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Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition [Paperback]

Kerry Patterson , Joseph Grenny , Ron Mcmillan , Al Switzler
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
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Book Description

1 Oct 2011 0071771328 978-0071771320 2

The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate

“[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time.”
—from the Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here’s how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations.”
—Mark Victor Hansen, cocreator of the #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®

The first edition of Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene and revolutionized the way millions of people communicate when stakes are high. This new edition gives you the tools to:

  • Prepare for high-stakes situations
  • Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
  • Make it safe to talk about almost anything
  • Be persuasive, not abrasive

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Frequently Bought Together

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition + Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior + Influencer: The Power to Change Anything, First edition (Hardcover)
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Product details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Professional; 2 edition (1 Oct 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071771328
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071771320
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.7 x 22.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 9,343 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Product Description

About the Author

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler are cofounders of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and organizational performance.
www.vitalsmarts.com


Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good book with useful information. 11 April 2005
Format:Paperback
I enjoyed the book, but like Stephen Covey's material I found it little theoretical and academic for me.

The book does a nice job of detailing how quality conversations take place or should take place, also how to achieve this type of converstation.

The downside I felt is that I wanted help with dealing with hostile customers, clients or colleagues. I frequently attend meetings where I would like to handle these situtations better.

My opinion is that the book didn't cover those situations well enough for me to take into my business life.

This is still a worthwile book to read and would recommend it.

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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Packed with Knowledge! 29 April 2003
By Rolf Dobelli TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
Wanna argue? Nope. Then you need Kerry Patterson and his co-writers, who describe techniques for effective negotiation and conflict resolution in the context of important, potentially life-changing conversations. Examples include talking yourself into a promotion, bringing up important information at meetings and working out problems with your spouse. Some tips will sound familiar, such as knowing what you really want and being open to alternatives. However, the book also highlights some themes that are often forgotten in negotiations, such as making it safe for others to express their true feelings and desires. The authors explain how to avoid getting forced into false either-or choices and tell you how to remain alert for unstated alternatives or possibilities. This lively book includes many examples drawn from business and personal relationships. We from getAbstract recommend it in particular to those are new to negotiations and conflict resolution, though it teaches solid skills that any manager - or any marriage partner, for that matter - could benefit from mastering.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful 3 July 2012
By M Lovey
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I normally stay away from self-help books but I heard an interview on the radio with the author and was curious enough to buy the book. It is a good read and well worth ordering. Lots of insights that I have used positively in tricky situations. It's the type of book that you will refer to for many years.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Mostly brilliant - sometimes boring 31 Dec 2007
Format:Paperback
The best part of it is that it really helps, it doesn't read like your classic self-help book either. The analysis comes off as scientific and intelligent, not your average "I think it's like this" book. The downside is that it also gets a bit boring and lengthy at points - once you've gotten the point it often continues five more pages. Some points in the book I found hard to apply, but around 80% of the advice is directly applicable. It is full of examples - but they are served exactly the same way everytime : short and heavy handed. I'd rather see some more real-life examples with all the subleties we use in our language.
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15 of 18 people found the following review helpful
By Donald Mitchell HALL OF FAME TOP 500 REVIEWER VINE™ VOICE
Format:Paperback
What is a crucial conversation?

According to the authors, opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong. This can involve ending a relationship, asking a friend to repay a loan, giving the boss feedback about bad behavior, critiquing a colleague's work, or giving an unfavorable performance review.

You have three choices about such conversations. You can avoid the conversations, face them poorly, or face them well.

This book focuses on the last, providing practical advice about how to keep your own cool while encouraging everyone else to do she same. You can save a lot of time in reading and understanding the book if you look at figures 10-1 through 10-4 beginning on page 182 before you get very far. It's a helpful overview of the authors' point of view.

The book's strengths come in the authors' sympathy with those who have trouble holding such conversations, the many examples and advice on how to deal with difficult situations.

The book's main weakness comes in a desire to encapsulate the key lessons into ACRONYMS like STATE and ABCs. While they are nifty acronyms, I couldn't remember what they stood for by the next page. Something more visual at each stage would have helped me out.

I also think that the book would have benefited from more advice on how to be empathic with the other people involved.

But if you normally handle such situations by running the other way, screaming or slamming the door, this book will help you develop much more constructive habits that will leave you feeling better about yourself.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Practical 18 April 2012
By Harold
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
The reviews all sounded good so decided to buy and read. It was very impressive giving me a new insight into conversations and how important even the least conversation is and how it can become so crucial. I've tried to put into practice the skills and found them very useful. They do work. I've recommended the book to several friends. I highly recommended the book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant book that should be common sense 18 Feb 2008
Format:Paperback
Every chapter of the book teaches you new things. You can pick up the book and read a few pages and feel slightly enlightened.

The book does an excellent job at teaching one how to look at conversations as a vehicle for getting things settles and solved, without hurting anyone, or not getting the full message across. Highly recommended!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars When the stakes are high 12 Jan 2008
Format:Paperback
This book was a most enjoyable read but left me with a touch of ambivalence. As a handbook for communicating more effectively, it's helpful but perhaps a bit simplistic.

"Crucial conversations" are defined as those in which opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong. The book targets situations in business and personal life, and is extremely readable with its many illustrative dialogues from both sectors. An extensive vocabulary is introduced and I've had some of the terms floating like a ghostly subtext under my own conversations: Sucker's Choice; Safety; Salute and Stay Mute; Silence or Violence; Freeze Your Lover; Pool of Shared Meaning. It's all useful even if reductionist.

The techniques offered for effective negotiation are generally quite obvious, yet they bear repeating and codifying. They are, however, techniques, and as such they probably won't give earth-shaking results without an understanding of what's making people tick. Conversation and negotiation are so much more than technique.

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS is an ideal offering for the best-seller market and would be a great springboard for leadership development workshops.

My two picks for the best advice in this book:

(1) Stay focused on what you really want.
(2) If you give this book to a partner or business associate, don't take a yellow highlighter to the parts you think they need before you give it; better to work on your own side of the crucial conversations.

Linda Bulger, 2008
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Keep going!
This book was given to me by a friend, which is why I read it. I'll be honest, some of the self-help language (pools or meaning etc) and American self-help style was a little... Read more
Published 14 days ago by CA ALEXANDER
4.0 out of 5 stars Essential tools for more effective communication
This series of books is extremely useful to have in one's communication 'tool box'.I especially like Influencer by the same author
Published 17 days ago by Janet Ann Wilson
5.0 out of 5 stars Makes you really think about your approach to conversations. Must...
Easy to read and very thought provoking. Even if you never have to use all the methods, there are some very useful tools and techniques that really work. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Lorna
4.0 out of 5 stars Haven't finish reading it yet but so far so good.
From what I've readt up until now it seems to be a very good book. Opened my eyes for alternative thinking in relation to conducting important (crucial) conversations and arguments... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Kamuenho
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
A must read for any line manager, HR professional and business leader, it really makes you think about how you go about your daily activities.
Published 4 months ago by Mr
2.0 out of 5 stars Underwhelmed
This book was recommended by someone who told me it was lifechanging, an opinion which could be bolstered if one believes the jacket blurb. I was disappointed. Read more
Published 13 months ago by D. G. Evans
4.0 out of 5 stars Dam good business book on talking
When negotiating the trials of life, its always good to go in with a mental strategy. With a plan to remove teh arguments, disiminate good intentions and talk correctly you need to... Read more
Published 14 months ago by IM69
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful book
I don't generally like how-to books. They tend to be full of silly made-up jargon. This has a few but in the main it's readable and makes a lot of sense. Read more
Published on 26 April 2011 by NHow
5.0 out of 5 stars crucial conversations
Excellent book
Case studies are worth reading
Very Americanised but the ideas are useful in most settings. Read more
Published on 5 July 2010 by Gill
4.0 out of 5 stars review critical conversations
I had already read some of this book as it was reccommended to me by a colleague. Amazingly after reading the first couple of chapters I quite unexpectedly needed to use some of... Read more
Published on 28 May 2010 by G. Teft
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