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Dealing With Disrespect: Handling your critics, no matter what they throw at you
 
 

Dealing With Disrespect: Handling your critics, no matter what they throw at you [Kindle Edition]

Jono Bacon
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Product Description

Product Description

With the growth of the Internet and the ease of publishing content, a new era of creative minds has sprung up to share videos, music, software, products, services, opinions, and more. While the technology has empowered a generation, an unfortunate side-effect has been a culture in which some consumers of this content have provided feedback in a form that is personalized, mean-spirited, disrespectful, and in some cases, malicious.

Unfortunately, this conduct can be jarring for many people, with some going as far to give up sharing their creative endeavors so as not to deal with the “wrath of the Internet”.

Dealing With Disrespect is a short, simple to read, free book that provides a straight-forward guide for handling this kind of challenging feedback, picking out the legitimate criticism to learn from, and ignoring the haters. The book helps put all communication, whether on or offline, into perspective and helps you to become a better communicator yourself.

The book is written by Jono Bacon, leading community manager and consultant, author of The Art of Community, founder of the Community Leadership Summit, and Ubuntu Community Manager.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 210 KB
  • Print Length: 67 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00K2EWNWM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #395,847 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
(Disclosure: Jono is a friend of mine and I received an advance copy of this book for comment.)

How to deal with disrespect -- that is, how to stop the insulting from derailing your conversations and bringing everyone down to their level -- is a critical topic, perhaps the critical topic, for marketing and community management in the 21st century. In this short work, Jono provides a framework for classifying communications and a set of ways to help you work with the disaffected and help them to contribute constructively to the conversations you have. He has ample experience of dealing with misguided hatred and with legitimate criticism as part of his job, and here he lays out some techniques he's developed to help you know when to help someone over their inaccurate dislike and when to exclude the trolls from your community and your communications. If you manage a community, you should read this and you'll learn from it. If you represent an organisation publicly, you should read this and you'll learn from it. If you fever speak to anyone ever for any reason, knowing what Jono wants to teach you here will make you better at it.
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Amazon.com: 4.8 out of 5 stars  8 reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An essential primer for online social etiquette 4 May 2014
By Jeff Spaleta - Published on Amazon.com
Full disclosure:
Jono is a long time advisory of mine. And in the spirit of the school of Corleone's central teaching... "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" it would safe for me to say that we have grown quite close over the years.

This isn't just a book for people who need to fend off the trolls who have migrated out from under storybook bridges and now have taken up residence in every dark overpass along the internet superhighway. This book has useful information for anyone who finds themselves the quenching voice of dissent that balances the firey forge of passion, in the collaborative process of tempering an idea from something soft and malleable into something keen and durable, into something lasting and brilliant.

If you find yourself struggling with providing constructive criticism and feel like people are just tuning you out when you speak up about something that is bothering you, you'll find some very useful information in this book to help you be much more effective in getting heard without burning bridges. Don't yell louder. Don't scream from the rooftops. Don't ratchet up the tension. Read this book and learn some strategies to help prevent escalation and take an objective and calm tact at laying out your criticism respectfully.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars If you are in computing and value your sanity and your marriage read this book 2 May 2014
By Dick Morrell - Published on Amazon.com
There are times when in software projects, communities or facing deliverables where you meet a few team members you wish you could tie behind your car and go for a long drive over non forgiving forest roads. There are times when faced with a troll who doesn't do reason and doesn't understand that common sense dictates seeing things from every perspective to deliver common value. When your proposition doesn't stack up because you are faced with an inability to communicate the old adage was to reach for "The Little Book of Calm". Only Jono Bacon who has spent over a decade in the Free and Open Source Software Community has put what he has learnt at the head of the community beast that is one of the most popular projects in the world into a self help / management guide for the masses. I hope a lot of you read it. I'd like to think as a parent of two tiny children I am more tolerant than my former troll baiting irc kick/banning self but having now read this twice I don't think I can recommend it high enough.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Review with Respect 3 May 2014
By Stephan Adig - Published on Amazon.com
First of all a full disclosure:

The Author, Jono Bacon, is a long standing colleague of mine,
while working on the Ubuntu project.
I am not, in any way, affiliated with his employer (Canonical),
and sometimes (not all the times) I really don't share
his views and/or opinions.

Personal, I see him as a friend, not a close one, but more like 'Brothers in Arms'.
We share the passion of OpenSource and we do like Ubuntu OS, Heavy Metal and Pints of Beer.
And especially we like to be a Dad of the most adorable and awesome Sons, we ever wished for.

I owe him a lot, because he (and some other community members, but he in particular) pulled
me back into the Ubuntu Business a couple of years ago, and I am very thankful for this.

When Jono revealed his new writing 2 days ago, I started directly
to read it, because, believe me or not,
I was wondering if he was refering to me to some extend,
because I can be exact the same guy who he pictures in his latest book.
The disrespectful, the ranting and rambling guy, the angry 'OpenSource' guy,
who sits too many hours per day in front of the computer, and reads a lot of nonsense
from people who think they are the smartest guys on this planet.

Someone, who is passionate, angry and full of ramblings
when it comes to some positions in our technical world,
and sometimes speaks up, too loud.

Thankfully, he chose other examples, but I found myself in his book,
which is not really charming.

Well, honestly, Jono hit 'Bulls Eye' with his detailed description, between the various
aspects of how to read the different comments, responses or posts in our technical world.

His statement

"The trick here is to determine the attributes of the sender and the context."
(PDF, Page 8, 'Dealing with Disrespect')

is the essential message (he extends this later to the four important 'ingredients' sender,
content, tone, context).

Old Internet people like me, who still know the 'UseNet', we know how hard this can be.
How many times, we read UseNet Posts, which were in our eyes and ears unacceptable, bollocks or insane,
and we hit the 'Reply' button in our Newsreader and flamed this poor guy, we didn't even know personally.

In these days, we never thought about the other guy, we just flamed, we insulted on a very personal level,
but, believe me or not, it also came back, like a boomerang, and it really escalated.
But these were those days, we all had leather as skin, and we could swallow a lot.

Today, world has changed, especially we don't use the UseNet so often anymore, and our 'ramblings' can be
found on Weblogs and in the 'Comment' section of those or on Web-Forums.
What and how we are saying, writing, commenting nowadays is more publicly exposed than 20 years back.
The people got softer, we are trying to be more friendly to each other, we are using mostly a
conjugation of the word 'Good', even to say, that something was really bad.

What was missing all the time, was a guide, on how to deal with those, who are not 'nice',
who are not socially well conditioned, people who don't speak the political correct english/language of choice.

Until now.

Now, Jono wrote exactly this missing guide. On how to deal with those people.
And Jono just didn't write about it, he has the experience, working as 'The Community Manager' of Ubuntu.
He already dealt with those. He knows what he is/was writing about

And he knows, that not all of these people are anti-social, hateful or disrespectful.

Many of those people are smart, and in real life really friendly people.
It just needs some experience to deal with them, and Jono gave us now the right guide to learn from it.

I really beg you, to read this little guide of Jono, because you can learn from it.
If you are Community Manager, or you have to deal with a very loud community, or even when you are
the rambling guy. It's worth a read. A lot to learn and to understand.

This book finally tries to solve issues, which can't be fixed technically.

And thanks to Jono, I hope it will make the technical messsed up world a little more
enjoyable.

Thanks Jono for this amazing guide.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Guide for the Distraught 2 May 2014
By Neil Levine - Published on Amazon.com
This book is the literary version of Jono taking a deep 10 second breath before replying calmly to a critic. It provides simple yet clear and insightful ways to handle aggressive or unpleasant critics that are useful not just on the internet but also for your next family dinner. Jono has a great writing style that makes you feel like you are hanging out with him personally and makes it easy to finish this book in one sitting.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Working Effectively with Challenging People 2 May 2014
By Guy Martin - Published on Amazon.com
Verified Purchase
First off - full disclosure: Jono is a friend and professional colleague of mine, and I reviewed an initial draft of this book.

That being said, this book is well worth your time to read. As a professional community manager/strategist, I've all too often seen the kinds of behavior that Jono writes about in this book (and been on the receiving end of it more times than I care to remember).

This book is the first thing I've read that accurately captures the challenges (and provides easy and workable solutions) in dealing with communities, be they technical, non-technical, online, or in 'meat space'. It is full of practical guidance, and written in Jono's always irreverent style - filled with great stories to illustrate his points (and thankfully names left out to protect the innocent and the guilty! :))

It's a quick read, and I think you'll find your life easier to live in the face of adversity if you apply the wisdom contained in these pages.
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