Darwin's Blade: A Novel of Suspense [Mass Market Paperback]

Simmons has written (and quite well) in many genres, but this entry into the suspense/thriller category unfortunately doesn’t qualify as either suspenseful or thrilling.

The plot has some good elements: a ring of crooks including some Russian ‘mafia’ who pull off accident scams for the insurance money who have gone big time and in the process made the ‘little players’ who actually stage the accidents completely dispensable, a highly competent accident investigator in the person of Darwin Blade, a bullets-blazing car chase, a sail-plane to helicopter dog-fight, an incredible Vietnam fire-fight, and a sniper-to-sniper showdown. These elements scream Hollywood blockbuster movie, but what we have here is a book. A book that is bogged down by way too much technical detail on hot cars, weaponry of all types (of which some of the details are incorrect), accident reconstruction techniques, sniper skills, and tales of many accidents that are not relevant to the main story. When Simmons is describing the actual action, the story reads well, but elsewhere it’s as if all the research he did for this book was transcribed verbatim from his index cards.

Darwin Blade could be a very interesting character. But my belief in him was strained mightily by his incredible collection of talents: a doctorate in physics, college grad at 19, top-of-the-line Marine sniper, chess master, race car driver, premier accident investigator. The incidents Simmons uses to illustrate that last talent irritated me because in just about every case, Darwin comes up with the solution almost instantaneously, from extremely tiny clues, with none of Darwin’s internal thought processes described, and with little of the actual required leg-work shown. The rest of the characters other than Darwin’s love interest Syd are almost total ciphers, most especially the Russian ‘bad guys’, who start and remain nothing more than names, with no insight into their motivations and character, which brings into question the entire premise behind the final showdown.

This book would probably have been an exciting read at two hundred pages. At four-hundred plus, it’s almost excruciating.

--- Reviewed by Patrick Shepherd (hyperpat)

If you've ever heard of paint by the numbers -- something designed for small children that wish to stay inside the lines -- then you understand the title of this review. First time I breezed through the book, I'll admit I enjoyed it for the "no-brainer" it is, despite all the improbabilities (and mostly because I was still in the stage where one forgives an author his excesses and lapses). With hindsight, it's tough to believe that the same Dan Simmons who wrote SONG OF KALI, PHASES OF GRAVITY, the HYPERION and ENDYMION novels, SUMMER OF NIGHT, THE CROOK FACTORY and A WINTER HAUNTING managed to crank out this cookie-cutter creation. At the helm of this embarrassing thriller is a tough, infallible, stoic hero named Darwin "Dar" Minor, who is so adept at everything (from firing a sniper rifle to picking out booze, flying a glider, driving fast cars, etc.) that he comes off as a laughable attempt at reanimating James Bond in the guise of insurance investigator (And, yes, laughably, Simmons has his hero earning degrees and serving in elite armed services divisions before he's anywhere near the age of 30). It's not spoiling much to say Dar's investigations lead him to a conspiracy involving insurance fraud. But as the improbablilities pile up (from a hidden room in cabin -- shades of James Bond...or Austin Powers -- to a high-speed auto chase that seems designed more for a movie of the week), suspension of disbelief becomes just another statistic in one of Darwin's reconstruction equations. (And the whole ex-military tough-guy with the Spartan ideology, etc., comes off like the longings of a frustrated, middle-aged desk jockey). Worse, now that the internet is in full force, it is painfully obvious that the author fudged (perhaps the deadline was looming too closely) by using far too many urban myths in the accidents Darwin investigates (from the guy who is smothered by elephant crap to the guy who accidentally shoots himself by placing a bullet -- while stranded in a pitch black wilderness area -- in a car fusebox, to the kid who manages to blow himself up by strapping a rocket to his car; and so on). Yeah, it's a work of fiction, and yeah the author might have been shooting for comedy -- but why not use the imagination and come up with something original? To add insult to injury, Simmons cranks out this sort of "prose" (I use the term loosely) all through the novel:
"There is a certain bond between men that goes deeper than verbal communication. Men who have known each other for years and worked together-occasionally on dangerous projects-begin to have a 6th sense about their friends' thoughts and emotions. This allows them to communicate on a level deeper than women could ever understand. Lawrence and Dar had just picked up coffee and donuts at at Dunkin' Donuts in north San Diego when Lawrence said, 'Something wrong, Dar?"
'No,' said Dar".
I'm almost tempted to say I need a minute to compose myself, while I reach for a tissue...'cause my eyes are tearing up. That's deep and touch stuff.

To really top things off -- or, rather, bottom things out -- Simmons breaks the rules of one his own fictional creations (genius and unpublished writer Duane McBride, a character in SUMMER OF NIGHT and A WINTER HAUNTING) who says a sure sign of bad or lazy writing is when the author describes a character by comparing him or her to a movies star. Which is EXACTLY what Simmons does when he compares Syd (Darwin's lover) to actress Stockard Channing.

Even Michael Crichton -- who publicly admitted he wasn't a great writer -- cobbled up better stuff than this. Since zero stars aren't allowed, I begrudgingly went with one. This is Simmons at his worst -- and laziest (just ask Duane).

Once again Dan Simmons changes genre and proves the man cant be pinned down. This time the book is about a vehicle crash inspector and is a tense thriller. It is not my favorite Simmons book, I prefer the more supernatural tales he twists so well, but it is a good read all the same. If you like Simmons you'll know each book is very different, and you'll know what to expect, and if your new to his stuff, dont judge him on this work alone. He is incredibly versatile and a wonderful story teller. Darwins Blade is worth a read, but as I said not my personal favorite. My own favorite is Children of the Night, a story weaving Romanian modern day tragedy with time old tales of Vampires and linking them together with some modern medical and scientific genius. Give this one a go, but make sure you try the other book to.