Dear Dee [Paperback]

Dear Dee is the first book by Sue Uden.

The book focuses around a small family. A Mum, Dad and their two thirty something year old daughters and then in turn their families. Like all families they have their own problems whether that is health, wealth etc. Each in their own way care very much for the other members but sometime their own lives take over and they get frustrated over the others problems.

Jackie, one of the daughters has been suffering from a form of mental illness for approx 8 years which in turn affects each member of the family in different ways. Her relationship with her sister Claire is not what it was as children and her parents spend a lot of time worrying about her, particularly her Mum Nickii. John the Dad and Claire have more in common with the love of writing which is their release. Everything changes suddenly one day and the focus suddenly has to shift.

I loved this story. I adored the relationship of the Father with his family from the very first chapter. As I read the book I couldn't help but feel whilst this was a story it was so easily likely to be happening to a family somewhere. There is huge honesty in what Sue writes and she fills the pages with humour even at the most emotional of time. Sue explores a number of tough subjects with compassion and clearly a lot of research.

I'm not ashamed to admit, I had tears rolling down my face from this book. Sometime tears of happiness as well as sadness.

A fantastic book Sue!

Sue Uden also a featured Author of ][ which I'm proud to be an Associate Reader for (launch date 29th June '11).

In theory this should be a sad book. I admit I did shed tears at a point where an experience in the book brought back memories of an experience of my own, but it was strangely comforting. Whether it is reality or fiction, or fiction loosely based upon reality is irrelevant. You don't even feel the need to pose the question, simply because the essence of this book is about the complexity of human emotions. About people feeling guilty for not being perfect and not always being able to cope, or know how to handle a situation. It serves as a reminder that we are all on life's journey - the things we face are not always things for which we are prepared. But this book will leave you smiling and appreciative of the irony of life. If you have ever supported anyone on any level - because of physical or mental illness, you will identify with it and feel a sense of recognition with the inevitability that sometimes you have to accept what life determines for you. If you haven't had similar experiences, it will let you peek behind the `closed door' of what life is like for a family coping with illness. A serious subject, treated in an honest and open way, that isn't depressing. It's a story with hope, acceptance of not always being able to influence an outcome and how the human spirit can rise above even the seemingly impossible. This is a book I am truly glad that I discovered, because it is full of heart.

This novel depicts the torment a family goes through in trying to help their daughter Jackie who is suffering from mental illness. John and Nickii Tolley have two married daughters, Claire and Jackie. Jackie is separated from her husband Lytton, and from their children. Her parents are very worried about her, and the strain on them is evident. Jackie's father John, together with other daughter Claire, are both keen writers, and John is determined to complete his novel, to write Jackie's story, emphasising the pain that her husband Lytton has inflicted on her. Nickii becomes increasingly worried about how John's health may be affected as all of this is going on.

It's a very moving, intensely emotional read that successfully tackles this difficult subject. I feel desperately sorry for Jackie, as when we meet her she is not getting anywhere near enough help or support with her condition from her incompetent doctor. The author does not shy away from the pain, sadness and loneliness that this sort of depressive illness can cause for the sufferer; the dark feelings and the anguish and frustration at feeling so low and trapped, and not being able to express oneself. 'Inside Jackie was screaming, 'Help me. Help me....' But the words wouldn't come.' The struggle to get through the day, when feeling so depressed and powerless; 'It was as though her body were made of stone and cemented to the chair she was sitting in.' This is a very accurate portrayal of how it feels to suffer from depression, to feel trapped and isolated, to have lost one's own voice and the strength and ability to express oneself. In another situation, with family around her, the author describes how Jackie feels sitting there amongst them as they going about various activities. 'But it was as though all of these things had happened on the outside of a huge bubble, inside which Jackie sat alone...She could see and hear through it; but it blurred her vision and toned down the sound, and it stopped her touching.'

Equally, the writer successfully portrays the exasperation and strain in those around the sufferer, who care for them and want to help, but don't have the answers. 'The frustration that all their love and support couldn't make Jackie better had become too great.' They want to help their daughter, but they can't see the best way of doing this, and wish were better. John thoughts reveal the conflict between his love for Jackie and wanting to understand, to help and protect her; she is still his little girl, but the nagging thought persists that she must change things herself. 'It wasn't her fault. Time and again he had to tell himself that it was not her fault; but he seemed to be dogged by a rising impatience and peevishness over which he had no control.'

I don't want to reveal any further information about the plot, as it is for future readers to discover what happens with Jackie and her family, except to say that the ending is not without hope. This is a well-written first novel tackling what is a devastating illness with sensitivity, intelligence and insight.