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The Dark Lord's Handbook [Kindle Edition]

Paul Dale
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £7.99
Kindle Price: £2.49 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Book Description

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, battles to be fought, hours of endless soliloquy in front of the mirror–it's a never-ending job. Not to mention deciding what to wear. (After hours, days, even weeks of consideration, it will be black.)

After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would be tyrants. He wrote an easy to follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others.

It had been hundreds of years, and the Handbook was lost in the annals of time, along with all that was mythic and exciting in the world. Then one day, a randy dragon had a chance encounter. Nine months later a Dark Lord was born.

In time, the Handbook found its way to this new contender, Morden.

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. Morden had better be a quick study.

Volume 1 110,000 words

The Dark Lord's Handbook: Conquest coming summer 2014.

Product Description

About the Author

I live in Bath, England. When I’m not writing, I’m cycling, which means I don’t get much writing done. My other interests include film, baking, physics, sport, Buddhism and playing all types of games. I have a BSc Degree in Physics from Bath University and a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing from Bath Spa University.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 848 KB
  • Print Length: 328 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Paul Dale; 4 edition (2 Feb. 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00756ZO4Y
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #69,780 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Paul Dale lives in Bath, England. When he's not writing, he's cycling, and can often be found struggling up the hills around his home. He is the author of The Dark Lord's Handbook series (two volumes).

Paul has a BSc in Physics with Applied Physics from Bath University and a Master of Arts Degree in Creative Writing from Bath Spa University.

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bad is the new good. 4 Feb. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I must admit that i was doubtful upon reading this as to whether or not it would be my cup of tea, the title alone was enough to poke my interest. I am not what one would call a big fan of fantasy literature, personally i think Tolkien could have done with slimming his volumes down by a mear 500 pages or so. I am however a big fan of excellent writing and this is excellent writing. The characters take full advantage of being written by a writer who allows them space to come truely alive in a world where the fantasy genre finally makes sense, a surreal edge to modern dilemmas rather than pompous wizards and albinos riding dragons. This is not a parody or a spoof but a loving homage to something i imagine is very close to Mr Dale's heart. It made me laugh out loud and i found it hard to put down and the character of Morden is one that will last; part Holden Caulfield and part Alex from A Clockwork Orange but with literal demonic powers. I feel better for having read it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A hand book of laughs 22 Feb. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Paul Dale takes us into a world where the Dark Lord has not even risen yet, not only that, but he still has to learn how to rise... then there is the small matter of what to wear, and whether he should simply pillage, or burn a city. This very funny book brings the angst of becoming a Dark Lord to the fore. Morden is a wholy believable character, and his orcs are wonderfully created.
A most exciting book from a very promising author. More please.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars What each evil villain needs...a handbook 11 Aug. 2012
By Cheryl M-M TOP 1000 REVIEWER
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Conceptually it is a superb idea.
I mean it is only natural that Dark Lords, who intend to take over the world with their minions, would need a basic step by step manual to do so.
The author has quite the flair for irony and a witty repertoire. Quite a few times I found myself shaking my hand and grinning.
However I do think it could have so much more.
The story often slips in and out of banal storyline and then whips back into a great comedic dryness. This roller coaster is what made it less than what I think could have been a brilliantly funny and satirical book.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A great read 25 Mar. 2013
By Neil
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I was a little bit worried that this might be a dry step by step guide to being a dark lord with a few funny ideas and a lot of padding. Its nothing like it. Its a genuine story with good characters, plot, and real humour. I read it while suffering from the dreaded lurgy and it did a good job of taking my mind off it. I'll definitely be buying the sequel.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Great first book - can't wait for more! 11 July 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Great book! Felt like a Pratchett's and Gaiman joint effort. Lots of fun and some good punns at the fantasy genres expense. However, fantasy fans will love it for that!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant read! 5 Feb. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
My only criticism is that he hasn't finished the next book yet! I want more please!
A great well rounded story with everything thrown in - fantasy - humour - love, and a
good cleverly woven plot to boot.
Forget the cycling Mr Dale, and get down to business . . . .
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4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining, if not what I expected 7 Dec. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I had expected a (tongue-in-cheek) handbook on how to be a Dark Lord whereas, other than the odd 'excerpt', this is actually a straight comedy-fantasy novel. Overall, I found it very entertaining but some of the running jokes ran on a little too long (gourmet food kept coming up again and again for example) and the end was a little convoluted and left me unsatisfied, hence 4 stars rather than 5.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic 27 Oct. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Possibly the best fantasy book that I have read for years, Paul Dale is right up there with Terry Goodkind and tolkien. It grabs you right from the start and doesn't let you go until the very last word.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Mildly amusing story with some good bits
Some genuinely funny reflections on the common tropes of fantasy lit. The story is ok even if it doesn't shine, but I laughed a fair bit. Recommended.
Published 3 months ago by jack p
5.0 out of 5 stars I really enjoyed this. It was a farce in the best ...
I really enjoyed this. It was a farce in the best sense of the word. Nice interplay between characters and a true ish or recognizable morality.
Good fun.
Published 3 months ago by bellowsmain
5.0 out of 5 stars engaging
I really enjoyed this book, found it hard to put down. Funny, cynical, mildly philosophical, satirical and a rattling good yarn of good and evil and the only subtle differences... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant read!
LOVED IT! I had no idea what to expect but was very happy with what I found. I thought it was a witty, smart, original look at the ultimate struggle between good and evil with... Read more
Published 9 months ago by goosingpuck
5.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly hard to put down
The previous reviews offer up a very nice precis of the story, so I'll not bother. Nevertheless, I would definitely recommend this book; I enjoyed the rather po-mo approach to the... Read more
Published 17 months ago by Mr. D. J. Hill
4.0 out of 5 stars We all know how these stories usually end
And that is, just as the evil Dark Lord is about to step onto the winners podium, (and that includes the one who had a 'thing' about rings) along comes the Hero, who always manages... Read more
Published 17 months ago by D. E. Rainger
5.0 out of 5 stars good read
Well written entertaining novel with a a good story line and cilourfull characters
Well recommended.look out for more by this author.
Published 20 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars EPICALLY AWESOME!!!'
OMG I LOVE THIS BOOK SOOOOOO MUCH IT IS SO EPIC AND AWESOME AND JUST PLAIN COOL! Just wanna let the world know: I've ALWAYS found evil cooler than good, SO. Read more
Published 20 months ago by SAURABH MEHRA
4.0 out of 5 stars Impressive debut. A proper funny page-turner
I'm not a hard-core fantasy addict - it took me ages to get through Lord of the Rings, I've read less than half of Pratchett's stuff and I struggled through a couple of Robert... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Gary Taylor
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