fans who try not to miss the new episodes when they're broadcast and also own a few DVDs.

In the second level, the Who fans owns ALL of the DVDs and will make an effort to visit any exhibitions.

In the third level, the Who fan owns all of the DVDs, plus a few audio recordings of the missing episodes. They may also attend the odd convention too.

To enter the mystical fourth level, the Who fan leaves the existing reality behind and enters an e-space alternate universe of new audio adventures and books that fill the gaps between the known adventures.

Next comes the fifth level: videos featuring Doctor Who actors that aren't actually Who adventures and books with no actual appearance from Doctor Who.

If a Doctor Who fan is dedicated enough to pass through the fifth level, starved of any real Who-related material, they are then allowed to reach the final level, the ultimate challenge, where they sit alone in a room listening to noises.

This record is a Proustian treat for Doctor Who fans who watched it in the 1970s, or for those who have caught up with the Pertwee and Baker mid-70s adventures on DVD, giving listeners the opportunity to enjoy classics like 'Exxilon Control Room' without any annoying interruptions from the actors. You can, of course, also use them as a background to any homemade audio or video adventures.

One word of warning - whilst I welcome the opportunity to celebrate the mastery of Dick Mills and his colleagues at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, whenever I watch a Doctor Who DVD adventure from the mid-1970s, I keep getting distracted by the sound effects, thinking: "Side Two, Track Four" at key moments in the story.

The Radiophonic Workshop was always an essential ingredient in the initial brilliance of Doctor Who. Whether or not you're a dedicated Whovian, these are still really interesting pieces of sonic otherworldliness. A straight re-release of a 1978 LP, these are predominantly 1970s sound effects, and although sound of the incidental music at that time was just beginning to veer into novelty synthesizer cringeyness, the sound effects remained raw, experimental and really interesting.

The effects are all in their original mono, but they've been cleaned up as necessary to sound absolutely perfect and practically brand new. As it's a faithful re-issue of an LP, you only get just over half an hour's worth of sound.

Side one (the first 8 tracks) is predominantly background atmospheres ('atmos')- most are actually quite sedate and some even end up feeling like ambient meditation noises, but some, like "the Dalek control room" (the sound effect that continued to be used so brilliantly in the series from 2005 onwards), are familiarly sinister and tension-inducing. By weeding a couple of the more dangerous-sounding atmospheres out, I've got myself a playlist to help get our baby daughter to go to sleep- that's a bonus!

Side two (the other 22 tracks) is a little more atmos but also a range of spot effects- some alarms sounding, the sonic screwdriver (less squeaky than you may remember it), a few squeaks from the TARDIS, and a range of alien weapons being fired- not least the Dalek gun. These are more of a curiosity than a proper sit-down listening experience but they're still a joy. Some of the noises may sound cliché now (not all of them), but that's generally because the Radiophonic Workshop did them first, and everybody else copied it!

If you want to use Doctor Who noises for (for example) your ringtone or your alarm sound or your home movie (well who knows) then this is NOT the complete set of sound effects you'll be after. However, if you've downloaded the Doctor Who Adventure Games from the web site and you're willing to poke around a little with converting OGG files, then you'll find that between this excellent disc and the files already hidden on your PC, then you'll have a very thorough and generally outstanding Who sound effect library.

The inclusion of CD Text (so if your CD player is compatible, it will display the name of the track as it's being played, without having to look it up on the internet) is a small plus but a real sign that a bit of care has been taken on this release.

If you're a Who fan, or even just a fan of electronic sonic wizardry and ambience, then this is an essential and bargain addition to your collection.

I know it's a generality but I'll be safe ground if I say, "DOCTOR WHO fans are hoarders". Great hoarders. Of course, the more veracious (read: vocal) fans will be offended to be labelled as such and will depend a retraction; they would (high) regard themselves as `collectors'.

Certainly, there's a fine line between hoarding and collecting, and over the years I have been guilty of both, becoming fanatical about to vehemently seeking out the minutiae, no matter how obscure, that features the DOCTOR WHO brand. I realised I had a problem when discovering an `ice-lolly' wrapper from 1982. What was I thinking; where was the value in this? Collecting `archive material' or hoarding `tut' as THE APPRENTICE's Lord Sugar was remark.

However, there is merchandise that no matter how obscure and wholly useless in the real world that I am relieved to have `hoarded'. It serves not purpose and has been unceremoniously stored amid similar formats for decades.

The LP (`long playing' vinyl record), DOCTOR WHO - SOUND EFFECTS is it but why am I still retaining it? I don't even have a `record player' anymore, and haven't since the turn of the century.

It comes from a time (1978) when DOCTOR WHO merchandise had almost vanished from the high street, and, in the period before `off-air video recording machines' (VHS Recorders), the LP allowed fans to re-immerse themselves into the time:space vortex in the comfort of their bedrooms, imagining trips to alien landscapes and operating technology to disintegrate an oncoming threat. It enhanced imagination in playing within the DOCTOR WHO universe in a way that no modern day wii device or hand-held DS module could ever do.

In 2012, AUDIOGO's aural time machine takes us back to that bygone age with the re-issue of the LP. Digitally remastered (though I fondly regret that the Dalek's control room track is not subjected to a `skip' due to a minor vinyl scratch) by Mark Ayres (I assume as the sleeve notes are not specific), DOCTOR WHO - SOUND EFFECTS is as genius as the previous `vintage re-issue', DOCTOR WHO - GENESIS OF THE DALEKS whether you are long-time viewer or a post-2005 newcomer.

The single-disc release includes 30-tracks that span the final season of Jon Pertwee to Tom Baker's 1978, DOCTOR WHO - INVASION OF TIME, delivering a mix of background atmospherics (from the interior of the Zygon spacecraft to the sandminer relentlessly trundling across a wind-blasted landscape) and technology sound (from DOCTOR WHO - THE FACE OF EVIL Tesh firearms to dalek weaponry to the iconic - and never beaten - Fourth Doctor's sonic screwdriver).

However, it is testament to sound effects `magicians' from the BBC RADIOPHONIC WORKSHOP, Dick Mills and Brian Hodgson, that one aural creation is authentic and timeless, and, as such, has even been adopted by the NEW SERIES; the regular electronic ominous, low-rumbling (heart)beat of a dalek spacecraft interior. It's almost music. It's beautiful in a macabre way.

Equally disturbing is the hatching tanks within which the Skaro genetically-modified mutants "squelch and squeal in their tanks".

There is something innocent the sound of the TARDIS interior as it gently breathes and exfoliates through the turbulence of the vortex. Think of it as sucking a Werther's butter candy whilst perched on your Dad's knee at the age of five. Comforting, familiar and womb-like - the TARDIS. Presented here in a crystal-clear, crisp digital format without the interference generated as metal scrapes across the plastic of the original release. Glorious.

Sadly, DOCTOR WHO - SOUND EFFECTS may be too arcane or facile for some NEW SERIES viewers to comprehend but it has to be understood that without the expertise and natural creativity (using very the barest of resources available at the time) of sound designers that DOCTOR WHO would a one-dimensional television series. Sound effects are as important as the incidental music and the actor's dialogue.

Certainly, in isolation, listening to a series of sound effects may be considered to be odd but, here, we can indulge in unadulterated audio heritage that defines a piece of television history.

DOCTOR WHO - SOUND EFFECTS' importance resonates as significantly as a Yale key scarifying a taut piano wire. A singularly simple album but essential.