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Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages [Kindle Edition]

Boyd Lemon
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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  • Length: 336 pages
  • Word Wise: Enabled
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Book Description

Three Marriages-Three Divorces.
Did I Just Marry the Wrong Women?

Eleven years after my last divorce I moved to Boston at age 66, after a lifetime in California, to live platonically with a 23-year-old female college student. I still thought my marriages failed because I had married the wrong women--crazy women. Finally, I realized that I must have had some role in destroying these marriages. Encouraged by my roommate, I embark on a journey to uncover my role. My attitudes about marriage had been profoundly influenced by my place on the cusp between the moralistic generation of the 1930%u2019s and %u201840%u2019s and the next generation that embraced "sex, drugs and rock %u2018n roll" and greater independence and equality for women. I was also deeply troubled by my choice of a career that seemed only to help the rich get richer. These issues propelled me to avoid dealing with my marriages. My memoir is a story of these marriages and divorces and uncovering my role through intense introspection and the writing process.

Product Description

About the Author

After a stellar 40-year career as a nationally recognized attorney, Boyd Lemon discovered his passion, writing, and pursued it in the idyllic coastal town of Ventura, California; the literary, art and music scenes of Boston; a Bohemian year on the Left Bank in Paris; and finally by the bucolic rivers and forests of St. Marys, Georgia, where he currently lives. He has written seven books. His newest is "A Long Way To Contentment," a novel. He has also written a guide for retirement. Lemon has four adult children and four grandchildren. His second passion is travel, and he has visited six of the seven continents.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 894 KB
  • Print Length: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Outskirts Press, Inc. (6 Jan. 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #644,534 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Looking at a man's view of his failed marriages is enlightening. This is interesting for male or female readers.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.4 out of 5 stars  60 reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Male View of Failed Marriages 17 Jun. 2011
By Gordon S. Black - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Marriage is perhaps our oldest institutions, but it remains one of the most vulnerable. Although we are in awe of the many marriages that last fifty, sixty or even more years, we are equally aware of the nearly half of all marriages that end in premature deaths, usually quite painful. Boyd Lemon, a successful attorney by training and profession, has written a fascinating analysis of his three failed marriages, and what he has learned in the process of coming to grips with his failures. Most books like this one are written by women, for women; often with the men used as caricatures or foils against which to portray the "growth" of the woman. Lemon's analysis is brutally frank and honest, and he spars himself much less than I think he should have. In the process, the reader is given a rare view inside a troubled marriage from the point of view of its "male victim;" a man, working hard to fulfill his financial obligations and struggling all of time, but sometimes in the wrong way with the wrong outcome. This is an enlightening book for anyone to read, male or female.
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Read this before you marry or if your marriage has problems. 2 July 2011
By Virginia Colin - Published on
As a family mediator who works with couples when their marriages are falling apart, I watch for books that can help people understand what went wrong, how to avoid making the same mistakes again, and how to be good parents during and after separation and divorce. This book works. Boyd Lemon has had an interesting life. Success as a lawyer with no enthusiasm for his work, failed marriages to three very different women, insecurity, sex, drugs, politics, alcoholism, race horses, and, finally, a little therapy and a lot of writing. Male or female, you can learn a lot from this book. Seeing the errors this man and each of his wives made in their marriages may help you make a wiser decision about whom to marry. It can certainly remind you about the importance of working on your marriage: Listen to your partner; speak up for yourself; don't expect your partner to read your mind; do deal with conflicts so that you can resolve them as a team; don't assume that your spouse's expectations about roles in marriage are the same as yours; do seek counseling when you suspect that your marriage may be in trouble; do not drink too much alcohol. In short, DO give attention, affection, and respect to each other. Mr. Lemon does not explicitly say all that, but he makes it easy to learn.
Human Attachment
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bare Bone Truth 3 Jun. 2011
By Kat - Published on
As a relationship expert and coach who's life work it is to help people have fulfilling love lives, I am always on the look out for books that will help my clients. When I picked up Digging Deep my intention was to glean from it something to use in my work. I usually skim through such books picking out important elements. In this case I was drawn into the story and read the book cover to cover! The author tells the behind the scenes tale of what went wrong in his three marriages with such raw honesty I was compelled to know the whole story. Though much of the telling is about fairly extreme circumstances, from my vantage point it pinpoints the basic ways people go off course in a romantic relationship. The connection between sex, money, power and love is revealed, as each marriage begins and eventually crumbles. In outlining his thinking at the beginning of each marriage the author also pinpoints the moment when most marriages begin to fail. Some take a couple of years, others decades. Sometimes they last forever with both parties miserable. I recommend Digging Deep if you are up for reading some bare bone truths about what goes on behind closed doors from one mans very honest perspective.
Kat Knecht - The Relationship Coaching Connection
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Raw and Real 12 May 2011
By Miriam Hall - Published on
Boyd Lemon's Memoir, Digging Deep, A Writer Uncovers His Marriages, is an American On Chesil Beach. Lemon takes us through his years of brutal self-deception with gentle honesty and even a sense of humor. His willingness to let the writing process take over reveals understanding and empathy that were locked inside of him during his three marriages. An uncomfortable journey made safe with a narrator ready to own his, and his generation's, issues.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Too much information 7 Jun. 2012
By Alana Woods - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The several memoirs I've reviewed have had two things in common: the absolute need the authors very obviously felt to expel what they were holding within, and the courage it must have taken to publish.

It's one thing for a writer of fiction to lay themselves open to the comments of the world. It's another thing entirely when the subject matter exposed is the author's life.

I imagine memoirists deliberate endlessly over what to include and exclude. Or perhaps they don't. Perhaps the path to putting demons to rest is to hold nothing back. That certainly seems to be the approach taken here as the author discusses his three marriages.

The memoir is divided into three parts, each one devoted to looking back and dissecting the first, second and third marriages in an effort to discover why they failed.

Along the way the author finds Natalie Goldberg, a well-known writing teacher, attends her workshops and applies her suggestions to his writing.

Each part begins in the present day with the author wrestling with how to start. Each part contains multiple chapters, the beginnings to which also have preambles in the present day. Then we are plunged back in time while the author 'digs deep' in an attempt to discover what went wrong. The memoir reads to me very much like a stream of consciousness.

For me this memoir and its telling didn't resonate like it obviously has for many others---I admit to breaking my own rule of reviewing with this one which is not to read what anyone else has said about a book until I have published my own review.

Can you say a memoir holds no appeal? It's not like saying a novel doesn't appeal. When you admit to not liking a memoir could it be seen as a rejection of the person's life? I hope not because that is not my intention. I just didn't like the telling of it very much. For instance, is it necessary to take us into the bed and detail what happened there? For this reviewer it was a step too far.
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