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"Marar takes it upon himself to fully explore our two-faced nature in his book, and very enjoyable this exploration is. His references are wide-ranging, covering philosophy, psychology, literature and modern culture, and his language has an easy-going, humorous, down-to-earth quality. This is no obscure philosophical tract, but an intelligently written essay on one of life's more complex areas. Deception is an essential text if we are to disillusion ourselves that in our dealings with each other everything is as straightforward as it first appears." --Culture Wars
"For anyone involved in the narrative business (historians, ethicists, students of ideologies, religionists), this could be a very enlightening book, written with reference to a host of interesting references from the literature and the arts and leading the reader to be disturbed - a very good thing." --Australian Journal of Adult Learning
"For anyone involved in the narrative business (historians, ethicists, students of ideologies, religionists), this could be a very enlightening book, written with reference to a host of interesting references from the literature and the arts and leading the reader to be disturbed - a very good thing." --Australian Journal of Adult Learning
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Whether it's calling in sick when we fancy a day off, or telling someone we love them when we don't, all of us have sought to deceive. Deception is as woven into the texture of human life as death and taxes and, in a world where face-to-face conversations are being replaced by email and text messaging, the opportunities to deceive are now greater than ever. Our capacity for self deception is just as alarming -- most of us think we are cleverer, nicer, more attractive and better drivers than others think we are. But why do we deceive ourselves and others, and is it something we have the ability to control? If we wanted to, could we live a truly honest life? In this thought-provoking and entertaining book, Ziyad Marar throws a revealing light on these questions and shows how, by being more honest about our inevitable dishonesty, we might achieve a more fulfilling life. Drawing on philosophy, psychology and literature, Marar explores the workings of human nature and how our wiring has left us easily suckered by persuasive illusions, while our contradictory desires (for sex and honesty, money and kindness, cake and losing weight) force us to cook up self-serving stories. This need to deny the complexity of the world and the conflicts of our beliefs and desires is necessary, says Marar, simply to get by. Sellers and buyers, parents and children, friends and lovers must conceal from each other the unutterable truth that they don't believe or want the same things. Deception, it appears, is so deeply embedded in our lives that most of the time we don't even realise we are guilty of it. While recognising that it is impossible to live without deception, Marar believes that there are benefits from resisting its lure as much as we can bear. To understand our proneness to self-serving distortions is to help avoid some of their harmful consequences. But there should be limits to this aim since our mixed motives conjure up harmless as well as harmful deceptions, even beneficial ones. Being less deceptive is to understand this difference; to be more accepting of the awkward fact that kindness can be more important than truth. By honestly recognising that true honesty is a hopeless quest, we can rid ourselves of some of the anxieties that modern society presents us and, in turn, discover how to live well.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Why we lie,
By
This review is from: Deception (Art of Living) (Paperback)
Deception is a fascinating book about our psychological and evolutionary needs to deceive, as well as to what extent and how we can handle those. What is refreshing is the merging of psychology (the evolutionary and non-evolutionary kind), philosophy and literature to discuss the subject - the latter two serving reasonably well to bring it closer to a reader through poignant examples.
Compared to pop science the Malcolm Gladwell way, much less emphasis is being placed on repeatedly hammering a pre-defined message home and the book is of a much more appropriate length to the content as a result. You also finish it feeling more informed and not with the unease of being ever so slightly led astray, a blindfold attached wherever the theory might be shaky and inconsistent. Finally the book offers no easy solutions - for which it is to be additionally applauded. While complete truthfullness is unattainable, one is still encouraged to man up and try and get as close to it as one can.
4.0 out of 5 stars
An Erudite Canter Through the Psycho-Social Jungle,
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This review is from: Deception (Art of Living) (Paperback)
What I cannot quite grasp is why this book came to be written. Unlike with "The Happiness Paradox" the author seems to proffer no particular new insight but is content to weave a scholarly spider's web of concepts and anecdotes, real or fictional, mostly taken from his extensive but eclectic reading list of psychologists, philosophers and novelists. Such negativity should not be misinterpreted : Z.M writes extremely well and, while being absolutely "au fait" with the trendiest terminological jargon, never sounds arid, prolix or pretentious. His book reads like a series of lectures where we are confronted with the multitudinous ways by which human thought becomes devious when dealing with truth, and the parsimony with it of some people should it concern their self-image. (There are brief philosophical digressions on what is truth and, indeed, on freedom of the will) But nowhere is there revelation, only tendencious advice, as though we didn't already know we tell white lies every day just to get by. Recommended as background reading for social science students rather than for the general reader.
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