Dear Martin Waddel, thanks for nothing! My football-obsessed seven year old stepson, who has a distinct tendency to fantasise about being a football star, brought this book home from school and it has done much damage. In the current climate of UK primary school education, where children are praised for anything and everything, regardless of whether the behaviour is actually praiseworthy, my wife and I find it highly irresponsible that you can produce a childrens book which suggests that munching cheeseburgers while watching football on TV can lead to realization of the most risible fantasies a child is capable of. We had to tell our boy that this was merely a dream-sequence book, and that the last page or two where this becomes obvious, was missing. In the words of todays youth, could you please in future try to "keep it real".