Cry Blood Apache [DVD]

The things we do for our offspring, and later wish we hadn't. One of the joys of being a parent I guess! Poor Joel McCrea had the opportunity to go out in style when he made the magnificent elegiac "Ride the High Country"(62) for the legendary film director Sam Peckinpah. The film finishes with one of the great scenes in western film history with McCrea taking centre stage. It happens to be my favourite film ending from any film, and one that you should see for yourself. What a glorious way to finish a long and illustrious career in the cinema. But sadly his pesky son Jody as co producer of "Cry Blood Apache", managed to persuade him to make a brief comeback 8 years later in this inane film. Joel further exacerbated this mistake in 1976 when he made the very average family film "Mustang Country". The great man only appears very briefly at the start and finish of "Cry Blood Apache", but long enough to leave a bad taste.

The film concerns a disparate group of desperados who slaughter a small band of Apache indians on finding they possess a small quantity of gold. They keep one young woman alive to take them to the gold cache. Unfortunately for them the brother of the kidnapped woman was away on a hunting trip at the time, and is a bit peeved on his return to find everyone dead. This upsets him no end and he becomes a man on a mission, with many novel ways of despatching his rather dim witted victims. He is a sort of "Death Wish" Charles Bronson on steroids. Jody McCrea plays the one sympathetic character in the group, as befits the family name. Will McCrea manage to avoid the grisly fate of his so richly deserving companions. And quite frankly who really cares!

This film is very strange fare indeed. The director Jack Starrett, who also acts in the film, manages to make Ed Wood look like Orson Welles. A towering achievement in the annals of film making ineptitude given so much competition. All we are missing is Bela Lugosi. During the same period Monte Hellman demonstrated how fine westerns could be made on a limited budget. Starrett shows us just how bad they could be. The film looks a bit like one of my Uncle Bert's old home movies from the sixties. But that would be an insult to the sacred memory of Bert, who's movies were of greater artistic integrity, despite his tendency to film everything apart from the subject matter he meant to. The acting is non existent and you are only too glad to see these idiots bumped off in grisly fashion. Not grisly enough by half! They could do with a few acting lessons from the experts in the English premier football league. Sadly the film does not even manage to fall in the "so bad it has to be good" category. Pegasus entertainment who are responsible for unleashing this film from the cinematic black lagoon include it in their classic western collection. Although looking at the films in this collection it is stretching the truth a bit to call any of them a classic. Beware! This is probably one of the worst westerns I have had the misfortune to watch, and I have seen quite a few believe me! Because it is a western I must out of duty give it one star. Oh dear Joel, what were you thinking of! Do yourself a favour, don't bother.

Truly awful!! Dialogue is so corny it was almost hilarious. If you could call it a plot it was predictable and banal. This was the kind of western that appears on the free movie channels on satelite TV.

Unfortunately Joel Mcrea is more noticeable on the front cover or the DVD than he is in the film. This was a vehicle for Mcrea's son, Jody, and Joel just lent his name to it. I am a fan of Mcrea senior but Mcrea junior just does not cut it, at least not in this movie.