With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they’ll play the age card: you know the sort of thing – 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.' Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, ‘Life is short.’ What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that’s longer? Son, if it’s got tits or tyres, you’re gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I’m talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I’m surprised you can’t get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don’t you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body – like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn’t have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.
Crazy Sh*t Old People Say
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Book Description
Fantastic gift humour book of outrageous wit and wisdom from our old folk.
About the Author
Geoff Tibballs lives in London.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Hilarious and, speaking as a 67 year old, very true. My 24 year old daughter told me he other day that the reason she always left the room when I came in was because I always moaned about everything. I told her this is what old people do, and gave her my copy of the book to back up my arguement. That's kept her quiet Ho Ho !!! Recommend this book to young and old alike: for the old to give reassurance that moaning is ok and can be very insightful (and funny), and to the young to tell them to just shut up and accept that us oldies are entitled to moan.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By k todd
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
not very good a bit of a let down not what I was expecting
would not recommend this title to my friends
would not recommend this title to my friends
By SianH
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is hilarious! Saw an article about the book and thought it give it a go, I could not put it down.
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4.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars
Very repetitive
Thought this would give me some laugh out loud moments. How wrong I was.
Not funny in the slightest. Don't bother buying it.
Not funny in the slightest. Don't bother buying it.
Published 11 months ago by Lynne Hudson
5.0 out of 5 stars
You don't have to be senile to be crazy
I've always said that I intend to grow old disgracefully and this book proves I should have lots of fun curling the toes up of my daughter or friends. Read more
Published 17 months ago by J. Spennewyn
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