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My own experience of being widowed relatively young is relevant here, as I referred to Kate's website constantly in the early days. Her advice at each stage of the process is practical, succinct and honest. The book goes further, as it is intended for any poor soul who faces this disaster - male or female. Each chapter deals with a specific stage of the loss, grieving process, and all the mass of paperwork and general 'coping with life' that has to be done. There is advice about coping with the funeral, dealing with the belongings of your partner (basically don't do anything that doesn't feel right or that you're not ready for) and supporting your children.
Perhaps the most helpful aspect of this book is its basic message - an uplifting one, that life can - and will - eventually return. Kate refers to her own experiences and those of people with whom she's corresponded, so you never feel that you are reading any 'psychobabble' but genuine peoples' stories and advice.
And there is humour too. No book on death ought to be depressing - you need help, but you don't need to be made to feel any worse than you do already. Interspersed with her advice are Kate's 'diary entries' which are often likely to make you laugh out loud, and what can be a greater gift than to be able to raise smiles among those who feel that they will never laugh again?
I would urge anyone in my situation to get this book. It's really 'from the horse's mouth' and as the blurb says, it's unique as it is genuinely practical.
You don't need sugary words or psychological explanations of the grieving process - you need clear, straightforward advice and this is what you get with this book.
I think it is also required reading for anyone who might be trying to help a friend or family member coping with the loss of their partner as this will help you to understand a process that is thankfully outside the experiences of most people until later in life.
I am widowed and this book will end up being as well thumbed as my 'Delia'!
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